How to look “polished”

[Turdissimo]

Some folk seem to look good all the time. Why is this? Do you think they always feel good too or would they look good even on a bad day?

Do you have to be thin (or at least not v overweight) for the look (whatever the look is) to work?

Can you wear cheap clothes / accessories if they are classic styles etc?

Can you be casual and polished at the same time?

PS would add I have tried to copy styling gurus etc on YouTube and just ended up buying items which didn’t suit me or feel like me.

Bemused. I want to look more put together..

Being slim (size 10 or under is key) and always having hair and make up done.

She's gorgeous! I think her beautiful bouncy hair and clear skin instantly gives the vibe OP is on about

There are high BMI men and women who look polished and neat, I don't think it's weight. I think it's good grooming (good classic haircut) and excellent hygiene and wearing tidy looking clothes, ironed, non faded, good quality clothes and shoes...it helps if you stick to classic looks.

Healthy weight
‘Good’ hair - preferably thick and glossy but failing that neat and tidy. No unnatural colours, roots, frizz etc
’Good’/ healthy teeth - straight-ish and not yellow
Healthy, clear skin
‘Natural’ make up
Classic jewellery (no extra piercings)
Classic clothes in neutral/ classic colours - white, navy, camel, denim blue etc etc. In natural fibres - cotton, linen, cashmere, wool etc etc
Polished shoes
Neat nails - shortish, healthy-looking. If polished then in classic shades - eg pale pink, damson etc

`eczema gloves (buy in bulk from amazon). Daily or overnight dose of nail oil and hand cream with gloves over top. I have emery boards scattered round the place - kitchen, living room, desk - and orange sticks in the bathroom.

People tell me I look “classy”.

I am size 8 and have thick curly hair. I stick to a fairly neutral colour palette for clothes most of the time. I find it much easier to look polished this time of year because all you need is a good coat and boots.

I have loads of both!!

I think dressing intentionally is an important factor. You need to wear colours and shapes that suit your colour and shape and think & plan whole outfits with shoes, coats and accessories.

Good teeth make all the difference…. I wish I had lovely teeth.

A PP said being intentional, and that is one of the main things that helps. If you want to look polished, you do need to put some thought into it, even if you have an inherently stylish gene. It doesn't have to be time-consuming, just know yourself and work with what you've got, not trying to copy someone else or forcing yourself into something that will never work.
I know I look best in slim boyfriend cut jeans - irrespective of what's in fashion, and I do own other cuts, but those are the ones that most suit my shape. Regardless of overall size, I size up in bottoms and stay true to size in tops, which works for my body shape, given I have a slight potbelly. And I have everything from XS to XL in my wardrobe because I buy what fits best, not what's on the label.
After years of a full head of highlights, I reverted to my natural colour and have a max of 8-10 ash highlights worked through every 6-9 months - it might be less "bright", but the difference to something that actually complements my skin colouring is huge. Likewise, muted colours, especially blues, work well for me, navy or really dark grey instead of black and an off-white, but not cream or brilliant white, then I tend to wear tonal or max two colours in any outfit although sometimes I go for something OTT not because its stylish but because I love it - like I love at my bright red baggy summer pants :)
I'm also obsessive about getting rid of stuff that doesn't fit, isn't in good condition or just doesn't make me feel good. If something is borderline, I take it on a holiday or a trip. If I still don't wear it when I have limited other choices, it goes. And finally, I iron everything, which, of course, is a pain, but it also makes a massive difference. So while I love the crisp white cotton shirt and jeans look, I don't have one because I hate to iron shirts.

I know a lady in her late 60s who is the most polished and stylish woman I have ever met so I asked her for her secrets!

She is overweight but has all her (expensive) clothes tailored.

She chooses two colours and builds her outfit that way. Prints are fine if they’re in those colours. Her nails and jewelry (even down to her watches) also coordinate. She plans her outfits the night before.

