Funeral wear 15yr old dd

[Passthecake30]

Can anyone help dress my dd - she doesn’t like flouncy, girly, frilly, flowery, tight clothes, anything that shows her chest or bra straps. She wears black bootleg trousers and black Nikes for school so I’m thinking I could just get her a top, something like a thick boxy T-shirt that looks smart ish? She’s a size 8 in places like new look, 5ft6.

edited to add, her favourite colour is pale blue if that’s an option. Thanks, I’m struggling with the headspace for this.

So sorry for your loss, OP.

How about a very simple shift type dress: https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/dresses/black-crepe-shift-mini-dress/p/919321601
https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/dresses/black-crew-neck-sleeveless-button-detail-shift-dress/p/936588001

Links from New Look as you mentioned it but most fashion shops have this sort of thing.

My condolences, @Passthecake30.

I’m sure no one would object if she doesn’t wear all black and doesn’t wear a dress.

Would she consider a smart button up shirt in her preferred colour - with maybe black trousers? Like this:

https://www.zara.com/uk/en/oversize-striped-poplin-shirt-p00975111.html?v1=470099301&v2=2546081

Black trousers with a pale blue T-shirt is completely acceptable.

People don’t wear all black to funerals these days.

I’d wear all black unless told it’s a celebration of life and wear colour or whatever.

otherwise it looks like no effort has been made.

a smart black shirt would be fine.

How about a grey for a top colour to go with the black trousers? Not sure if light blue is too light if it's not a celebration of life.

Blouse/ shirt would go with black trousers.

Smart jumpsuit might be an alternative.

Sorry for your loss.

That is a tough comment to say to someone who is obviously grieving, that not wearing black would indicate no effort had been made.

I don't think anyone would judge a teenager unless they were wearing booty shorts or a crop top or a neon colour. I think a child dressed respectably in black trousers and a pale blue top would be perfectly appropriate.

Sorry for your loss. In all honesty I dont think it matters what she wears as long as she’s comfortable.

Repeated in error

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/tops/black-striped-flap-pocket-shirt/p/917472701

As OP says she’s struggling with the headspace for it, I’m assuming she is a close relative of the deceased. In which case I think it’s fine for her to say that her daughter can be more relaxed about what she wears.

I agree that if you’re more distant to the deceased, better to err on the side of caution and go for all black. But if it’s your parent, then I think you are the person in the position to make a call about black not being necessary or not.

I respectfully disagree. It’s been the accepted norm in the uk for centuries.

Maybe it shouldn’t be like that. But it is. It’s a mark of respect to make the effort to look out mourning clothes and wear them - unless told otherwise of course for a celebration of life.

And I think many older people would wonder why the young person hadn’t worn black if she looks like a young adult.

Only very young children could get by with a blue top. So I would rather tell the truth as I see it than have them talking about the OP behind her back at a sad time that’s all she needs.

Most teens have black T-shirts if it’s the expense that’s the issue they are currently £5 in Asda

Black boxy t-shirt sounds fine to me, don’t think you can go wrong, they have them in H&M or Next.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su383578/668828

https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1292500001.html

I’m sorry for your loss😞
My teen dd has been to 2 funerals recently - wore a black dress to one, and her black school pants, school shoes and a light coloured smart-ish jumper to the other. I know that the partners and closest family of the deceased couldn’t have cared what she wore, and they’re the only ones important here.
Don't overthink it, I’m sure everyone will just be touched she’s there. And I never wear all black, just smart clothes.

I have been quite surprised at recent funerals that people wore everyday clothes. Certainly no-one in formal black. Black trousers and a muted top would be absolutely fine.

Is it quite hot where you are? It would be easier if a black jacket was worn, because a white or blue shirt worn with a black suit (or something that looks like one) would be completely unremarkable.
Generally though, I think that only very shallow and judgemental people would be so unkind as to comment on what a child wears to a funeral.

I’d have thought a pale blue shirt at a funeral was practically the norm for men so hardly a scandalous choice.

To be honest, I don't think it matters much what a fifteen year old wears to a funeral, as long as it's tidy and not glitter or neon. School uniform or anything subdued would be suitable.
Presumably she is going because she was a close relative of the deceased, so the adults she will be attending with will have other worries and concerns than what she will be wearing.
I'm sorry for your loss @Passthecake30, and I think you should just do what is easiest and simplest for you and your DD.....wear one of her own tops, borrow a top, or buy something cheap from the supermarket.

I’m so sorry for your loss @Passthecake30 💐

I think simple is better. You don’t mention if your DD has experienced a funeral before but the last thing I’d want my child to be doing is stressing over feeling uncomfortable in what they’re wearing. Funerals can be uncomfortable enough.

I think the black boxy t-shirt would be absolutely fine. Or something like this? Does she wear a cardigan for school?
a simple black vest under a cardigan would be smart enough and hopefully she’ll feel comfortable enough in it!

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/knitwear/black-rib-crew-neck-cardigan/p/906114901?srsltid=AfmBOopd90c4tuos5hSQowYlGw1juU3byZVRf3rUV0NROmi1PPRzb6QqmnQ&gStoreCode=1756

From your post it sounds like it’s perhaps a family member? I think it’s also perfectly fine to say that she doesn’t have to wear black if you are happy with that!

'Only very young children could get away with a blue top' is a ridiculous statement. Have you been to a funeral recently? No-one is head to toe in black unless it's a 'celebrity' thing.

Thanks all. It’s my mum’s funeral, and I probably should’ve stated that the norm in my family is for the females to wear black trousers/skirt with maybe a white top under a cardigan/blazer/jumper. Men generally wear a suit with the younger ones wearing trousers and a short sleeve shirt (sometimes pastel shades). We’re not ones to get dressed up (for anything) and it’s going to be fairly small. However my dcs will be seeing cousins there of similar ages that they’ve not met before so will want to fit in without being out of their comfort zone. My mum wouldn’t wanted anyone to stress. I’ll look at all the links now, I do appreciate the support.

These school uniform cardigans come out long and loose fitting IME if she wants something to go over her top. The teen sizes are huge, I'm 5ft 6 and a size 12 in ladies and wear age 15-16 ones for work!
2pk Girls' Pure Cotton School Cardigan (3-18 Yrs) | M&S Collection | M&S

Sorry for your loss 💐

My, then 13yo, dd wore a smart pink t shirt with black trousers and a black lightweight jacket/ coat.
At that funeral ppl weren't head to foot in black.

I'd go with black trousers and a smart white top

Her school trousers and a plain black t shirt sounds fine. A black shirt could also work and look a little smarter, but if she’s likely to wear the t shirt again that’s better.
What does she wear to school? Because if she’s got a white shirt for school that could also be an option, with a black cardigan or jacket over if she can borrow something- men wear white shirts to funerals so perfectly acceptable for a teenage girl I would say.