Sick of buying uncomfortable bras

[FletchFan]

I feel like it's impossible to buy a bra that
a) doesn't feel like it's strangling me
b) doesn't dig into me (underwired especially)
c) lifts my D cup boobs enough so they don't look flat and saggy
d) actually keeps my boobs in rather than them congregating at the middle
e) looks somewhat pretty and flattering.

I have so many different types, and every time I try one on in the shop and think 'finally', I wear it for a day or two and the one of the above problems happens and I've wasted yet more money.

I just wish I could find a bra that actually fits and then just get it in several colours so I don't have to think about it anymore.

I've been to bra fitters, they always fit me in ridiculously tight bands that aren't comfortable.

Is it just me?

I'm almost tempted to get some type of tape as my current bralettes are fabulous, my boobs just want to spill out the middle and it's driving me nuts.

Thank you.

I think what I really need is something non-wired, but also my boobs have separate cups so they stay in place. I'm not sure this exists? The non wired ones I wear don't seem to have a proper 'middle' so my boobs just squash together.

Maybe even some kind of balconette style.

I've never understood this. If the band is too tight, the band is too tight, regardless of cup size. When sizing guides have indicated I should be wearing a smaller band size than I normally wear, I try them on and the band is too tight even if I don't even put my arms through the straps and the cups over my boobs!

I’m a 32G cup and wear panache underwire bras. I’ve been pleased with that make until recently when I’ve found that the hooks at the back dig into my spine - it gets really painful. When the hooks are done up there doesn’t appear to be enough padding behind the eyelets to cushion the hooks from my body.

has anyone else experienced this?

Triumph bras do this! I havr one of these. https://uk.triumph.com/doreen/10166213.html?color=0003_White It's sort of a bit old-fashioned in style, but in a slightly chic 1950s way, I like to think

There’s a Rigby & Peller in Harrogate.

I recently tried some from Celeste D’or and really liked them- they have some sort of jelly thing instead of underwire (which I hate!) so is comfy with a good lift. I will say their styles aren’t really aimed at separating the boobs though, honestly never something I’ve particularly looked for in a bra

Sainsburys do a brilliant cotton one for D+ (sorry don't know how to link) basically looks a bit like a crop top ir sports bra but double thickness and supportive,grey, black or white, only ones i wear since finding them 😌
Ps only about £11

Sports bras should be done under the trades description act. Absolute shit, all of them

It sounds like you're smaller than a 34 band, which means you might well be larger than a D cup. As someone who wears a small back and has a fairly large bust (30HH / 32H depending on brand), I'm very much aware that not all brands are equal on how they cater for smaller back / larger bust.

Some manufacturers just size them up and don't think about things like number of hooks or the width of the band. IME that doesn't usually work as the sort of fairly flimsy bra a teenager with a B cup is likely to be comfy in just doesn't work for bigger boobs for any amount of time & thin straps etc will dig in more, especially if combined with cheaper materials.

I suspect if you bought the correct band size and also made sure if was one with at least a couple of hooks to close / decently wide straps, you would almost certainly find these don't dig in as much. I favour Primadonna and Empriente but yes, they are £££. Bravissimo and Curvy Kate are both decent more affordable options.

Hmm. It sounds as though you have close set boobs that form a natural cleavage.

M&S do an underwired bra called Wild Bloom that works. I wear their Flexifit at weekends.

Go to a store and try on a variety of sizes. 32 C, D, DD, E and do the same with 34's.

I had that recently but cannot remember the make- I got rid of it in the end as I couldn't bear to wear it

I go to an independent retailer (near Bristol) and they always fit tight to the body. What I do for the first few weeks is use a bra extension thingy so my 36in bra becomes a 37in bra. Then once it's been washed a few times I stop using the extender as the bra has stretched.

Definitely found this - usually with brands that size up without also widening the straps, having more hooks etc. The band's the bit that's supposed to take the weight, so a thin band with a single hook doesn't cut it for me.

I accepted my future was 'granny bras' in my mid-teens 😂(although actually a lot of them now are really lovely and a well-fitting one looks better than a badly fitting one regardless).

But it generally isn’t. Because if the cup is too small then you can’t scoop all your tissue into it and some of it sits where the band starts, which makes the band feel too tight.

Recently bought a pack of three cotton underwired bras from freeman’s for £20. Wasn’t expecting much, they were just extras to take camping during the summer, but they’re the most comfortable bras I’ve ever bought.

Bravissimo

I can't stand the feel of underwires any more and have settled on this Conturve one for (as it says) comfort and support https://conturve.com/products/ultimate-comfort-wireless-support-bra - there's usually a few around much cheaper on Vinted where people have bought the wrong size, tried on once and not returned them.

This. Exactly this. If the cup size is too small then it will feel like the band is too small because your breasts are not in the right place and the band is unable to sit in the crease below the breasts.

If the band is too large then breast tissue will slip below the band and get trapped and it will rub and dig in - causing the wearer to mistakenly get an even bigger band or give up and go for a Molke.

The reason M&S now sell so, so many non-wired bras is because their fitters are shite at their jobs and because they hardly sell any bras larger than a D cup so they have to put people into a larger band/smaller cup and most women will be so uncomfortable that they will turn to the non-wired options truly believing that they cannot wear wired bras.

Seriously the moment someone says that they are a 'D' cup and by that mean that they have 'massive' breasts then I know they are in the wrong size bra. I am a 30D or 30DD and I have really small breasts. And a 36 or 38 B & C cup is achievable by many slightly overweight men.

Most women are wearing the wrong size bra...

This is what I mean:

A D cup without a band size is meaningless. I wear a D cup - on a 32 inch band, and I'm pretty flat chested.

I am surprised to find myself now a 34 E. I have quite small breasts actually. But apparently I was wearing a too small cup size for the last two years

You can get bras for a fraction of the full price on Vinted. And if they don't suit, just resell them. I was in a similar position a few months ago, fed up of uncomfortable bras. I bought three on Vinted and one of them was perfect (Elomi Morgan). So comfortable I can't feel it at all. I've since bought half a dozen in different colours, all new with tags but less than half the normal price.

Depending on your overall breast volume/weight, the bra can have different purposes.

It can be to cover and decorate.
It can be to shape and support
It can be to bear the weight.

If you need cover and decoration, the size doesn't matter, it can just nicely hang around your body.

If you want to shape the boobs, but are ok to wear their weight on your shoulders, you need just big enough cups, the straps will do the work.

If you need the bra to actually hold the weight and shift it from shoulders to your ribcage, the band has to be a bit tight to be able to do it.
The comfort of boobs sitting well on your chest and prevented/reduced pain in back, neck and headache is well worth it (for some volumes)

So yes, a supportive bra is a bit tight band. If the combination of band, cup and model fits well, it isn't uncomfortable and you would get used to it quickly, but it is still tight.

I’m a bra maker and I’m afraid you’re wearing the wrong size. The wrong size is never going to give you the support that you need or be comfortable.

if a smaller band isn’t comfortable/feels too tight) it’s likely that the cup size is too small. That will “steal” from around the band.

the boob or bust Facebook page is an excellent resource and will help you to find which bra style works best for your breasts. Some of us simply don’t have the right anatomy for rtw bras. I’d never have started making them if I’d been wearing comfortable bras all my life 🙄

I think you are wearing bras that are too small in the cup and too big in the band.