A thread for those who want boho chic but end up looking like pigeon lady in Home Alone.

[spottybaghottyhag]

I'm very aware everyone on Mumsnet is beautiful, stylish and model like. This thread is for the outliers

I love a certain look online, but unfortunately boho chic on a model translates on the real me as homeless pigeon feeder lady in Home Alone. I've tried Aladdin trouser things (can't remember the name, I'm that far off the mark!), cashmere wraps (my teen DC said I looked like an old sofa) and a colourful, chunky knit that made me look like a wannabe circus performer. I'm not aiming to look fashionable or stylish, but something a bit more put together rather than eco warrior jumble sale shopper would be nice.

Can anyone else relate?

I've got to buy new glasses and I've been putting it off for so long I think I need another eye test. I work with someone who wears chunky framed glasses and looks amazing whereas I look as though I've escaped from somewhere 🤓

I think about someone on here years ago who said that they wanted to look like Meryl Streep in dungarees but ended up more Grandpa Walton.
I'm in my 50s now and I still haven't lost hope that someday something I buy will look like it does on the model.

@Ukholidaysaregreat , thanks. I have more than one pair of Crocs and have for decades.

Love that brand. I think slightly insane is probably my look most of the time🤪 As a mental health nurse, I like to think it makes me look approachable but in reality patients are probably wondering why I’m allowed out of hospital😜😂

I chuckled to myself earlier when I put my pink and red Lucy and Yak coat on over my blue top, green dress and orange cardigan😳 I really wasn’t thinking straight when I got dressed, it’s bad today, even for me🫣😂

Oh, I’ve found my people! I too wished for Boho but got Hobo. The ‘just travelled the Mid West in a carriage full of chickens in 1878’ type of Hobo.
Also, the same hair as Moth from the Salt Path but more sticking up sideways.

I secretly want to be a bit Goth. What could possibly go wrong?

@CedarCreek , You just need to find words that don't look or sound like other ones.

Soho Broth?

Im fairly enchanted with the sound of those Arabian Night pantaloons though.

I’m not sure it even involves expensive clothes… As mentioned, sometimes it’s just the vibe of the person. I knew a beautiful woman, a while ago… Dark hair, olive skin, no make-up, hair scraped back in a messy bun, Primark vest. She would have looked good in a bin bag, but she was a proper hippy chick, who really didn’t care. A totally organic look for her.

So, sadly, I don’t think we can buy it from a shop! The looks, vibes, lifestyles I’ve chased over the years… I’m ready to embrace my Cottage-Granny-Core-Cake era. The shops can keep their clothes, style, dreams! Magazines can tell me, but I’m not listening… Unless, Home Alone Pigeon Lady does actually become a thing! A bit like “Derelicte” in Zoolander, ha ha…

Also 5 foot nothing and look like I’ve shopped in Monsoon kids section when I’ve tried Boho in the past. I have got a couple of things from Maison Hotel which look good though - entry level boho.

Any fabrics with any sort of texture (as opposed to being fairly crisp and flat) make me look like a wookie. I’m not even particularly tall or broad, it’s bizarre.

I love the clothes that Zoe Ball wears, but if I wore them I'd look like an actual ball.

Oh you are my people.
I am nearly six foot and built like a brick shithouse, and so many boho looks are for petite slim women. I do try, but fucking hell I fail. Also, there are no warm, waterproof boho coats so everything kind of clashes...

I really like the boho look but don't really know what to try.
I have a couple of short kimonos from 100 stars which I love but I keep catching my sleeves on door handles. I'll have to concentrate.
I remember the Suzi Quatro leather jacket thread too and it was so funny, not cruel.
I love the look of a camel coat but I feel sure I would look like del boy or boycie.

@spottybaghottyhag you have such a funny (as in hilarious) writing style you should consider doing it for a living. Then maybe make so much money you could pay for a personal stylist
Love this thread

I have a tiny framed photo of her on my bookshelf. Such an icon.

Well I am in my 50s and overweight but I find the older I get the less fucks I give. I love the layering lagenlook vibe. Today I wore wide leg jeans, a knee length dress, and an oversized men’s plaid shirt. I looked like I’d been covered in glue and rolled through a charity shop in 1995. I know logically I must look a sight, but I love wearing what I want and not caring anymore!

Oh I'm here.

Also love the boho look, but it doesn't love me back.

I bought two tops, one being Free People, with the most gorgeous bell and balloon sleeves. Went out for a night wearing the most bell sleeve top, and spend most of the night hauling my sleeve out of my drink and my dinner. The state of it when I got home. Have you noticed that none of the models wearing these sleeves are having dinner in the photos.

I thought the FP would be so much better as that balloon sleeve has a tie at the wrist, so perhaps a bit more controllable and might stay out of my plate. Instead, I just kept knocking everything thing over. I am quite animated and speak with my hands. I thought I was a gonner when I set my sleeve alight from a candle on the table. I swear to this day I was not arm talking that close to it, but all the willowing fabric clearly was in full swing.

Expensive mistake there. I can't get the food and red wine stains out of one, and the other one is now charred.

Practical they are not.

We seem to be cut from the same cloth. I'll send you my billowing pantaloons, you might be able to reinvent yourself as a setting yourself on fire circus act.

A lot of these clothes look great on young models, but as you say, you look like mad old woman if you are over 30 and wear them.

I’d love to be a bit goth but worry I’d look too much like a female Robert Smith.

Tried to be trendy in my twenties and bought a short cape and three quarter length trousers. Caught sight of myself in a shop window - Dick Whittington. Last time I followed the fashion of the time too slavishly.

Why oh why did I not start reading this thread sooner!
Saw the word boho & thought no way. Another five foot nothing that used to be “ petit’ but now am just rugby ball. Every time I’ve ordered a “midi” dress I’ve looked like I’ve been hammered into the ground.
So daily it’s comfy M&S jersey trousers with a jumper closely intertwined with dog hair, it’s amazing how much extra wear & warmth they provide. Going out, making an effort, once read never throw anything black out, as fashion editors always wear black, I’ve been asked whose funeral it is.

Winter coats. I used to wear mid calf length fit and flare, slightly military looking cloth coats. But once I tried on a grey one with metal buttons, which I thought looked great, until my husband said 'You look like a sawn-off guardsman".

I'd still love to get a 1970s style flared skirted coat with frog fastenings and fur trim, mind. In purple.

I feel like I need I do try, but fucking hell I fail making into a badge or a poster or a tattoo, or all three.

Brenda Fricker appreciation post

https://www.msn.com/en-nz/news/other/brenda-fricker-makes-heartbreaking-admission-years-after-home-alone-2/ar-AA1STfqY