Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Funeral outfit - is this okay?

43 replies

OSTMusTisNT · 20/12/2025 16:39

Just trying to plan my outfit for MIL's funeral. (UK based so being warm is a priority).

Current plans are black shoes/boots, black trousers, smart cream M&S knit raglan style jumper and dark burgundy wool coat (blazer style).

I don't own a black coat and none of my navy coats are funeral suitable. Could buy a black coat but 1. Chances are it won't be the same shade of black and I hate the 50 shades of dark look and 2. What's the point spending money on something I won't get much use out of.

Does that sound okay? I refuse to be cold and if all the men get to wear a white shirt I think a smart cream jumper is okay for me but suspect DH might think that isn't suitable.

OP posts:

Wisperley · 20/12/2025 16:40

Will you be taking your coat off? If not, then just wear something dark under?

Mollydoggerson · 20/12/2025 16:40

Sounds elegant

Silverbirchleaf · 20/12/2025 16:43

Sounds fine to me. What does your husband think if it’s his mother’s funeral.

Sorry for your loss.

firstofallimadelight · 20/12/2025 16:45

I’d wear a dark top but the coat sounds fine.

gogomomo2 · 20/12/2025 16:46

Sounds fine, please don’t over think it, no need to buy a new boat but actually don’t worry about the style if you wear a navy one, nobody expects you to have a dress coat. Sorry for your loss.

BasilandTom · 20/12/2025 16:46

Sounds fine to me.

CraftyPlayer · 20/12/2025 16:47

Absolutely fine

SwedishEdith · 20/12/2025 16:48

It's absolutely fine.

Nancylancy · 20/12/2025 16:53

I probably wouldn't wear a light coloured top at a funeral - I'd probably go for something at least dark coloured if not black. Do you have anything plain and dark coloured that won't clash with the burgundy? If it looks smart though, then maybe just ask your DH what he thinks. I have worn a navy dress at a funeral before, with thermal tights. Would he tell you if he thought it wasn't appropriate?

Re the coat - I think as long as what you're wearing underneath is smart, I don't think it matters so much. I definitely wouldn't buy a new coat just for this. You'll be taking it off won't you anyway? Once you're inside/ at the wake?

Sorry for your loss x

Lifebeganat50 · 20/12/2025 16:56

Sounds fine to me. I see Your cream jumper as the equivalent to a man wearing a white shirt- not sure why people think you should wear a dark top.

Doubletroubledoubled · 20/12/2025 17:00

It sounds fine to me. Times have changed and certainly where I live funeral dress is far more informal than it was in years gone by.

HonoriaBulstrode · 20/12/2025 17:05

Sounds fine to me. Cream or neutral colour top would be perfectly ok at any funeral I've been to. But I know there are cultural differences in different parts of the uk, so depends on family expectations.

You could add a black or navy scarf over the coat and then over the jumper indoors if you wanted.

I certainly wouldn't buy a black coat or jumper just for a funeral - it's not something I would otherwise wear.

readingisallowed · 20/12/2025 17:13

There is no need to dress all in black at funerals anymore.
Your attendance is more important.
So sorry for your loss.

thedevilinablackdress · 20/12/2025 17:16

Lifebeganat50 · 20/12/2025 16:56

Sounds fine to me. I see Your cream jumper as the equivalent to a man wearing a white shirt- not sure why people think you should wear a dark top.

This. Most men at funerals I've been to wear a light coloured shirt, a woman can wear a light coloured top. Your outfit will be fine.

Friendlygingercat · 20/12/2025 17:19

People are always asking these questions on Mumsnet. Unless the funeral is for someone very prominent the trend now is that any dark or neutral colour or outfit is suitable. It doesnt have to be black/navy/gray or completely plain. The only things to avoid are anything too revealing or too casual (eg sports clothes). Younger people can get away with a more casual look because its recognised they may not have the income for a formal outfit. People will have other things to think about and unless an outfil is really bizarre they are not going to notice.

Poppingby · 20/12/2025 17:19

I think it sounds fine but I wouldn't be having a row with my H when his mother has just died either. If he objects because it feels inappropriate to him I would change it on this (and probably only this) occasion.

Mokeytree · 20/12/2025 17:25

I personally wouldn't wear cream and prefer it when people wear all black or navy. The dark coat is fine though.
I understand people saying they think it's fine above but as you already suspect your husband wouldn't be amongst them then I definitely think you should plan a dark top, he has enough going on without having to worry about what you're wearing.

RecordBreakers · 20/12/2025 17:26

Lifebeganat50 · 20/12/2025 16:56

Sounds fine to me. I see Your cream jumper as the equivalent to a man wearing a white shirt- not sure why people think you should wear a dark top.

I presume because generally at a funeral, the men will be wearing a black suit, and their jacket will be on during the whole day. They will probably have a coat on top as well.
If I've understood it right, the OP isn't wearing a black jacket / blazer on top of her cream top.

Not saying it is right or wrong, but it isn't comparable to wearing a white shirt under a suit jacket.

OP - if you think your dh (or even you) would be more comfortable with you wearing a black coat, then could you not borrow one from a friend? I'd happily lend a friend my funeral coat anytime I wasn't wearing it. I bet a lot of people have a black coat in their wardrobe.

TartanMammy · 20/12/2025 17:43

Having recently been to a funeral there was whole range of different attire, standards seem to be slipping or dress codes are changing. However I do think it's expected that immediate family will be smarter and more comforming.

What you describe sounds absolutely fine, except perhaps the cream top, should be worn with a dark cardigan or blazer jacket. For those saying it's similar to man wearing a white shirt, yes but men would be expected to wear a jacket or V-neck jumper, just a light shirt on its own is not okay.

ThatHazelSnail · 20/12/2025 17:48

I’d go for a black cardi/jumper personally but burgundy coat sounds fine. Nobody will notice/remember anyway.

clarrylove · 20/12/2025 17:51

Could you wear a black scarf with it? I think the coat sounds fine but not sure about a cream top, if you are going to take the coat off.

lostinchaos · 20/12/2025 18:43

How traditional was his mother? I usually expect immediate family to be smartly dressed and in dark colours, particularly if the person who you are remembering at the funeral is having a traditional church service and would have worn black when they attended funerals. I think the cost is fine but really a dark top would probably be more suitable with it.

AnneElliott · 20/12/2025 19:05

I think you need to wear what the family think is suitable - so FIL your DH and any siblings. But no I wouldn’t wear cream or burgundy to a family funeral.

Dearg · 20/12/2025 19:08

I wouldn’t wear bright colours, but I wore a cream blouse to my own dad’s funeral, and a red top to a friends ( she loved red)
I have the impression that colours are less important than showing up.

Your outfit sounds perfect Op.

DappledThings · 20/12/2025 19:12

It's fine. I've rarely seen anyone wear all black and I've been to about 30 funerals. Colour of coat doesn't matter. My only coat is a sort of purple meets duck-egg blue kind of colour. I'd just be wearing that and wouldn't expect anyone to be crass enough to judge someone for not owning a black coat.

Flip

1 2