Luxury budget - gift to self

[handbagsandholidays]

My husband has given me a significant sum of ‘spending money’ to go shopping and treat myself this weekend. I used to be an avid luxury shopper with great relationships in boutiques with sales associates but for approx. the last 2-3 years I’ve had other priorities so no longer in the loop with the latest collections/trends. On the rare occasion I’ve enquired about something I do like, I’ve pretty much been told that it is a wish list/popular/pre-order item which has led to no further follow up… I assume this is because I don’t spend frequently enough to entertain anymore 😬.

Please help with inspiration as to what I could/should buy on a luxury budget.

Budget is?

Sorry to be that person but if you’re married, surely the money was (equally) yours anyway?

If you regularly used to buy the sort of things that become wish list / pre-order items you must know what you’d like best. And I’m pretty sure you also know that for the majority of S&B posters spending more than £100 on a frock is obscene extravagance. You must have seen the handbag threads. Most would direct you to Radley. Only one in a hundred thousand will be able to help you compare different vintages of Birkin, or whatever. Why on earth are you asking here about spending (I’m guessing) thousands?

Anyway … What do you love owning and using?

My suggestion would be something from Phoebe Philo. If that’s your style.

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@TheBeaTgoeson1sorry I didn’t include the figure as I didn’t want to be accused of being vulgar etc- about £5K.

@ColdHenrietta Yes the money is equally mine but as I say, I’ve not really taken out the time or money for myself recently and that’s not gone unnoticed by my DH which is why I’ve been given ‘instructions’ and a rough amount for this trip. I did wonder where to post for advice - I used to be a regular poster to the purse forum which is a forum for bag/luxury fashion enthusiasts but for most of the reasons I posted explaining about why I don’t know what to buy anymore, I didn’t think that was the right place to post either. I ended up deciding here as Mumsnet seems to be one of my most frequented corners of the internet though I read more than I contribute! I’ve also seen a few threads about some luxury things like jewellery, handbags etc from time to time so thought there might be some responses from people similar to me.

I love handbags but currently don’t get to use all I have as much of my collection is impractical with a young child. I wouldn’t mind a handbag that is practical enough to use during this stage of my life but also nice enough to remain in my collection once my child has grown out of the stage where I still have to carry his extra bits and pieces. I’m definitely not looking to buy a vintage birkin and my days of being offered one from store are likely behind me now.

I like shoes but no longer wear heels and find myself reaching for creature comforts with better durability/less risk like Birkenstock bostons, uggs, sports trainers etc over my designer shoes. Jewellery wise - I have a couple of dress watches but these days i always either wear a bi-metal dress watch so I don’t have to change my jewellery or an Apple Watch. I like jewellery and once upon a time used to change my earrings daily but now, I change my earrings a few times per month if I have to for an occasion or event. I keep my wrist and neck jewellery the same.

In terms of fashion/style - I don’t have a particular style but would say I’m not very adventurous so quite classic in taste. It’s been quite cathartic writing this post. It’s made me realise that I’ve really lost myself. I used to love choosing my accessories and clothing, putting outfits together etc but now I choose all based on convenience and not having to think. I should perhaps meet my old self in the middle somewhere and maybe shop from my own wardrobe and use those birkins and chanel’s that are gathering dust in my wardrobe.

I don’t own any Phoebe Philo but will take a look. Thank you.

I would buy a lovely classic coat or pair of boots. Or both with your budget!

Okay! Very gracious clarification.

Do you do anything outside your domestic life? It’s very hard to choose lovely items that have no purpose. Travel, social life, etc?

If there isn’t anything I would think about changing that first. Do you have all the skills and qualifications you could possibly want? The most significant wardrobe upgrades / evolutions generally happen when forced by new opportunities - in my case university, professional qualifications and practice, mature study and a new occupation, semi-retirement … It might feel a little deflating to take home a fabulous new purchase and have nothing new to do with it.

I'd look into having something bespoke made. I've no idea what I could reasonably expect to get for 5K but I'd enjoy finding out.

I recently had a significant birthday, and husband bought me a piece of Dior fine jewellery, but something I could wear every day. The whole purchase experience was lovely, from the champagne offered in store, to the explanation of the history behind the piece. It cost less than your budget.

I also bought some absolutely gorgeous shoes from Nomasei that I'd been lusting after, courtesy of my girlfriends. Not outrageously expensive, but definitely a heart over head purchase.

For me, luxury is buying an upgraded version of something I already own. Or something that I want, but don't need. Like a €50 Dior lipstick.

What would I buy with 5k? A pair of Roger Vivier shoes to start with. A piece of Dior jewellery. Ideally in Paris, in store, with the whole wonderful purchase experience thrown in.

