Help dressing a very fat pear for work

[GorillaGlue]

Hi all!

Desperately in need of some advice. I have always struggled to dress for my shape- I am a very bottom heavy pear, with disproportionately large legs, very thick calves (almost as thick as my thighs) and cankles. There is zero definition in my ankles. Through my life I’ve managed to maintain my size at about 14-16 on the bottom with a size 10-12 on top- yes I know, very oddly shaped!

However, I am now post partum, a size 18 (at a push) pon the bottom (have finally started to try and reduce the weight) and a size 12 on top. I always put any weight on on my lower half. I am very self conscious about how I look now, and the heavy legs and mum tum are very obvious and bringing me down.

The problem is that I am due to go back to work soon and I have zero idea how to dress. I am now in a role where I will be on my feet for 12 hours at a time and I need some advice on how I can look professional and put together.

I was thinking maybe I should wear maxi dresses as these will hide my legs. But I am unsure what shoes will work with those? They have to look smart and professional but be comfortable and allow me to stand for 12 hours on my swollen cankle legs.

Any words of wisdom would be appreciated! 😊

That is a lot of time on your feet!

I’d prioritise comfort/support over style for the shoes.

The main thing for me when returning after DC was finding time to shop in places within budget and trying loads of things on. Also found some useful tips on body type online.

when I found some good items or a retailer that usually fit me, eg for trousers (hardest bit for many of us!) I’d later order online if new things came out that were similar.

Have you ever had any conversation with a GP about your legs? Because that’s not ‘normal’ and must surely have a cause - whether nutritional or constitutional.

Anyway - I’m not sure maxi dresses are a good or feasible idea for work. They’re unlikely to look professional. Trousers would be far better - with well made cotton shirts to give your silhouette some sharpness. (Or tops and jackets if your workplace is more formal.)

Looking towards A/W - do you have any boots that fit? That would make skirts an option, too.

From what you’ve described have you ever looked into whether you have Lipodema (not lymphodema)?
I agree with the person above in prioritising the footwear. I think maxi dresses can limit the shoe option but wide leg trousers won’t so much. Could you wear something like these:https://www.marksandspencer.com/pleated-palazzo-trousers/p/clp60726739?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share
then You can mix and match tops. Although the waistcoat looks really good and would draw attention to your slim upper body.

Thank you all for your suggestions :)

@Civilservant that’s a good idea about trying lots of things on. Since my size has gone up, I’m not entirely sure what works for me now, as previously I had a tried and tested ‘uniform’ almost

@Whomanity Thank you for confirming that my legs are not normal! I always thought this and did speak to a doctor many years ago but they told me I’m just fat and should lose more weight. I actually managed to, lost 22 kilos and went down to 65kg but my legs never changed in terms of thickness and ankles. At that stage I just kept trying to maintain but have fallen very much off the wagon since having the baby. Not an excuse I know 😂
In answer to your question, I don’t wear boots because they don’t fit up around my cankles and then I feel they highlight my calves!

@AmoungUs I’ve just had a quick google of lipoedema based on your suggestion and I genuinely think it describes me to a T! No real ‘cure’ though it seems, except for diet, exercise, compression etc so I’ll try! I like the idea of wide legged trousers! Would smart trainees work under those?

yes that happened to me, body changed a lot and I needed to find out what fit and looked OK right now. Within budget as I was hoping to lose weight (and did, when the time was right). Shopping was tedious and time consuming but it was good to feel Ok with what was wearing at work.

Relieved you’re not offended! Find a better doctor (not Dr Google) and insist on a proper diagnosis. Whatever the issue turns out to be, it’s entirely likely there’s something that can be done to improve matters. (Because women don’t count for the medical profession it probably would be a good idea to state that the condition is affecting your ability to work effectively.)

@Civilservant yes I agree! It’ll take me some time to get back to what’s normal for me (I hope I get there) but because I’ve been feeling so awful about it and nervous about going back to work, I think it’ll help if I feel like my clothes fit me and I look presentable, if that makes sense? I will be focusing on comfy shoes as a priority I think like you said! Thank you :)

@Whomanity gosh no not offended at all! I’m very grateful that you’ve mentioned it as I always thought well, maybe I’m just being a bit precious and I’m just fat and need to work harder. But the problem is that even when I was at my most lean and feeling really proud of the changes, my legs were still the same with ridiculous levels of swelling and feeling so heavy. So thank you :)
Thats a very good idea about mentioning the impact on work- hopefully that’ll trigger something.

@GorillaGlue absolutely trainers work with wide leg trousers. Better if they are neat rather than overly chunky otherwise you have volume in the leg and the foot. I live in wide leg trousers and Adidas Gazelles or some ancient Reebok ones that I wish I knew the style name of!

I’m also a pear and agree with the suggestion to try wide leg trousers. A higher waist might work for you. Be careful of pleats and pocket placement as these can make hips look wider. Boat neck tops are helpful to make the shoulders look a bit broader. I understand you don’t want to show your ankles - in winter possibly A line dresses and boots might work. For coats, I tend to go for belted designs. I’m also a pear shape and have very thick ankles, so I’m very empathetic.

