Anyone else really struggle with their wardrobe?

[Lagirl20]

Anyone else struggling with their wardrobe ? Or is it just me who is useless? i have been trying for YEARS (such a joke at this stage) to have some sort of cohesive, limited wardrobe (not capsule, just not hundreds of items) that suits me and works well together. I have so many lists - jeans, jumpers, t shirts, a shirt, trainers, one pair of loafers, couple of belts, etc. and I’ve done so much research, and shopping online and in person.
every time I buy some new item there’s something wrong with it. Doesn’t fit as I envisioned, doesn’t work with other clothes. I feel like turning my wardrobe around and buying things that work together should take a couple of months at most but I’ve been stuck in a cycle of planning, shopping, trying on, buying, hating and returning or selling online, repeat, for years. Jeans that fit well initially, stretch out, jumpers don’t sit right, T shirts never suit me well, etc. what am I doing wrong? I feel like giving up! I am trying to buy higher quality, and natural fabrics only, so I don’t think this is the issue. I can only afford 1-2 new pieces a month, which is slowing progress but I guess it’s better than blowing a load of money on stuff that I can’t wear all in one go. I am the opposite of effortlessly stylish. I’m not looking for trend driven pieces, either, I’ve given so much thought to what works for my body and what is classic (I am a UK size 10-12). HELP! Or at least make me feel less alone with my continual mess of a wardrobe, despite lots of effort?!

I think the solution to this question is finding your style. Something that after sixty four years on this planet has evaded me completely.

I'm not sure if this helps but I am drawn spammed by adverts for La Femme Wanderer. I've not bought anything from them (yet) so can't comment on the fit/quality but their Facebook posts are great- all capsule wardrobe looks that can be bought together i.e. you dont need to find items individually on their website. You can buy the one outfit as one thing. If that makes sense. Have added some of their FB pics which I've screenshotted for inspiration

I had this problem (still do to an extent). I saved for around 6 months and did a large summer shop and then a large winter shop. Buying ‘outfits’ at a time. I could buy loads online I liked, put outfits I liked together and send the rest back. I find it impossible to try and match one piece a month at a time.

Me too 👋
my work friends have work clothes and out of work clothes, I have a jumbled mess of general clothes. I spend ages looking at outfits on Pinterest, buy stuff, look
awful in it, cry, repeat.
New clothing in my budget is not great quality and while I’d love to buy higher budget stuff I can’t bring myself to in case it looks awful.

Ohh I could not written this post. I have no advice but if it’s any help you are not alone! If you find the magic solution please do let me know

I recently tried lookiero. I found it really good!! I said I wanted pieces for work and it found me lovely pieces I wouldn’t choose. I did struggle before that but I now just go and get a box if I fancy something new. I just found myself in need of a new wardrobe post having babies and starting a new job. If you’d like a referral code please DM me and I will pass one on.

Oh, and me! Plus I have big boobs. I'm a bit overweight, although not obese, but often feel so 'clunky' with the combination of height/breasts/weight. It is hard to get quality things in the right length and size. Drives me mad as I end up in boring tee shirts and jeans when I'd love to express myself a bit more.

@Lagirl20 I echo people who buy stuff you want to wear immediately. Also, i try and buy stuff i feel good/beautiful in ie i would wear on a date. Anything else and I feel like its too practical and I feel quite boring/dont reach for it

My stuff has inadvertently become very practical, quite blokey. I’m shortish and have put on weight so I’m a bit of a square shape. I am also very sensitive to texture so I wear a lot of super soft jumpers.

recently I have been focussing on nice jewellery because (a) it makes me feel nice and (b) it doesn’t stop fitting! I still do a double take when I see a photo of me. Especially when I thought I looked nice.

I wonder why you are buying so many clothes? Why are you buying clothes that don't fit or don't go with anything? Always try on in the shop before you buy. Take along the top/skirt/trousers you want to match with. Buy good quality. Doesn't have to be expensive. Put anything that you don't want/wear/need aside and either return to the shop if a recent purchase or sell online. Hope these tips help.

I am going to start steaming clothes before I wear them. Have got really slobbish about ironing. I do iron dresses and shirts, but that is pretty much it. Need to smooth out t shirts and tops, as it does make a difference. With the DC laundry mountain keeping them in clean sports and school clothes is enough of a battle.

I totally get this, sending hugs. 2+ years after pregnancy I feel like accepting my body will never be the same.

I have this thing where I buy something and really like it, but then I wear it for a day or a night out or something and end up really not liking it.
It's really annoying but happens all the time.

I fully sympathise. I have so many clothes, I don't like anything. It's partly peri weight gain (that I can lose but it just won't stay off without serious deprivation) and partly trying to have a more casual vibe post covid. I have big boobs and nothing sits right and I just look scruffy.

I have decided to go back to my pre 2020 style which was smarter and more tailoredc, but my body is different so it's taking some time.

Fwiw I have chosen a very limited colour pallet and 3 styles I like and I'm buying 2 or 3 pieces for each element of the look.

I like what I've got but it's still very hard to find exactly the right item.

My mother in law is the same, she always looks amazing. She turned up at my house today and I looked like waynetta slob.

I really don’t know how she does it.

Same here - I have 2 double wardrobes, 2 chest of drawers and various suitcases of clothes under the bed and another wardrobe of coats / jackets. I have been researching when I get a moment for how to narrow it down. I have ideas I want to do but it is mainly time to do it which is my issue. So every so often I just put items together I am not keen on in a bag for the charity shop. The problem I think is a few things - the uk weather means you need clothing for winter and summer (plus the seasons in between), for dry and for wet, for hot and cold. Then i have also had fluctuating weight so some items I would love to fit in again are stored in suitcases. But I have had them that long they are probably out of fashion if I ever got to wear them again. Plus now I am no longer young and zesty I want more comfort in my clothes - I won't suffer for fashion any more.