She has her black bob tidied up and reduced monthly - she takes her homework to the salon so she uses the time well

She doesn’t follow fashion but somehow doesn’t look dated. I think because her clothes are classic and not too “interesting.”

She follows “quiet luxury” so is a fan of cashmere and natural fabrics but not flashy brands.

She has permanent make up done (subtly, I can’t tell!) on her eyebrows and eyeliner.

I’m such a fan of hers, she’s a formidable woman and has achieved a lot in her life against some odds, and I think that her look is partially her armour, it gives her the confidence and strength.

It’s teeth I’m afraid 😟 You could have everything else ticked off but crooked teeth shatters the whole illusion. I fit most of the criteria people have said but my teeth just make me look so messy.

I agree with all these tips. As a lifelong scruff I've been trying to polish myself up the last few years as scruffy and young looks a bit "English Literature student" but scruffy and middle aged looks more "bag lady".

I really echo the posters saying posture. I'm an introvert and time blind so I'm often scurrying around with my head down scolding myself and trying not to be noticed. But if I catch sight of myself in a shop window it looks bloody awful!

There was an article in the Guardian a couple of years ago about walking with Alexander technique posture. Most people walk by stepping into the ball of each foot which makes you tip forward and your head go down. Ideally you should strike the heel down first and roll foot forward so the ball of foot only touches the ground momentarily. This is not only (apparently) better for your joints and spine but automatically your hips tip forward, spine straightens, shoulders go back and head goes up. Looks a million miles better - positive, confident, purposeful. I have to remind myself to do the heel thing but the rest follows by itself.

I would also add, in winter months the most important garment is a good quality coat because it's what people see you in most. I really love a smart full length wool coat with a belt, you can stick it on over anything and look instantly polished.

I agree with a comment upthread about properly fitting underwear. The four boob look or saggy boobs is never a good look.

Unlike most mumsnetters I quite enjoy ironing. I don't want to look scruffy, and the smartest looking people I know always wear clothes that have been ironed.

I agree about a smart coat. However, where I live the weather usually dictates my outer wear and at this time of year a waterproof and windproof parka style coat is more preferable. My wool jacket and coat have hardly been worn this winter.

I used to think that it was down to being thin and having good posture until I started work in a very deprived area. Many of the women are very thin and have good posture but will never look polished in a Mumsnet way. I now think genetics plays a massive role in being the right shape/proportion and of course style/fashion and even the concept of what looks polished can be very different according to your socio-economic class.

My MIL is extremely polished. She washes and blows her hair every morning, wears an expensive foundation and has an air of money about her. She’s not rich, but comfortable.

She tends to wear just “normal” clothes but her shoes, bag and coat will be expensive and usually designer. I look like a sack of spuds next to her 😂

My mother in law always looked polished. Like others have said, good haircut and colour every 8 weeks, manicured/polish on nails and quality clothing. She styles her hair daily.Even her comfy slobbing about clothes are cashmere for example. Ive a picture at an event she came to support me at and despite my efforts to look polished and the 'star' in our pics she just naturally outshone me even in a simple shift dress and scarf combo! No wonder she is always amazed and comments when ive actually styled my hair and not just stuck it up in a bun lol

Another vote for good teeth.

I'm not sure on teeth tbh, there is a huge spectrum of good enough teeth before it's incredibly jarring and distracting be it from chalky veneers or just unfortunate health and genetics. You can consider someone polished without them showing any teeth. I think average teeth are good enough.

I had such a wonderfully stylish aunt (the gene did not pass).
She would add something like this if she were here today:
Kindness and good manners are paramount. Without these, don't bother to read the rest.
Slenderness helps, but not essential for poise and grace
Spend money from the chest upwards, hands and feet. For example a good silk blouse, good-looking earrings (she wore big, plain, 'gold' ones), good hair, sunglasses, kind of meant it didn't matter what was going on on the rest of your body. Trousers could be inexpensive. Upper body focus area had to be classy.
She wore a good foundation (EL Double Wear fan for life), and she always wore lipstick that was the colour, kind of, of lips - not pale, just 'there'
She was a champion charity shop forager. She maintained if you were buying a cheap coat, bag, belt, shoes, ignore those with 'bits'. Cheap buckles, buttons, epaulettes look tacky. Go more expensive if you want eg. a handbag with gold trimmings.
She was a fan of the three-quarter sleeve, wobbly arms a no-no.
Also she was fond of saying 'Nobody's looking at you' so, dress for yourself in other words

I agree about hair and weight and some people are luckier than others in these two areas.

