A thread for those who want boho chic but end up looking like pigeon lady in Home Alone.

[spottybaghottyhag]

I'm very aware everyone on Mumsnet is beautiful, stylish and model like. This thread is for the outliers

I love a certain look online, but unfortunately boho chic on a model translates on the real me as homeless pigeon feeder lady in Home Alone. I've tried Aladdin trouser things (can't remember the name, I'm that far off the mark!), cashmere wraps (my teen DC said I looked like an old sofa) and a colourful, chunky knit that made me look like a wannabe circus performer. I'm not aiming to look fashionable or stylish, but something a bit more put together rather than eco warrior jumble sale shopper would be nice.

Can anyone else relate?

Glad I am not alone. My favourite Joe browns dress makes me look like frazzled, fat fortune teller not the boho seductress I had in mind.

Ages ago on this board, MNers requested there to be pictures with real people alongside the model, including a commentary such as
” this is what the ghost dress looks like on 55 year old Janet from accounts”

no hate, I AM 55 yr old Janet from accounts 😁

I love boho, Free People and Forgotten Tribes but reality is that it can be hard to look good in

i find it easier in summer when it’s warmer and I do not have to factor in wind and rain and mud …. It’s all too much sometimes

Joe Browns! Love it. Bought a dress , wore it once, felt self conscious , saw myself in a photo and I looked mumsy and pregnant instead of cool and boho….then immediately sold it on eBay 😢

I've spent my whole life dreaming of "wafting" in an antique silk kimono with my tumbling pre-Raphaelite curls and dainty ankles, an elegant Borzoi wafting alongside me.

The reality is somewhat different. I couldn't waft to save my life. I have swimmers shoulders, cankles, fine poker straight hair. Worse still I know a wafter! She has tiny delicate bone structure and corkscrew curls. When I stand beside her I feel like a Shire Horse.

I did exactly that with my only foray into Joe Browns clothing. It was red with ditsy flowers. I envisaged funky, the reality on me was frumpy.

I genuinely read fuck instead of muck and wondered what THAT look was like 😱

Howling at ADHD NHS -that's me!

I've literally just bought a FP vest and skirt on Vinted, thinking I'll look lovely in them in some field this summer, but in my mind's eye I resemble my willowy DD more than my gnarly, wizened self.

I look longingly at Joe Brown dresses, imagining that they will give me the figure I lack. I am pretty certain I also would look frumpy. So I continue with jeans and boots, avoiding mirrors and imagining I give off a rock chick vibe!

I have a couple of Joe Brown dresses and they look really good....just not in a care free hippy chick way (what I wish), more in a well turned out middle aged librarian way (what I got).

https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2026/jan/07/jess-cartner-morley-on-fashion-like-a-superhero-cloak-a-white-shirt-gives-you-formidable-power

Thought this was interesting and has challenged my thinking. Thoughts?

Have truly found my people! I've had so many failed attempts at boho. My beloved tie dye tent dresses look like well, tents. Any kind of layering of clothes looks wrong, especially when adding a padded wrap coat. Instantly tranformed to mad cat lady. Am definitely more tree stump these days than tall willow. It's like someone pushes the top of you downwards and the wide jeans/fitted top combo becomes one squashed cylinder shape, as you head into your 60s and everything you wear looks shapeless. As for long cardigans, suddenly you're 85. The long grey hair (which you thought was cool) is now frizzy and just adds to the madness. Never mind Suzy Quatro's Nan, I'm now Alice Cooper's gran if i dare wear a band tshirt /leather jacket.

I live the idea of a white shirt @ChristmasLightsLover but in reality
I'd have spilled my wine / coffee or brushed against some oil or mud or dropped my food or hthamuddy paw prints on that crisp white shirt within the first half hour. Then it would sit sad and stained in the laundry basket waiting for enouth other mistreated whites for a wash and then I expect it would need ironing so it'd likely sit creased in the wardrobe until it eventually joined the charity shop pile!

@gummywitch I'm happy to go with Alice Cooper's gran - I have the long, grey curly hair, band t-shirt and leather jacket 😄

This is me too! I do love a white shirt and jeans and have a gorgeous one that I never wear for these very reasons! But I can’t quite part with it because I still hope I will one day look like the Mayfair gallery curator 😆

@quirkychick There's a lot to be said for being a hobo rock chick! None of it good from my DH. More like rock chicken in my case though. Festival attire just looks awful on me these days.