I am now doing the following

• only buying for my specific body shape (after doing lots of research on this and following some influencers / celebs who have my shape)
• only buying for my 'colours' (it may be BS but it gives me boundaries on what to keep / buy vs get rid / avoid. I bought one of the colours books second hand to help with this
• Attempting to capsule or at least consider combos of what I have that I like
• Only buying what i actually need (not just what catches my eye).
• Getting rid of what doesn't fit in with the above or what I dont much like (although it is taking a long time)

When I say get rid - I bag it up for the charity shop. I dont really have the time for ebay or vinted for selling but if I had something of particular value to sell i would for occasional items.

But I never seem to achieve what I am aiming for so its an ongoing challenge.

@Lagirl20 i could have written your post! I feel like I put so much effort into trying to have a cohesive wardrobe and yet feel like nothing is ever right.

I feel like I do have some challenges though. I am quite petite (although there are many other women my size) and so finding anything that just about fits is a challenge.

Another one here who feels your pain OP! Nothing seems to work for me, I used to find this so easy in my 20’s but I’ve lost it somehow. I did use the John Lewis style appointment and after trying on half of the shop the (very nice) lady actually said “I don’t have anything else to bring you”. She said I looked good in a lot of the outfits but they didn’t seem like me. I think I’m the problem and not sure what the solution is.. continue to wear jeans I don’t like with plain T-shirts forevermore. Good luck to us!

This is me. I really want to look a bit stylish and well put together but fail time and time again. I have a dressing room with (unbelievably) 4 double and 1 single wardrobes and 3 chests of drawers full of stuff I never wear.

I am quite short with petite proportions so odd things make items just slightly off. Like shoulder seams will jut out slightly even on t-shirts and jumpers, or straps will hang too low making a top too low cut, and don’t get me started on sleeve length!

I feel like I’m playing dress up in someone else’s clothes. Things that look lovely on other people look silly on me - tailored jackets or blazers, trench coats, biker jackets. Nope!

I am a size 8-10 so not overweight but I still look dumpy in everything I try. I wish I either had the knack or didn’t care! I am stuck wanting to look good but unable to achieve it!

Ohhhhh - I see! This is a moaning thread, rather than a how can I make things better? thread.

My mistake! 😂

Or at least make me feel less alone with my continual mess of a wardrobe, despite lots of effort?!

The OP did ask for solidarity.

I think a big problem with buying clothes is, as you explain in your post - you look at clothes before you buy them and then you feel them while you wear them.

Pay less attention to what things look like and more to what they feel like. It can be useful to pay really micro attention to this. Really notice yourself, with curiosity and without judgment.

Here's a tiny example: I know that I only wear trousers that sit on my natural waist. I may buy other trousers, and they might look nice to other people, but I will stop putting them on after one or two wears and they will become invisible to me as an option. Because I like it when trousers go up all the way and hug the curve of my back and if I have trousers that do that I'm always going to choose them first, to the point where I can easily feel I really only have those to wear. (I've got nothing to wear!!)

What else? I only want wool, silk, cotton, linen. The rest of it I should just get rid of. It's just wardrobe noise. I like deep rosy reds, mustard, woody colours: autumnal greens and oranges, navy blue, bright white, charcoal. I don't like low cut things. I don't feel comfortable in anything short or tight, but I'm happy to tuck in around my waist or wear a vest top. It's worth just noticing yourself: what do you like? What is sensory and pleasurable to you? What do you wear over and over and what are the features of those garments that are pleasing you?

As you've discovered, almost everything is a bit wrong, so it's good to find your filters and discard the noise. Then a single item will stand out to you, shining, in the shop, and it's much easier to go straight to meet your newest friend.

@Lanva i have a similar attitude

I know deep down what I like and what suits me, and I need to learn to trust myself on that

eg:

• crew neck anything I cannot stand so it is out
• midi dresses may have been the fashion for about 10 f&cking years now but always look crap on me, avoid and wait patiently for knee length to come back in fashion
• belted camel coats work for me, thanks to being 6ft, so stick with that
• wide leg trousers only look good on me with a very fitted top

i could spend a day in John Lewis and find nothing suitable (frills, puffy sleeves, midi length, all big no-no) but if I find a great pair of trousers I immediately buy 3 pairs 😁

Oh, this is so me too.
I just want some basic clothes that make me look vaguely human and not ridiculous. I can't do it. Nothing I buy looks nice on me, probably because I am slightly overweight and very pot bellied apple shaped.
I work from home and don't leave the house very much. But when I do it's so depressing as I don't like any of the clothes I have.
Dresses don't suit me. I don't know how to wear skirts and feel odd if I try.
I live in jeans. I can't find tops that look nice and tend to just hope that the weather is bad enough that I can wear a coat to cover myself up.
urgh. I have tried to get nice clothes.
Recently I went to a nice boutique shop and got excited that they had clothes that actually fit me, I spent loads of money, but then I realised everything looked frumpy when I got home and put it on.

SAME! The height and the postpartum-ness.

I am (used to be?) really into fashion and was always well put-together. But I haven’t quite figured out how to dress since having children. I like to look quite minimal and neat and everything I wear needs ironing. But that’s tricky with a 4yo, 2yo and a very vomity baby! I resent ironing stuff that’s going to be crumpled under a baby carrier and have milk regurgitated on it before I leave the house. Jeans aren’t that comfortable for carting everyone around and breastfeeding. So I end up wearing (practical, non-iron, quick-drying!) leggings - but feel like I’ve lost myself.

I keep my eyes jealously peeled on women’s looking fabulous, and I have lists of what I’d like to buy for when I’m no longer permanently attached to a baby. 💭