How nice! If I had £5k to spend on me I would likely spend up to £2k in Me and Em and get lots of timeless, well made clothes. I’d maybe buy a nice handbag like a Loewe puzzle bag or tote. And spend the rest on gorgeous make up. I’d spend it in no time!

At the moment, I don’t do much outside of domestic life as my time is filled with running errands for the kids or things associated with their lives rather than mine - by the time I’ve done those things, it’s time to collect them and begin the after school errands with the kids in tow. I had my children young so most of my friends are either still single in their mid 30’s or enjoying the stage of being in a stable relationship but child free. Most of my ‘hobbies’ are not really my hobbies and instead things like volunteering at my children’s school/sports clubs/local community centre tied in some way to their clubs. Social engagements tend to be things like going for dinner with the parents of the children my children socialise with or parent events at their various clubs. The more I write, the more it’s hitting home how much I have lost myself in all of this. I used to enjoy horse riding, travel and fashion in what feels like my previous life. Until last year I used to have a corporate job but I gave that up to be around for the children more as my husband works away/long hours often and my youngest was born premature so fell ill quite frequently and still does to a certain extent e.g I’ve just finished a 2 week stint of being housebound with him other than doing the school/sports run for the eldest. Without sounding ungrateful we have a cleaner who comes round twice a week but I still feel time poor in the grand scheme of things. I think what you say about feeling deflated and having nothing to do with a new purchase sums up how I feel at this moment in time as my husband bought me a beautiful top handle handbag for my birthday 6 months ago but it’s not left the shelf as I’ve had no opportunity to wear it as it’s too ‘nice’ for how I spend my days. I often feel like when I put on a nice bag and shoes with an outfit it makes me feel like I am put together even if I’m internally feeling like I’m falling apart/in a frenzy so there is some merit to choosing a new material item provided it’s one I am likely to use.

@GargoylesofBeelzebubI currently have 4 classic cashmere/wool coats in camel, black, cream and grey but could do with a new puffer style coat for the sports side lines as my current one is looking a little worse for wear and definitely not glamorous as it’s just one of those long line oversized Barbour puffer coats. A new pair of boots also sounds very practical and long lasting whilst also fitting with my current lifestyle. Thank you for the suggestion. Do you have any recommendations for a particular style that would stand the test of time, still be trendy and feel elevated whilst doing the relatively mundane tasks of daily life?

Are you interested in knitwear? I really have a weakness for brands like Slow Love. hand knitted, ethical, modern and will last a lifetime.

-Ole lynggaard creoles ring or earrings. Or vintage Bulgari.

-vintage Hermes bolide or plume bag, I much favour vintage to current ones.

@queenofarles oh yes vintage Bulgari is amazing

If you don’t have a need for a bag right now I’d spend that on jewellery

I’d get some bespoke jewellery made. I know value isn’t a priority but you will get much better value and quality if you go bespoke rather than buying branded.

I had two pairs of earrings handmade for me by Karl Karter at London Rocks (in Hatton Garden). We designed them together so they’re completely unique to me. I ended up with two pairs as I fell in love with two of the designs we came up with and couldn’t choose between the two. I chose the stones with him, everything. Karl is incredibly talented (and an all round top bloke!) and started out his career at Graff but now runs his own business London Rocks. I can’t recommend him highly enough! (Note: I have no connection, this is just personal experience - I used to work nearby which is how I found him).

https://www.londonrocksjewellery.co.uk/

I love your outlook of luxury being an upgraded version of something you already own. I don’t really wear make up but of the few items I use, Dior lip balm and lip glow oil are my favourites. If I consider the bags I currently use most often I realise I reach for black items as they go with most things including the puffer jacket I spend a lot of time in! 🤣

Of my black bags I use a LV pochette Felicie for days where I am running quick errands, Medium Bottega Andiamo if I’m wearing jeans as it feels a little more formal yet still slouchy and casual enough to dress down plus it’s really easy to throw things into, a small Prada nylon crossbody bag for rainy days and a Chanel wallet on chain when I feel like I’ve worn the pochette felicie too much! The LV feels quite busy with the embossed monogram but I never have to worry about it getting ruined as it’s really robust.

When I do choose something other than black, I usually pick a pop colour mini Chanel so I can stay hands free and choose matching coloured shoes to make my boring outfits look a bit more interesting.

Your Dior experience sounds amazing! Congratulations on your purchase. What piece of jewellery did you choose? Maybe I should book a styling day of some sort to try and break this cycle I’m currently in and find myself again. I’ve never used a service like that before but it sounds quite appealing to have somebody guide me as I feel like I will probably faff and fluster if left on my own.

