Should I let my 12 yo have highlights?

[Sparklylemon]

She keeps asking for bleach highlights over her brown hair. I feel like it’s a no she’s almost 12 and too young but all the girls now seem so much more grown up than me at this age so maybe I’m too old fashioned?!

Her hair is fairly thin as well so I’m worried it will ruin it.

Ooo I’ve had an education here! I didn’t realise there are age limits. Dd has fine hair I just trim it at home and it’s never even reached much past her shoulders before it needs a trim again. I think I’ll tell her the hairdressers won’t allow it.

Some of her friends already have things done to their hair so must be at home but they’re also into makeup etc and im also trying to slow those things down until at least a couple of years time.

Some Hairdressers will do it, my daughter is 12 and has had balayage done at a reputable local salon
no maintenance and it is very well done and looks stunning should only need a top up every 6 months we buy purple shampoo and shop bought toners to keep it nice.

My answer to DD when she made these requests always was “Absolutely. How are you going to pay for it?”

At 12 I allowed temporary hair dye & lemon juice. Later that year I did do a cracking balayage on DDs hair myself with a home kit, it did have bleach but didn’t wreck her hair and there were no issues with it growing out.

I have no problems with experimenting with hair, but it is the expense, I think they have to realise how much this stuff costs and that it is a luxury.

She is 14 now and desperate for proper highlights, but stupidly dyed her hair black a while ago, so she can’t 😂

She's 11, you can say no.

Messing around with at home sun bleaching products could be an alternative.

I’d say she can have them when she’s a teenager - 13. But that the upkeep depends on good grades and good behaviour.

win win.

I think I’d have probably said, ‘Ok but you’ll have to find a way of paying for it yourself’. But then I never had a daughter.

Can't she use sun-in and then have you have it all chopped off when it turns green (*like we did back in the day....)

*Or use hair mascara

Shes only 11 so my answer would be no. My hairdresser wouldn't do it at that age anyway.

Please don’t use any of these spray in highlights like sun-in, they’re so damaging from your hair, even more than bleaching it. A lot of hairdressers also then won’t work on your hair until it’s all grown out as it causes bad chemical reactions!

That's the view my parents had and my sisters and I used to buy those little triangle boxes of Harmony temporary hair colour or the little sachets, Shaders I think they were called.

No. She’s 12!

Mine had hers done last summer, at 12. She hasn't had it redone yet but we'll do it ourselves this time. It was a treat, I've been letting them put wash out colours on in the summer holidays for years, youngest has very bright blonde hair with natural highlights, eldest has mousy brown now. It can be cut off, was more of a balayage so not close to her scalp and looks less obviously grown out.

I'd be stricter with things like piercings, lobes only for mine - dd2, year 6, has a girl in her class with belly button piercing!

I'm 34 and have been having highlights since I was 12/13. My hair is absolutely fine.

It would just be the cost and upkeep i'd be concerned about. A balayage might be better if this would be an issue.

Too young. It’s expensive to keep up and can damage hair. I’d say she can get her hair coloured when she can pay for it. And is a couple of years older.

I wouldn’t do bleach. It does thin the hair in my experience

Maybe a little too young and bleach is not what is used these days, it would be a tint of some description. I remember begging for my ears to be pierced at 12-I was way behind some of my friends and remember being unable to sleep at night at how I wasn't allowed and my bff (our mums were also good friends) was allowed hers done at 11. I was absolutely enraged at the unfairness of it. I felt like a princess when I eventually got them done. As a PP stated, pick your battles. These days they only tend to have two highlights - at the front. Alternatively there are clip in highlights that may placate her. There's nothing wrong at 12 in starting to care about your appearance and young girls look up to older sisters and cousins etc.. and online influencing will undoubtedly be a present.

Agree with those saying don’t do it. Especially given your daughter has fine hair that doesn’t grow quickly. When she’s older and when her looks and hair will actually matter more to her as teenager starting to go out - she’ll thank you for taking care of it for her and not have listened to her younger tween self!

My DD has them done 2 or 3 times a year just to lift her natural colour. Pick your battles thus isn’t worth a fight

I would say I’m not paying for colours. She can have it for a birthday or Christmas present but I wouldn’t want to get into a routine of paying at 12 years old.

You’d have to bleach it to get it lighter

I asked my hairdresser (who’s young!) about this recently, and she advised against it at that age

Yes I'd probably get this too, I'm sure I was putting Sun-In in my hair around that age.

Bleach is very damaging though and I'd make her aware of that.

It's not a fight - it's just sensible parenting .

Sun in??? Omg no! I ended up with orange hair

I suppose if you start out auburn and way over apply it that can happen. But regular light brown hair shouldn’t go orange if you follow the directions.