Anyone else really struggle with their wardrobe?

[Lagirl20]

Anyone else struggling with their wardrobe ? Or is it just me who is useless? i have been trying for YEARS (such a joke at this stage) to have some sort of cohesive, limited wardrobe (not capsule, just not hundreds of items) that suits me and works well together. I have so many lists - jeans, jumpers, t shirts, a shirt, trainers, one pair of loafers, couple of belts, etc. and I’ve done so much research, and shopping online and in person.
every time I buy some new item there’s something wrong with it. Doesn’t fit as I envisioned, doesn’t work with other clothes. I feel like turning my wardrobe around and buying things that work together should take a couple of months at most but I’ve been stuck in a cycle of planning, shopping, trying on, buying, hating and returning or selling online, repeat, for years. Jeans that fit well initially, stretch out, jumpers don’t sit right, T shirts never suit me well, etc. what am I doing wrong? I feel like giving up! I am trying to buy higher quality, and natural fabrics only, so I don’t think this is the issue. I can only afford 1-2 new pieces a month, which is slowing progress but I guess it’s better than blowing a load of money on stuff that I can’t wear all in one go. I am the opposite of effortlessly stylish. I’m not looking for trend driven pieces, either, I’ve given so much thought to what works for my body and what is classic (I am a UK size 10-12). HELP! Or at least make me feel less alone with my continual mess of a wardrobe, despite lots of effort?!

Why are some weird posters taking about a seemingly endless budget or buying ‘so many clothes’? OP said she can only afford a few items each month, so I hardly find that extravagant.

That being said I am a spend thrift and probably buy myself at least two new items a week. But can we not berate the OP for being too spendy? I think her spending on herself is completely reasonable and maybe she works hard for it.

There's a Facebook group called Style Me Happy Community which could really help with this, and an associated service to book an affordable colour and shape analysis (details via the group). It's really helped me figure out what suits me and kind of find my own style.

@Meadowfinchhave you looked at Hobbs for jumpers?

@fuckhimintheear, when I posted about "so many clothes," it wasn't at all the budget that was my concern. OP should buy herself nice things, if she likes, of course. But, given that OP seems to buy things that don't work, maybe far fewer purchase, all of which were "just right," would be better.
I have very few clothes (having too many makes me uncomfortable. I have a number for each item based on how much of my time I spend doing what how much at work, how much at smarter work events, how much at home, and do one-in, one-out) but I spend a lot. Budget and number of items aren't necessarily connected, as you note.
I think if the OP bought a new thing (or a thrifted thing) once or twice a week, her struggles would be much much worse. It would be even more confusing.

Oh bless you!! I'm exactly the same (although just one baby in so far!) - my uniform is definitely leggings and a hoodie - the occasional dress if I can find some that actually cover my bum 😂 😂

This used to be me. I used to buy loads but/and still be unable to look nice. I hate that, looking back over the decades of waste. I do not know how a person discovers their style. I fell upon mine by accident. However, before that happened, Marie Kondo became a thing, so I started clearing my wardrobe, and at the same time there was a fabulously supportive thread for people looking to curtail their shopping habit, and that really helped me to pause and reconsider why I was buying the way I used to buy. It helped me to completely stop browsing and shopping all the time. Recently though I discovered vinted, that's been a joy but has meant I am back to checking more often. So far I'm sticking within my style though and not buying repeats, I. E. Several versus of the same thing.

The thing I found about finally identifying my style is that I did have to learn to be comfortable with standing out a bit, which got me in touch with my teenage self - the time I loved dressing, and clothes became fun again. I'm not some outlandish or fancy dresser, but no one in my area or set dress the way I do and I had to become ok with that.

All of this is to say, if you enjoy clothes they can be a lot of fun, once you solve the personal mystery of how to find your style!

@Wooky073 what colour book did you use please? I need to do the same.

the colour me beautiful one by I think carol jackson. There was I think a follow on one I got too. I just got the ones available cheap on eBay / world of books. They were no more than £5 … way cheaper than colour analysis and it’s not difficult to complete yourself using the book. Yes the styles are dated but colours are colours !
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@NotMeNoNo where did you find your stylist ? Sounds like a good plan

Do you like brogues? I have bought some burgundy ones recently which I love!

@CallBackPlease, brogues actually would be ideal. I don't currently have a pair, but I do really like how they look.
Would you share which ones you got? Thank you.

On another note, the Falconeri sweater arrived. It was gorgeous but maybe too big... not sure. So I sent it back and exchanged for a smaller size. And if this arrives, and it is too small, then it will go back too and the search will continue...

Ironing, sizing up and accessorising can do wonder.

I iron all my clothes (even my tracksuit bottoms), I always go for oversized (I'm a size 6 so I guess that helps BUT I know that being put together can happen at all sizes) and I always wear statement jewelry and glasses. Sometimes I just put a tracky b and an oversized t-shirt but because its accessorised, it looks intentional (and it is)

Also, are you sure you don't look good? It's surprising sometimes how we perceive ourselves. I have a boilersuit that I rarely wear because I felt it wasn't a good fit, I decided to give it one last chance before it gets demoted to proper DIY workwear, and that day several people told me it looked really nice.

I have these. They are ridiculously comfy!

www.cordings.co.uk/deep-bordeaux-leather-and-suede-brogue-shoes.html?currency=GBP&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20571839988&gbraid=0AAAAAD-bq0FYPpNahOI_JuUD6QsE0fZxI&gclid=CjwKCAjwr8LHBhBKEiwAy47uUmyqbK8vO9r3nLjSIfCEe-73kNkNvpsco1ESifaNM3XuBUKQR35oOhoCWX8QAvD_BwE

Thank you, @CallBackPlease . I am going to order the burgundy ones. They do look really nice.

I have them in other colours too. I had to order a size smaller both times as they come up large for me. Not sure if that will be the same for you!