A shopping trip to Paris would be a dream if we could arrange childcare. It is our 20 year dating anniversary in a few months (though we have been married for 16 years) and we used to spend many weekends in Paris before we had our youngest. I may suggest we try to arrange childcare and see if we can do a short child-free trip. I think I would be happy with a whistle stop bakery tour of Paris never mind the boutiques!

@thedogdaysareover51Do you have a puzzle bag? If so, how do you find the getting in and out of it? I have always admired the shape but wondered about the practicality of it. I have a LV Speedy from 15 years ago but rarely use it now due to the barrel shape (and the damier print which I’ve slightly fallen out of love with). I found myself browsing the online boutiques this morning and came across the Celine lulu which looks to have a slouchy, throw over your shoulder kind of feel similar to the BV andiamo.

@AConI do love knitwear but have found that I tend not to buy very expensive knitwear due to wanting to lose weight and stabilise my body shape/size. It’s been a very slow process of weight loss for me and whilst I probably sound very frivolous with some of the things I’ve said, I generally try not to buy things that I don’t see myself still wearing in 10 years time. With coats, I usually buy my median size so that if i gain weight, I can still wear them with fewer layers and if I lose weight, I can layer underneath and still make use of them. I’ve not looked at slow love so unsure of the pricing but will take a look! Thank you for the suggestion.

@HundredMilesAnHour@queenofarles@FloismeA pair of bespoke everyday earrings is a really good suggestion too. The pair I currently wear most days is the Cartier trinity hoops - for the reason that they are small enough to be practical but large enough to see I have something on and are mixed metal so don’t require any thought as to whether they go with what the rest of me is wearing!

I just wanted to say thank you to each of you who has replied to my thread. I know there are much bigger issues in the world right now but it’s been really nice to reflect on some of the things I once enjoyed and I’m starting to feel inspired in a slightly selfish way that I’ve not been in a very long time.

@handbagsandholidays I have been thinking of getting the trinity hoops. What size do you have?

@AConI have just had a look at slow love!! The sizing and pricing is brilliant in terms of offering versatility. I will be purchasing the essential handknit jumper 😍

I have the classic model hoops - I considered purchasing the studs a couple of years ago but felt like they didn’t look/feel substantial when on. I really like the hoops and they don’t look out of place irrespective of whether I have worn them to dinner or on the school run. They were a great investment in terms of cost per wear.

@handbagsandholidaysI do not have a puzzle bag but would really love one. My friend has the puzzle tote and I think I like that even more than the classic puzzle. Very easy to get in and out of and half the price!

@handbagsandholidays i have a small puzzle and it is my most used bag. No access issues

I would probably buy a Van Cleef and Arpels necklace with part of it.
Also bearing in mind your lifestyle, you cant go wrong with a good size Mulberry bag, for chucking bits in. At the moment I am also having some existing jewellery changed. Lastly I would round it off with something from Me & Em and an afternoon in the Spa at Claridges on my own !

What about a Lowe puzzle bag? It’s been around over ten years and still in style with the crossbody strap making it practical. https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-gb/shop/product/loewe/bags/shoulder-bags/puzzle-edge-small-textured-leather-shoulder-bag/46376663162983600?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GOO%3ANAP%3AEU%3AGB%3ALO%3AENG%3ASEAU%3APLA%3ASLR%3AMXO%3ANEW%3AWN%3ALOEWE%3ALV0%3ALV1%3ALV2%3AXXX%3A474%3ANEW-IN%3A&utm_id=22524472696&utm_term=3074457345630358821&vtp00=GOOGLE&vtp01=SEAU&vtp02=177502620365&vtp03=pla-2422161638612&vtp04=g&vtp05=m&vtp06=750707559035&vtp07=pla&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22524472696&gbraid=0AAAAADRhZnuSeXE4JhHbAQxNCbNX12aJ-&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7ema1qqDkQMVL4dQBh2-cwKhEAQYASABEgLohfD_BwE
A Burberry trench coat ? https://uk.burberry.com/long-castleford-trench-coat-p81190711

I am venturing to Harrods tomorrow with my husband so going to try on the puzzle bag as soon as many of you have recommended it. It’s always been a bag I’ve admired from far but never tried in person.

@OnesipmoreI have a guilloche VCA necklace which is part of my everyday jewellery and absolutely love it. I also have an onyx Alhambra bracelet and thought about getting a hammered gold or guilloche one to match my necklace and add to my everyday jewellery. Over the last few years I have seen so many with inspired designs that it made me decide to avoid it. A real shame as I genuinely love the design and will likely wear it once it stops being trendy!