Wedding guest . . . dress opinions and do I really need something on my head?

[KatiMaus]

Hi guys, I'm going to an autumn wedding this year and wondered what the general etiquette is around wearing hats / fascinators etc.

I'd rather not, to be honest - I don't have a face for hats. The venue is a typical country house-style thing, but I have no relationship with anyone going (apart from MIL and FIL, whom I don't trust to guide me on this sort of thing), so I don't know what the expectation will be.

Also, what do you think of this dress? Does it look too much like something you'd wear to the office? I'll dress it up with some nice shoes, but I'm not generally drawn to feminine clothes (more a t-shirt and jeans type!).

https://www.reiss.com/style/su660288/f67627#f67627

I'm not drawn to that style of dress personally, but if I saw someone wearing it at a wedding I'd think, wow, that's chic! I like it when someone zigs to the prevailing zag😃

Definitely no hat though, and the fact you're even contemplating one makes me think you gotta think your accessories through carefully OP! It's a contemporary, sophisticated dress, but with the wrong styling yes it could look a bit Alexis from Dynasty.

It's a tricky one and out of my comfort zone! I thought COS might have the kind of shoes that would go, but they're all flats and I think the dress does need a bit of elevation. Reiss have put it with nude sandals with a slight heel, and that (or maybe gold or tan) could be a way to go. Or even white, like these from Camper
https://www.camper.com/en_GB/women/shoes/kor/camper-kora_sandal-K201739-002

That dress works for a wedding but is also very wearable for other occasions which is great.

Thanks so much for the feedback everyone - I really appreciate it.

The bad news is that I ordered the dress and tried it and it looks a bit of a mess on me, to be completely honest! 😂I'm a UK 10 with a relatively slim frame, so thought I'd get away with it, but unfortunately I'm also only 5"4, so it looks completely out of proportion on me. It's too long to be a midi and stops at the least flattering part of my legs, so makes my calves look stumpy.

Anyway, it's back to the drawing board!

The wedding invite didn't specify black tie or anything like that, so I'm guessing it's just smart dress. I loved the idea of a nice clip for my hair from a pp - will definitely look into getting one of those.

Ooh thanks - I love the green one. Given the disaster that my first choice turned out to be, I'll give this a try! ❤

Great. Good luck.

Oh the first one didn’t link properly.

Currently on sale on Brand Alley @ £129.

I like the dress. In fact I’ve just bought some sandals from boden which would look great with it - Google “Boden snaffle heel” - the conker brown would work lovely.
I’d avoid a hat tbh - I think fascinators are very dated now. I’d go with a lovely tortoiseshell effect hair comb or pin. French pins and combs are fashionable right now.
The dress needs good knickers unless you’re very slim…. Spanx nude colour are the best.

Argh just seen the first dress didn’t work out, but I like your second choice more!

They are hideous shoes

Love the dress! I don’t think a hat is necessary.

I don't think white sandals are a good look for an autumn wedding.

Hats are hardly worn at weddings now. I was at a very big family wedding recently and even the bridal party weren't wearing them. I saw one person wearing a fascinator but it disappeared fairly quickly.

The dress is OK and should be fine for an autumn wedding. It just wouldn't be a style I could ever wear.

I have to agree that those white sandals look awful and definitely wouldn't be right for an autumn wedding

The dress looks great! But I agree about white sandals - not at all suitable for an autumn wedding or the dress.

Surprised the amount of people saying no one wears hats at weddings. I’ve attended many weddings in the UK over recent years including my own, and many people wear some sort of headwear whether that’s a hat/fascinator/fancy head band.

For an autumn wedding, definitely go for either long sleeves or a dress you can easily put a jacket over the top (and therefore budget for a jacket as well if you don’t already have a good neutral jacket that will go well over most dresses). For this, avoid overly complex sleeves that won’t be comfortable under a jacket /will get all wrinkled and look strange when you want to take the jacket off later.

and learn from my mistake ruining some lovely navy pumps - not suede in Autumn unless you’ve got really good water proofing spray /are certain you won’t have to be outside (many old churches don’t have car parks right next to the door and you end up having to do a squelchy walk from the car to church and back. No suede or open toe.)

ive never worn a hat to any wedding I’ve been to and I don’t remember friends ever wearing them either.

i love the dress, I’d pair that with. Chunky navy velvet headband. The royals often wear them as an alternative to a hat, and if it’s good enough for them….

Great dress

Me too. Was at my niece's wedding on Saturday and everyone over 35 had on a head-piece of some sort (hat/ fascinator/ hair-band/ comb) and at least half of the younger women. A good few jewels in hair too, which looked lovely with the beautiful up-dos. I had a flat head piece, like a flat pill-box, and really liked it (I don't like fascinators).

The outrage at perceived sneering only works one way it seems.

There's been plenty of sneering at the op's style once she revealed it

Plus sneering at 'tank top' / 'don't forget your fanny pack' etc etc

@Puffalicious I am in my thirties and lots of women around my age and younger will wear some sort of headpiece. Including me. It adds to the sense of occasion!

I strongly dislike fascinators. No headwear is fine. Padded headbands seem to be popular still as a slightly more chic option.

The green LK looks good OP.

Dress is beautiful if you have the height and figure to carry it off.

keep shoes simple and add a black evening bag (TK Maxx) will be enough.

Sorry, should have said navy fancy bag. Definitely not an everyday one.

That is a gorgeous dress!

I have just been to what one might describe as a “well-heeled” wedding at a country barn style venue, 75% of the females of all ages were wearing something on their heads or in their hair. There were a few of large hats, some smaller hats, mostly fascinators and headbands, a couple of sparkly big clips. I wore a headband, it was the most appropriate thing for my outfit and did pull it all together. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with @KatiMaus I think the dress you have in mind is very nice and entirely appropriate with the right accessories.