If you want to wear dresses and skirts, you can also get knee high boots now specifically for larger calves.

Thank you! That’s a really good idea, I would like my feet to look as dainty as possible, I do feel
a bit like shrek with my chunky ankles and then huge feet 😂 The gazelles look good! Would you say they’re comfy enough for 12 hours at a time?

I feel your pear pain! 😂 Thank you for the solidarity and the useful suggestions! I never considered boat necks but that sounds very sensible and hopefully will balance me out so I don’t look so much like a long stemmed vase 😂

A pp suggested I might have lipoedema which may well be true as I have these awful awful awful huge fat pads around my knees, so weirdly, knee high boots never fit. It’s odd because my legs look like car park columns rather than having a leg shape iyswim. I’ve seen legs of all shapes and sizes and no matter what weight, they always look ‘leg shaped’ but this means I can’t even wear stockings or anything as there is no shape to hold them up.
sorry, not sure why you needed this much information 😂 but thank you for the suggestion!

Agree that palazzo are a good option, I’m a mid size pear and have recently had success with some cropped very wide leg poplin trousers - normally a cropped length don’t work with the cankle but these are so wide that they do.

You need to accentuate your slim top with a fitted top/blouse and you will look fab.

As a pear who’s body changed completely post c section I feel your pain but high waist and poplin are in at the mo and they are both very flattering on our shape.

You. Could also try a long poplin skirt with a nice top/blouse?

I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “poplin” quite so many times in one post 😂😂😂😂 it’s a sod to iron but does cover multitude of sins 🤣

Good luck op!

Depends! How are your arches? They are quite high arched (which I love). I’ve done a full day event in them and been fine. You could put a cushion insole in.

I do recommend trying them in store to check they suit your foot shape (Schuh have loads of colours but always more colours on the Adidas website once you’ve got your size).

If you’ve got smaller feet you might get away with the older kids range too - I got some green ones in the top end size which were about half the cost of the ladies ones!

Your description of your body shape reminds me of a TV programme I saw by Dr Hannah Fry (the mathematician) who was diagnosed with lymphodema after going through cancer treatment. I'm not saying that you have that btw, just that her physical symptoms sound very much like yours.

You should definitely go and see a different GP and keep pushing if you are just being told to lose weight. The fact that you did lose weight and the imbalance in your upper and lower body persisted suggests that there is something there that warrants more investigation. I know bodies come in all shapes and sizes, but you should be sure that there is nothing more going on, because what if treatment could help you? That would be great.

I'd go for a maxi skirt, with fitting top.
My niece bought sketchers sandals, they have a small wedge heel, very comfortable

Just to be clear, are you suggesting poplin trousers? 😜
Yes thank you! These ideas sound exactly right for me! I feel a lot more confident if I can hide my legs and kind of balance out my shape so will give this a go!

😂😂😂😂

I actually bought these recently in black - they come up a bit big and longer than on the model but they are so wide that my thighs and bum seem to have disappeared and they make even my huge calves, candles and wiiiide feet look small! I’ve worn at the weekend with a casual t shirt and to work with a tie back top!

www.newlook.com/uk/p/917761517?extcam=UK_SOC_APPPDPSHARE

As another sufferer of lipodema (specifically around my knees which have great wodges of fat of them which no amount of dieting will shift) I would say straight or wide legged trousers with a smart shirt (and jacket) are your friends for work. I spent years in a very corporate role in London and going ‘suited and booted’ gave me confidence, plus I could wear flat black shoes or ankle boots (for wide legs).

@SoScarletItWas the one thing I don’t have problems with are my arches 😂 But yes, I will go in store and have a look and see what works best but I liked the look of the gazelles! Thank you :)

@EmeraldShamrock000 Thank you! This sounds like a very chic suggestion. I’ll look into the skechers sandals- I’ve tried their trainers before and they’re very comfy although quite open to give so I find they tend to stretch out. Sandals may be a better option :)

I do envy people who can wear poplin in hot weather!

I recall summers in the South of France seeing women at least size 20 striding nonchalantly in those vast colour block Cos shirt dresses - not a hint of sweat anywhere near them. I, meanwhile (and then a size 10) dripped from head to toe and had to choose my clothes specifically to account for that.

@cheezncrackers You’re so right! If there is something like that going on and something can help me, I would love that! It’s very disheartening to spend all my time and effort dieting and exercising and to shift huge amounts of weight and see no effect on my lower legs. I do understand that it might just be my body and not a condition that can be helped but worth looking into! Thank you :)

@LouisaMayAlcott Thank you for sharing your experience. I agree, if I can look more put together, it’ll help with my confidence as well and your suggestions sound exactly right for me. Your description of your knees sounds just like mine! I’ve always tried to wear flat black shoes as well but need something with a lot of cushioning in the sole as my legs become very heavy and swell. Any particularly comfy ones you would recommend?

Also, If you don’t mind me asking, how are you managing your lipoedema? No pressure to share, I understand it is personal :)

These look perfect!! Exactly what I’m looking for. Although I am much more bottomly endowed than the model so hoping I can find something that doesn’t make me look like the rear end of a rhino 😂