Help dressing a very fat pear for work

[GorillaGlue]

Hi all!

Desperately in need of some advice. I have always struggled to dress for my shape- I am a very bottom heavy pear, with disproportionately large legs, very thick calves (almost as thick as my thighs) and cankles. There is zero definition in my ankles. Through my life I’ve managed to maintain my size at about 14-16 on the bottom with a size 10-12 on top- yes I know, very oddly shaped!

However, I am now post partum, a size 18 (at a push) pon the bottom (have finally started to try and reduce the weight) and a size 12 on top. I always put any weight on on my lower half. I am very self conscious about how I look now, and the heavy legs and mum tum are very obvious and bringing me down.

The problem is that I am due to go back to work soon and I have zero idea how to dress. I am now in a role where I will be on my feet for 12 hours at a time and I need some advice on how I can look professional and put together.

I was thinking maybe I should wear maxi dresses as these will hide my legs. But I am unsure what shoes will work with those? They have to look smart and professional but be comfortable and allow me to stand for 12 hours on my swollen cankle legs.

Any words of wisdom would be appreciated! 😊

Bless you 😂😂

I am also a bit of a sweaty Betty but my problem is more turning a shade a tomato would be proud of!

Another lipedema lady here. The fat pads under the knees are diagnostic btw!

I am not fashionista so be warned, but what I do is wear dresses with wide calf boots in Winter. In summer the new wide leg trousers are good. I find a scooped-front shoe looks better than one that goes higher up the foot. I also wear maxi dresses or midaxi with a wedge heel espadrille.

Skinny jeans were a dreadful fashion for me. Thank heavens other shapes are now acceptable!

My legs sound like yours - i have lymphedema. Painful and heavy - my feet are always swollen too.

I wear Adidas Spezials and textured/ crinkle trousers like these from Tesco Hey, check out this product https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/320627294/?icid=ghsandapp_ghs_pdp_share

I've also got some from Yours and New look.

These are good for work. I wear the with a tucked in top when I am slimmer and a waist length loose top / cardigan when I'm not which emphasises my slimmest point ( ribcage to waist). Something with a little pleat at the bust is good but not a long line top.

And you are not very fat. You've put on a bit of weight after a pregnancy which is completely normal and can be dealt with gently over time. Your body has just done an amazing thing. Give it time to recover.

Black Palazzo Wide Leg Trousers – Mint Velvet share.google/dTBWvW632y2uJgAVO

To be honest, it’s only been recognised as a ‘thing’ recently, like others I’ve been to the doctor over the years and just been told to get liposuction Now I’m almost 65 so just accept they are what they are. I wear maxi dresses and (mostly) trousers all the time so they aren’t on show.
one good thing though - I’ve recently made myself have swimming lessons which means having my legs on show when I’m not in the pool, but the fat on my legs bobs to the surface and I can float really well!

as for shoes etc, I now shop for Gabor or Hotter or go onto Simply Be etc who have really wide calf boots.

Thank you!! I have huge fat pads at the knees and have always been so self conscious of them. It’s so nice to hear that these might not completely be my fault!

Thank you for your suggestions! They sound very stylish and I will try and implement some ideas because I always used to stick to a ‘uniform’ of oversized, baggy clothing in an effort to hide my odd shape and I’m a bit tired of doing that!

oh gosh skinny jeans were the bane of my life! I never actually wore them because they just looked so dreadful on me so it’s a bit of good luck that a style that might actually suit me is in right now 😂

These trousers look exactly right for me thank you!
Do you find the adidas shoes comfortable with the swollen legs and feet?

I’m so sorry about your lymphoedema, I can relate completely to the symptoms you’re describing. It makes it very difficult in terms of mobility I find as you end up feeling so uncomfortable! Wishing you the best!

These look perfect! Thank you! I think you’re right and should wear wide legged bottoms and fitted tops rather than trying to hide everything in shapeless, baggy, oversized garments as that’s done me no favours, though I felt better feeling like nobody could ‘see’ what I looked like, if that makes sense?

