Not dressed up enough

[Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain]

I've been to 2 events recently and not felt dressed up enough (I'm 54) a bottomless brunch and an all dayer soul/funk music concert. I wore day midi dresses to both events. Most of the women there were in sequins, velvet, high heels.

Is this common not to dress up or am I not making an effort?

By the way I ordered this dress after the music event and some faux suede knee high chocolate Cowboy boots from Asos as I'd seen similar women dressed like this.

https://www.asos.com/miss-selfridge/miss-selfridge-sequin-star-sheer-mesh-maxi-dress-in-black/prd/203537053?_gl=1110cq1o_upMQ.._gs*Nw..&gclid=47c89d4e167d1835f256f5ada9e805dc&gclsrc=3p.ds#colourWayId-203537054

I can't be faffed with sequins at night, let alone during the day. They're itchy and sheddy.

I'm always either too dressed up or not dressed up enough at events. My style barometer is broken. However I have learned simply not to give a fuck. Because whenever I see someone at something that looks happy, clean and put together in what they're wearing regardless of the unwritten dress code, I generally think that they're the coolest person in the room.

So (even though I most certainly am not), I go for clothes I really like, and be cool.

That dress is giving off stripper vibes and with the cowboy boots will be a bit too tacky. I think you can do much better and classier without having to pretend you're 24 when you're 54.

Tbf certain women in Beckenham do give off TOWIE vibes even though they're south of the river.

I honestly don't think the dress is dressing up as it looks more like dressing down (worn on the beach in ibiza by an 18yr old), I want to say if you like it wear it but I would also make sure you feel good about it as it will either work or it won't.

I don't personally think dressing up is about dressing the same as everyone else, it's about finding your own style. The asos dress you have linked to has loads of other nicer dresses on the page below. Have you thought of ordering a selection in different styles and then returning what you don't like?

You need to find your own style. Copying others is bound to fail. Find some clothes that you love and wear those. Then you won’t care what anyone else is wearing.

The dress you have linked to op is quite extreme. I really like the one Newmeagain posted.
I agree that certain events tend to attract people wearing certain styles.
I do have both velvet and sequined trousers. Bought for Christmas events last year where everyone was dressed up.
I didn’t feel overdressed at all.

Don't wear what "similar women were wearing", wear what you like!

This made me snort 😂
Maybe the dress could work with a longer slip underneath (clutching at straws) but I think you could find better for £70. Agree with everyone else, find your own style.

I’ve turned into my mother. I clicked on the link the op provided and thought - you’ll catch your death in that

I love the dress but my tits and arse would fall out of it. Wish it had a better under layer.

Wear what makes YOU happy @Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain … and what’s comfy…

It doesn’t come with the underlayer 😂

I think at that age, what's the point dressing up? Smart casual, clean clothes are probably enough.

Yeah, quite right. 54-year olds are pretty much dead.

😁 I thought velvet only made an appearance at Christmas!

I like the dress you’ve bought and would wear it over a slip. I’m 39 and live in north London if that helps.

I wear esska chunky heels rather than stilettos.

I like getting dressed up, I don’t see the harm in it. Each to their own surely?

I like the dress OP and I can see it paired with cowboy boots…there’s definetly a luxe factor to some concerts. But honestly op do you have the body for it? It’s “leggsy/ boobsy” and typically most 54 year olds would go for one or the other on display not both. I also would like it with tight calf suede boots. Not pirate boots which tend to be looser at the top
and a bit slouchy

slip dresses are definetly a trending style. I have a basic black one from Ralph Lauren and I love it paired with boots and I can add or subtract a jacket or short cropped sweater. You could look for one with lace trim. Image for inspiration only as price point is 398$

you can wear anything as long as you wear it with confidence

I got the leopard print one from there and have had more random compliments than I think I’ve ever had in y life 😄

Shit, I didn’t get that memo. Scrambles to bin the hair dye, make up and expensive clothing.

you'll catch a chill in that frock and there's no way you can wear a vest under it!! Surely at 54 you understand that you are not the target audience for Miss Selfridge!

I mean, what's the point of actually going out of the house at that age? Never mind thinking about what you're wearing if you do so. Maybe we could instate some kind of over forties standard issue non-iron easy wash sack and some sensible shoes that fasten with velcro, have it all done and dusted.

I think sequins can be terribly ageing? Definitely the preserve of mums on a night out and really not current in the main. I'm sure you were just fine as you were OP.

Yikes

What’s with the mad ageist comments, there is plenty on miss selfridge any age can wear, not that dress granted though, however it’s tacky at any age.

Beckenham is really Kent. Kent is a lot like Essex culturally.

It's not what you would wear to a daytime brunch in London. It seems a lot for brunch in any case but was this really a very boozy thing, so more like an evening party but in the day?

But you can wear whatever you like at whatever age you like. Be casual if you want. They've invited you because they like you already. You don't need to dress differently to fit it to make them like you. They already like you.

However, IMHO that dress is not very nice

I am 54. To that event, I might wear a fitted long sleeve top and a long skirt with a split, possibly sparkly and then some stylish flats. Maybe statement dangly earrings.

I am 54 and love style and fashion. I have better taste now than in my 20s. I am not ready to give up yet!