I hate my hair so much it’s getting me down

[badwolf82]

I have wavy, frizzy, puffy, awful hair. I’m about 25% grey which makes the texture even worse.

I have tried every “curly girl” routine but my hair isn’t really curly enough for this to work well. It just ends up looking greasy or crunchy or flat, and diffusing it takes hours I don’t have. I have poured so much money down the drain on products that don’t do what I need.

My child was born just over a year ago and the postpartum hair loss was bad. It’s growing back well but I have a ton of short hairs and a sort of frizzy “halo” effect, on top of the awful hair texture.

I don’t have time in the mornings anymore for a lengthy styling routine so I tend to just straighten it but i’m starting to get heat damage even with heat protection products.

Today I had to go to the office with slightly dirty hair and so I just put it in a ponytail and used hair spray and a bit of hair paste to make it look smooth and tame the flyaways - within a few hours it was looking frizzy and shit and like I don’t even own a brush.

I look at my friends and colleagues and other moms at daycare pick-up who have naturally straight and shiny hair or properly curly hair and I want to cry. I feel like I look like an unprofessional ugly dishevelled mess.

I fantasise about cutting it all off but I’m broad shouldered and fat and nothing like a pixie. I would just end up looking like a cancer patient or a stereotype of a butch lesbian.

Does anyone have this kind of awful hair texture? Have you found any products or routines that work? I’m in South Africa but I would still appreciate any recommendations. Or commiseration.

Sorry on another message I suggested keratin but didn't see this. Ask for the more natural version. Or what about a hair Botox treatment?

Have similar hair and wear by a 10 in 1 product (includes heat protectant) called revlon unique one.

Still straighten or wave it but looks so much better and copes with humidity etc.

I'd also spent a fortune but this is a cheapie :)

I have hair like that, i wrap it briefly after showering in a very thin, old towel and then let it air dry with a bit of L’Oréal elvive miracle oil in it. I also have it cut into a longish bob with layers to encourage it to curl. That usually lasts me about 3 days, I might put a bit more oil on it of a a morning if needs be.
I dont have the will or the ability to spend time on my hair and I can’t stand the feeling of products in my hair so this works for me.

Your hair might be damaged straight hair if curly girl doesn’t work. Have you had your thyroid tested?

Hair oil is my saviour, just a cheapie I got from Amazon. It's also possible that your hair is too long for the texture.

Love your writing style op and laughed at the pixie butch lesbian. 🤣

Get it permed. Ether proper curls or you can get a straight perm. Either way will make it more styleable, if that is a word.

For the latter you might need to go somewhere that deals with afro hair. If you do go for this option then check with them first what state they want your hair in before they perm it.

Try joining a fb group for people with wavy hair. The products you use sound too heavy. Merwave may work better for you.

This sounds promising! Do you know of any specific brands? I have looked for formaldehyde free versions before but found it very confusing as some versions have other chemicals that basically convert to formaldehyde when heated so they’re not really formaldehyde free. It would be amazing to find a genuinely formaldehyde free version.

Its definitely curly/wavy. More wavy. But i feel like it is very damaged and don’t treat it badly. I haven’t had a thyroid test in years - i will ask my doctor to check again.

I’m 42 so I don’t think I’m younger! There’s definitely an element of envy and frustration though. I know I need to work on self acceptance, I just feel like my crappy hair makes everything else crappy because I look so dishevelled. I feel like I always have to dress smartly otherwise I look like a crazy woman without a brush in a tracksuit.

This is me. I feel your pain. Hugs for crappy hair.

I hear you , my hair looks shit every day I don’t wash it. Bought every brand of curly hair online and in store over the years. Horrible frizzy mess. What has worked as a quick fix is the clean girl pulled back into a bun and smeared with gel look, gets it looking straight and smooth.

Maybe I need to go back to cheap shampoo and conditioner! I haven’t used pantene since school days but it can’t hurt to try.

I wonder about temporarily embracing the need for a big hair cut. Something short and sharp, maybe with a vibrant color, that's easy to maintain with a wash and go approach.

I have similar hair to you. Air drying it with mouse looks nice, also curling it using the dyson airwrap has worked the best. Looks like a blow out, and stops it frizzing up. Straightening wavy hair never lasts long and makes the frizzing worse.

Kerastraight, but without the straightening element, your hair will likely be too weak for that. It smooths and adds weight to hair.

I have very frizzy hair and a lot of damage from years of over bleaching, heat damage and extensions. I recently started my “hair journey” to really commit to improving my hair. I follow Abbey yung on instagram and Facebook and she’s amazing and gives great advice on Facebook about products and techniques. She’s a huge fan of drug store products like Pantene and dove so trying out her recommendations won’t cost a fortune. It’s been 3 months and I’m seeing such an improvement, of course it will take a long time as essential I just need to wait on the damage growing out but it’s so much softer and manageable and not just snapping at the ends anymore.

I'm afraid that the only thing that works for my wavy / frizzy hair are Phillip Kingsley products which are £££. I can wash it and leave it to air dry in bunches and its soft and swishy. Its never had colour or heat on it.

Cantu and Mixed Chicks are also pretty good.

I've had a recent breakthrough with my curly/wavy hair...
Wash
Comb conditioner through with wide-tooth comb
Rinse
Put on microfibre turban but take it off while hair is damp, we're not aiming for 'towel dried'.
Comb product through with wide-tooth comb. For me, this could be cheap Pantene mousse, or Bumble & Bumble air dry cream, or O-Way fluid.
Then I use the Bounce Curl Define Edge Lift brush. This is key.

Total game changer, I now get smooth defined hair. Maybe not as curly as if I just left it, but much smoother and more consistent and 'finished' looking.

And still has curls and waves, win win!

Thank you, i will check it out!

Morning, i hear you, i have the most shite hair at times!! It's type 2a, B and sometimes a wee 2c at sections! It's fine, but lots, I'm taking biotin and I've got sticking up areas with new growth which is neither straight or textured it's just weird 😅
I don't use the CG method, I use Umberto Gianni products, shampoo and conditioner or Goldwell. I always dry my hair at night, then put in a high bun loosely, at the moment because of sticky up hair when I wear it like that in the day I have to Kirby the front 🙃
I really don't know what to suggest I'm sorry xx

Sorry that should say YouTube not Facebook! Check out her YouTube page.

I wish I could afford an air wrap. Maybe one day. They’re just so expensive here. I have a revlon hair dryer hot brush thingy which I haven’t used in forever so maybe i should try it again.