And thank you for your very kind words, making me well up a bit ❤️ I need to remember that it took me time to get to this point and I have been looking after a baby and not just snacking but sometimes it’s hard, so thank you!

😂😂😂 I can just imagine you in the pool and thumbs upping people as you gently float by!

Thank you for sharing your experience! I’ve exercised a lot over the years and tried all the ‘get slim legs now’ kind of workouts etc but nothing really worked- you’re right in that it may well be a case of streamlining as much as possible and then accepting that’s how things are and dressing appropriately :)

and thank you for the shoe suggestions- will keep an eye for something my size!

Lipodema definitely sounds like a possibility. From the (admittedly little) I have read about it, the only really effective treatment is liposuction but this is mostly unavailable on the NHS.

Some other ideas to balance out your shape:

weight training to build up your shoulders

Tops and t shirts with detailed sleeves. Those tops with mini shoulder pads are good, quite a few about at the moment. Boat / slash necks as pp said. Strappy tops with wide, wide set straps. Bardot tops. Ballerina tops with a wide scoop.

Trousers and skirts that either hang straight or flare outwards from your hips, rather than anything that clings. Barrel leg or tapered (very current) would also be fine.

High waisted dresses with flared/A line skirt. Lots of these about at the moment happily. Maxi versions if you want to hide your ankles. Trainers fine with these.

These are all excellent ideas, thank you! I need to focus, as you rightly said, on creating a more balanced frame! Have you any experience of comfortable shoes that won’t accentuate the thick calves/cankles that I have?

For shoes avoid ankle straps and any trainers or lace up shoes that is cut too high up the foot as it will “cut you off” at the widest point.
i find Superga more flattering than converse for a plimsole although neither are supportive.
I really like Nike trainers for good width and support and good proportions. I wear TC 7900s in the off white and can get away with them at work under wide leg trousers.
For pretty sandals I find Menorcan style sandals flattering as they have a sling back rather than ankle strap. I mostly live in Birkenstocks though and love my Milanos which are just cut low enough on me and stay put. M&S have a copy out at the moment

Thank you for this :) I’m hoping to find some very comfy but professional looking trainers for work but some stylish sandals wouldn’t go amiss either! I think I’ve always made the mistake of wearing quite high top shoes, thinking they would hide my cankles without realising they were cutting me off at the thickest point!

I have lipoedema - finally diagnosed when I moved house a few years ago and went to a new GP. As soon as he saw my legs he diagnosed me ( I had only recently heard about it) and gave me a leaflet on it. At almost 50 and being a size 10 on top and 14-16 on the bottom with legs like tree trunks and a huge bottom the relief was enormous. If you look at images online you will see people who have it ,we have a 'bracelet effect ' just above the ankles and feet aren't affected and you will know I'm sure. Mine has not got any worse fortunately as nothing helps I'm afraid, I walk a lot and live in a hilly area and I swim but legs never look any better. I stick to trousers ( wide leg), maxi dresses and simple shoes etc ( ankle straps wouldn't go anywhere near mine anyway). It's not great and I'd have loved to wear dresses. My legs bruise really easily which is another symptom. I do feel better for knowing though and when I see people staring -i suspect hey think they're being discreet! I explain I have lipoedema and what it is. I think far more women have it than have been diagnosed. Hope you get an answer and all the lovely fashion advice on here is good.

If you have lipoedema you need to be measured for and wear compression daily for the rest of your life. This will reduce the size of as well as supporting your legs.

That's really good od advice to get measured and wear compression, sadly I've never found they reduced the size of my legs but it does help with aching , especially need them if on your feet for long periods

I wear Converse “ballet” style as they are low cut and so don’t accentuate thick calves & ankles like higher cut trainers do. They are not the most supportive though. I also wear a lot of flip flops as they don’t have the ankle strap that so many sandals do - but again they aren’t as practical as a result.

Forgot to add to my list of balancing out ideas - batwing tops! And always something that goes in at your waist (or a high waist)