Help with DD thick frizzy hair (CGM not working)

[Lindtnotlint]

My 10yo DD has a tonne of wavy/frizzy hair. It is incredibly thick. (It’s similar to mine, but even thicker…). We are really struggling to make it look decent without investing hours and hours.

CGM seems appealing but really doesn’t work for two reasons

1. As soon as you apply gel or mousse her hair takes FOREVER to dry. Like it will still be wet after 12 hours or even overnight. It takes forever with a hairdryer/diffuser. For a while we left it wet overnight but she got bad dandruff because it just stayed wet.
2. It just knots and tangles up very quickly if not brushed. She regularly has a mat of hair, and the only solution other than a good go with a tangle teezer (which of course turns the whole thing back into a frizzy mess) or to wet again and wait forever to dry.

My current solution is to go heavy on the silicones, because it dries so much faster. It looks decent with a serum and a rough blow dry. Obv could do a more serious blow dry and straighten it more but she isn’t patient to sit for how long it would take (it takes 20 mins just to get it rough dry, and that’s with a T3 powerful dryer).

But it basically looks only part decent. It has to be tied back all the time. And she has a huge number of flyaways circling her head which can only be (temporarily) managed by a brush, which (ta dah) also adds bulk and puffiness and removes the semblance of waves/curls. She looks scarecrow like a couple of days after wash whatever I do.

my hair is similar and I have never really found a solution despite years of trying different products (CGM and every kind of serum etc). My best solution is silicones, dry naturally and then put up in a bun all the time. Hers is so much thicker that that doesn’t work (per above).

ideas? I feel like chopping it off (it is mid length down below shoulder but not super long. But EVERY girl at school has long hair and she might not want to be that different.

She is awesome and relaxed and basically sees crazy hair as part of who she is. Not at all vain. But I fear the trials we may face as she realises what others expect in the coming years!

Would you do a 12 week blow dry? It’s a saviour for me. But expensive

I use a little coconut oil on washed damp hair. Buy a large jar from health shop lasts years massaged it in and stops the frizz.

You could do keratin treatments, but I'd hesitate for someone that young, even the formaldehyde free ones.

What about taking her to a hairdresser that can reduce her volume a bit? I saw someone who had the bit above the top of her neck shaved really short, you couldn't see it at all when her hair was down (and it looked fine when her hair was tied too) and she said it was to reduce her volume.

Mid length below shoulder is a really awkward length for that hair type, I can almost guarantee it would look better grown out longer than cut shorter.
Also a microfibre towel, silk pillow case
, washing in cold water and expensive but I like davines products

Wash it twice a week, one on the weekend, so it doesn't matter if it takes a while to dry. Then you're just blowdrying once a week on Wednesday say. Use a hard hold gel on soaking wet, combed through hair. Pineapple it up at night and sleep in a silk hat. Don't brush it in the morning- bit of frizzease creme or similar and poss a v careful comb on just the roots if needed. That should keep it decentish for a couple of days, by which time it's wash day again. This is mine and my daughter's exact hair!

And yes, definitely don't cut it unless you're thinking pixie type cut otherwise you'll get the dreaded mushroom hair...

What are you using for CGM?

To stop frizz takes a lot of conditioner, no brushing and only using a wide toothed comb.

Look at only curls. Game changer

That wouldn't stop my frizz @AnnaMagnani , I definitely need some sort of product too. Which I know is against the CGM rules, but if the OP is also struggling with those rules, I thought I'd mention it!

It was a short version!

I'd also not let anyone near her curls who doesn't have training in cutting curly hair. Doesn't have to be a curl by curl dry cut but does need to be a hairdresser who really knows curls.

CGM never worked for me, I used to look like I'd been dragged through the hedge after it.
I ended up only shampooing twice a month and do a co-wash with some cheap coconut conditioner followed by something heavier. At the moment I switch between the Aussie stuff and Pantene repair and protect. Leave it in while I shower and then squeeze and rinse. I put some leave in Garnier hair food through the ends, wide tooth comb then twist some curls though the bottoms and use a diffuser if I don't have time to let it dry.
Once it's dry I sometimes pul a bit of oil like Fantasia frizz buster though the ends or some Loreal curl stuff. Whatever is close to hand.
This morning I used some Only curls products it's OK but expensive when I get the same result for less with other stuff.

I use oil sometimes just when it’s just dry and also every time I’ve washed and conditioned my hair (with the blue herbal essence hello hydration) and Shea moisture milk, as well as frizz ease. I leave the conditioner in for twenty minutes once a week. It’s helped a lot. Best of luck to your ds, it’s so hard!