For example, some women have the face shape and hair type that really suits a simple pony tail or scruffy/chic up do, I think that must be much easier than having to wash and blow dry continually.

Ditto weight; my friend and I are both overweight, but the weight is distributed better on her. She has a small chest and broader shoulder and hips. She looks in proportion. In my case though, I have narrow shoulders and hips which means I carry the extra weight on my stomach and bust and it’s really noticeable,

Also, I lived in France for a while and it was noticeable how many shops offered an alteration service or there were many little independent businesses available which did alterations. So women always had skirts or trousers where the hems sat exactly on their body which suited them best.

And aside from things which everyone else has mentioned like polishing shoes and not having an overstuffed handbag; I think adapting your look to how your body and skin and hair changes is very important.

Life can get busier and more complicated as we age and people can get stuck in one style that suited them when young but is no longer flattering. You see it all of the time with hair styles, hair colour and overly harsh eye make up in particular. People get welded to one lipstick colour or shade of eye liner or hair dye and then never reassess or change it for twenty five years!

I have had an enormous reassessment recently because I have decided to go grey and all of the wonderfully autumnal colours that suited me before: dark greens, taupes, dark camels, golds, look absolutely terrible! And I am basically having to change my entire colour palette of clothing gradually piece by piece and it’s not at all easy to know what suits me now.

I used to look polished.

I had my eyebrows eyelashes styled/waxed/coloured and eyelashes tinted regularly.

I was at the nail salon every single week.

I was regularly getting highlights in my hair.

I was having my hair professionally styled for work and for dates.

I invested in my ward robe. Expensive suits, expensive shirts. I always wore heels to the office - always the same style but in different leathers and fabrics.

My living expenses were very low. I owned my own car, I lived very close to work (which was deliberate). I had a good salary but I only worked part-time.

I bought expensive products, expensive hair care and very expensive makeup.

I didn’t wear all of my jewellery (I kept it simple) and I would buy accessories regularly.

I went shopping at least twice a week. I replaced my handbag when it started to wear.

Basically, to answer your question, it’s time + resources & sleep.

Now, I’m an absolute yeti. I don’t have the time to devote to my appearance and I don’t have my own resources to spend. My partner used to love how I looked. It cost me about $40k to $50k a year.

I also had surgery and my lips done.

Mumsnet will say it's weight but its really not. So many polished people are classed as 'larger'. Its having confidence, trust in yourself as a person, keep clean, look after horn and nails and dont over do colours and patterns.

I bought this at £16. 100% silk, new with tags. Would have cost £140+ I think in the boutique near me.

Looking polished surely is also about perception as there is no universal definition for it.
I have always been told (maybe in the last 15+ years?) that I look polished and well groomed, and it made me really think about what people see in me to say that. Most days I don't feel I look good at all!
However:

• I am a size 8, petite, always been
• I wash my thin hair daily, in the morning, so it's always freshly styled (ish)
• I have a routine I stick to every single day: get up, shower, hair, little make up (eye shadow, mascara, blush, occasionally foundation)
• I dress in muted colours even if I dress casually. Most if not all of my wardrobe is black/gray/white/beige so it's super easy to coordinate my outfits.
• I keep my items (shoes, coats, etc) clean and tidy. Nothing crazy or over the top, but I take care of them.
• My nails are rarely done, but I keep them short, clean and filed.
• I always wear perfume.

Very nice. Was it a charity shop find?