Should I let my 12 yo have highlights?

[Sparklylemon]

She keeps asking for bleach highlights over her brown hair. I feel like it’s a no she’s almost 12 and too young but all the girls now seem so much more grown up than me at this age so maybe I’m too old fashioned?!

Her hair is fairly thin as well so I’m worried it will ruin it.

33 year old here who started with highlights at 12. In my opinion I'd pick your battles. Hair dye isn't permanent (technically is but it can be changed again) I'd save saying no for the piercings and tattoos etc

It’s just hair and wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. One of mine was bright red at 13

No.
And no you're definitely not old fashioned. It's called parenting.
Why should young girls have to grow up faster?
Plus doesn't sound good for her hair.

No. She's too young to be so obsessed with her appearance. She can't afford it. She's a child.

It would be a hard no from me. As indeed it was when my 12yo DS launched his campaign for highlights. I just think it's unnecessary and expensive and you can't have everything you want.

I had lowlights when I was in year 6.
I come from quite a strict household as a child so I’ve got no idea how that was allowed 😂
I do agree with a PP though on picking battles, I’d say no to any piercings/tattoos etc.
My teenage step-sister has dwindled her poor mother out of a fake ID! She’s had a tattoo, been out drinking round the town etc.

My little girl is way too young to ask for hair dye yet but she’s already been told she can’t have a phone until she’s 11 and it’ll be kept downstairs at nighttime for example.

Don’t think she can get it done at the hairdressers’ at that age so if you allow it she would need to get it done at home

Why are people saying no to tattoos? You have to be 18 at which point parents don’t get to decide anyway

My 15 year-old step-sister has got a tattoo.
Her parents helped her get a fake ID and she got the tattoo abroad with the ID.

Almost 12 is a bit young, not least as it’s expensive and once you start it needs maintenance or the regrowth looks awful. Are you up for the cost and admin every 12 weeks.

I would hold off till 13 personally.

I got a tattoo at 15 - some tattoo artists don't give a shit.

Ha ha NO.

nope, she's too young.

It's not good for her hair, and it's expensive, needs redoing every few weeks,

& what her friends are or aren't doing is irrelevant, she's your daughter. You're her mum and you say no. So that's that.

It is absolutely ridiculous to consider for an 11-year-old in my opinion.

Apparently and I am not 100% on this, but my hairdresser says they can't do hair dye or highlights if the person is under 16. Same with nails,, acrylics, biab or gel. Sure lots do do it

Wanting your hair highlighted isn’t obsessed with your appearance.

I had a perm when I was 13. I wasn’t obsessed with my appearance. I wasn’t interested in fashion at all, I didn’t wear makeup or anything, I just wanted curly hair. It’s just a hairstyle, not a surgical facelift.

This is the case for some hairdressers. The products usually have the manufacturer’s warning they can’t be used on under 16s. The issue is around allergies, but in reality this can be mitigated by using a patch test. Statistically they are no more likely to be allergic to hair dye than adults are.

It’s just hair, get her the £5 highlights in the spray bottle that you then blow dry to have come out. It’s very mild and suitable for a tween experimenting with like John Frieda Go Blonder, or Sun in on Amazon.

Hairdresser here - we're not covered under our insurance for under 16s, it's to do with our colour manufacturer's safety guidance so do check before booking

From a Salon insurance site, Cosmetics Directives mandates that permanent hair colour products must be labelled as not intended for use by anyone under sixteen. These products contain chemicals that can cause severe, even life-threatening allergic reactions. Compliance isn’t optional – it’s essential for the safety of your clients.

This is also covered under the Health and Safety at Work Act 1974. Any salon willing to break this wouldn't be one I would want to take my child to. Plus it can invalidate their insurance.

Just google allergic reactions to hair dye/bleach. I will give you the TLDR but basically, no. Permanent hair dye contains PPD.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/hair-dye-reactions/#:~:text=Many%20permanent%20and%20some%20semi,most%20reactions%20to%20hair%20dye.

https://www.nhbf.co.uk/documents/salons-and-barbershops-code-of-practice/

I should point out that I patch test fine but when it is applied to my scalp I have a reaction. My hairdresser is aware of this, I have been going to her for 7 years. We know how to mitigate it because she is highly trained. She wouldn't dye hair on an under 16. It isn't worth her being sued.

If they do it all now what have they got to look forward to when they are older?

So she’s 11?

@BoredZelda At 12 years old it is! 16 probably not. 12 year olds are still dc.

Hairdresser would not do under 16 their insurance would not be validated.
If you use a box dye be aware it will probably turn out ginger which is okay if you were bleaching to put another colour on the top.

Highlights wouldn’t bother me but I’d make sure that dd knew that I wasn’t paying for regular highlights every x weeks.

So much drama on this thread.

Highlights don't need redoing every few weeks.

Regrowth doesn't look have to look awful, smudged roots are a huge fashion trend.

Highlights don't need to be bleach.

You can buy permanent hair dye that doesn't contain PPD, Google is your friend.

Unless the hair is already fair you will probably need a toner as well.

What colour is your dd's hair?

Edit as I reread your op, if you don't want her to yet then stick to your no. She can't have them done without you so you could tell her she can wait until she's a bit older.

My DD wanted this too. I initially said no then compromised with a home kit that didn’t contain bleach. She was happy with the results and then forgot about it and has never asked again, she is 14 now.