The problem with CGM isn’t that it doesn’t work to make nice curls. It’s that it takes far too long to dry (if we pineapple overnight her hair would not be dry enough in the morning to go to school - it takes FOREVER if you add any gel or mousse) and that it gets too tangled too fast so needs to be redone constantly.

I think a cut is in order, focused on reducing weight not length (I agree it needs to be longer, I keep mine very long as the weight helps keep it sensible - she has been growing it out for last couple of years and it helps, though it is still SO frizzy around her head/scalp).

There's a range of products called ORS which I think are based on olive oil and created for black curly hair. I've found it suits my insanely thick hair which forms a triangle if left to its own devices! I have wavy and curly and straight hair which is currently keratin treatment smoothed.
The other thing and I know it sounds crazy but Avon skin so soft massaged through the underneath reduces a lot of the bulk. I was desperate when I thought hang on this is oil so it's worth a try. Then just spread the small residue through the top layer as it can look greasy if too much is used. Both of these suggestions are inexpensive.

If her hair is taking a long time to dry, it might be low porosity due to product build-up. I have type 3b hair and IMO the CGM is TERRIBLE for causing build-up - all that no-silicone stuff plus then the copious amounts of conditioner/products… I would use a good clarifying shampoo and conditioner, rinse thoroughly and squeeze out after the shower with a good microfibre towel, brush with a wide-tooth comb while still damp then add some mousse. It’s lighter weight than creams so should keep frizz at bay without weighing it down. Then diffuse dry. If the mousse is not enough to keep frizz at bay, try a lightweight cream as well - but start low, trial and error, and only add what you absolutely need. For a daily refresh, use a spritz bottle to dampen before you brush, so that you’re not brushing dry. Again, only add mousse/creams/gels etc as absolutely needed.

edit: I just wanted to add, please don’t use any chemical straightening/blow-drying on her. Curly hair is beautiful!

I suppose it depends on the type of curl/kink/texture. Mine is 3b and I’m not black. So for my hair type, I’ve always got on with any old clarifying shampoo, Garnier Hair Food Banana conditioner, then the Frizzease mousse and cream for wash day, and the Frizzease mousse and Dream Spray for refresh days. Heavier oil-based stuff would prevent mine from drying and weigh it down. It’s so interesting how different curls love different things I think!

edited to correct conditioner name as I thought it was Herbal Essences, but it’s Garnier. :)

Garnier conditioners are really good as is the treatment that comes with a box dye. My hair just absorbs oil especially if I put a bit on before bed, then in the morning it feels a lot smoother and hydrated.

Sympathies! I have extremely thick, coarse, frizzy hair. When I was little I hated not having the kind of hair that could just be washed and dried naturally and look socially acceptable. I hated the phrase "neatly brushed hair" because brushing made it even more wild.

The problem with straightening and silicones is they aren't great for hair health long term which makes breakage and frizz even worse. And the mere mention of rain and it's all gone to shit!

I hear you on the insane amount of time hair like this can take to dry with products in. I think I've cracked a method that works with this though, because I really do need a truck load of product. Happy to share if you're interested.

French braiding whilst wet?

I don’t know what CGM means, but I used Paul Mitchell leave in conditioner after washing and then placed my dds hair in plaits.

Getting it thinned out at the hairdressers regularly will help (I have thick coarse crazy hair) I have mine thinned every six weeks. Also get a silk pillow case, and a silk turban to sleep in.

I agree with this suggestion. I find it works on my curly hair and helps with the condition as it doesn't dry my hair out, or cause big knots like styling products sometimes do. You can also use it on dry hair (sparingly) in between washes.

Hi @periperimenonochips I'm not @lydialucy but also use coconut oil (my method may be different!) I wash and condition my hair, twist it up in a towel to blot off most of the water. After 5 mins or so I remove the towel and comb in onto place with a wide toothed comb. Melt a small pea sized amount of coconut oil by rubbing it between my palms, smooth onto to the mid lengths and ends (avoid the roots). I leave it to air dry and never use a hairdryer. I don't use a lot of the oil as you can always add more as it dries. This gives me soft defined curls. I have hair that is curly/ fluffy and just below my shoulders. Hope that helps 😁

@periperimenonochips
just below shoulder length.
I use just enough to make my fingers greasy then rub it into the top, and same again for the lengths until I feel its enough.
it is a bit trial and error at first but you will find how much works for you.