What to wear-London afternoon tea

[Whentostarthrt]

Have been invited to a 40th birthday afternoon tea in a posh London hotel (not the Ritz!) in late November. I’m feeling it will be a little bit too early to go full Christmas glitz - what would you wear to give a nod to it being nearly Christmas without looking like you’ve jumped the gun a bit?

Completely agree. Not sure why some Londoners feel the need to tell others just how superior they are. For the record, I may be coming ‘up from the country’ but actually I lived and worked in London for more than 20 years, so have plenty of experience over the years of afternoon teas, fancy corporate dos and fine dining. The difference is that I can enjoy the fancy experience as well as appreciating a great Sunday roast in our local pub with friends. Eating in fancy places doesn’t make anyone a better person. And perhaps @JunoJuliaBravo, you have less worldly experience than you think you do, if you are unaware of the many many fabulous places to eat in the rest of the UK.

I've lived in and worked in London off and on for over 40 years.

I'm not sneering. I said it may come over as 'snobby' to some people and you've taken it that way.

If you misinterpret, I'm sorry.

Whenever any asks on S&B what to wear in London, people who know it well always say 'Don't dress up too much'.

Stop taking it so personally @Whentostarthrt
And maybe don't make assumptions.

Oh fgs. Nobody is suggesting a full ball gown. It’s been taken as snobby and sneering, because it absolutely is. Plenty of people in London like wearing nice clothes. Have you actually got any ideas for the OP?

Actually I think you were the one making assumptions. At no point did I say where I lived- for all you know, I could live in London at the moment. You were the one that couldn’t wait to tell me how ‘country folk’ just don’t understand how to dress for London.

If this is aimed at me, you're being completely OTT with your anger.
It's S&B not AIBU.

I didn't say I looked down on people dressed up. I said some people might look at people who they considered overly dressed up for afternoon tea.

Not me. I don't care what she wears or anyone else.

I'm not engaging further.

I would say that if some people might, shock horror, LOOK at people who they deem to be overdressed, and make a judgement about them, then the issue lies with those people and not the ones who have dressed up.

I wore a cotton dress with long sleeves and calf length with leather black boots underneath

https://www.meandem.com/super-soft-micro-cord-blouse-intense-red?glCountry=GB&glCurrency=GBP

I have been enjoying wearing this shirt recently- Christmassy colour but not the full baubles-for-earrings.

That is a beautiful blouse! Is it a deep pinky kind of red or more tomatoey? I really like the pink and blue versions as well. Might have to go and look next time I’m near. I also loved the pink silk one someone else suggested further up the thread but can’t quite justify the price.

Sad news on the pink Mint Velvet cardigan. It’s gorgeous but a bit too close to salmon pink for me, rather than the cool pink on the website. Gutted as it’s so pretty!

@Whentostarthrt Doesn’t work like that though does it? Majority view tends to count because we tend to notice extremes because they shriek “ look at me!” Tends not to be classy.

One day at Royal Ascot a few years ago I sat behind a woman whose hat was a beef-burger in a bun (with a slice of cheese) - made out of fabric. It had a stalk wiggling above it with a bottle of tomato ketchup attached for decoration. This was in the Royal Enclosure. You can either think that was a suitable statement hat or, what most would think, what a self proclaiming idiot wearing a bizarre fashion mistake (and that’s being kind! ). The majority were not wrong. The hat was not stylish or beautiful.

Definitely not pink but not really tomato either. It’s deeper than that (more like tomato puree?) The fabric is gorgeous.

Maybe it wasn’t either stylish or beautiful, but the question is, did she have fun wearing it and did she enjoy her day? That’s really the only thing that matters, not the opinions of strangers. It was obviously acceptable according to the dress code as otherwise she wouldn’t have been allowed in.

Oh I know exactly what you mean. It’s lovely. Might order it to try (my card is taking a bit of a hammering at the moment 😂)

@WhentostarthrtIn my view that’s not the only criteria. Or everyone might as well turn up in fancy dress or jeans! The point is to look smart but not overdressed. If everyone is laughing at your hat, are you really there to amuse everyone?

I don't choose my clothes based on what other people's reaction to them may be, @OhDear111 ; I wear them because they are what I want to wear?

I also don't keep the type of company that looks down their noses at others because of their appearance, although I'd certainly judge somebody else for doing so regardless of how 'tasteful' and 'appropriate' their outfit was.

And I would happily wear a burger hat, if I liked it .

I’m not angry.

A burger hat has naff all to do with the OP going out for afternoon tea.

I posted the pink silk blouse. That red one is gorgeous too. Me & Em is so expensive though.

Wonders how much a burger hat is. Are you tempted @Whentostarthrt ? 🤣

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Im actually quite tempted to find one to wear for my afternoon tea now, just to be petty 😂Might pair it with a sequinned skirt and a Rudolph jumper with a glowing nose that plays a jolly tune when you squeeze it.

Oof the Me and Em clothes are gorgeous. Wonder if they do a decent Black Friday sale…

🤣🤣🤣

No. The burger hat doesn’t relate to tea but it does relate to dressing suitably for the occasion. Some people do and others don’t but obviously they don’t care. The majority do though.

Honestly though @OhDear111 , do you really spend that much time worrying about what other people are wearing? Agree that it’s nice to make an effort, but I’m not sure why you would care so much just because someone’s outfit isn’t to your taste. Why would it matter to you (actually genuine question here)?

I also lived in London for nearly 20 years and although everyone says no-one dresses up in London, it differs hugely by area, and even though people may be 'casual' in some places, they do so with a very distinct and expensive style which isn't going to be replicated by reaching into the back of your wardrobe and pulling out any old shirt and trousers.

I've always overdressed though. I just prefer it. Nothing worse than trying to blend in and failing anyway, I figured, so I've always been happy to go my own path on that one.

@HighlyUnusual Yes exactly, my friends who stayed in London always look very stylish when we meet up (and will happily engage in a conversation planning what to wear for those meet ups). And my country friends also always look stylish too for a night out or just a pub lunch. Nothing wrong with enjoying clothes and having fun choosing what to wear (and even accepting that some people might judge you for your choices- but who cares about their opinion anyway?).

I’m not sure if this looks as expensive in RL but perhaps something like this (satin perhaps?) with a cosy knit or a blazer?

https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1310464004.html

For tea I’d wear a woollen or jersey dress and knee high boots or trousers (could be smart jeans) and a jumper. Definitely not “nearly Christmas” in November