No style

[SordidSplendour]

Where do you begin to find your sense of style? I find a lot of what I go for is what 20s me would have and it doesn't work with current me (30s) I also work mostly nights where no style is required but when anything comes up I have absolutely nothing and all the pictures of me "out" are in the same things as the last ten years!
What are later 30s, size 12/14 but likes arms covered, hourglass figure wearing these days?
I'm lucky with my shape but not my bare arms or legs so how do I begin

Just wear what you like and what makes you happy. Pick clothes you feel good in. There’s no style secret.

I buy things I like or think I like, like loud colours and patterns and then realize just because I like a colour or pattern doesn't mean I want to wear it.
Basically I just have no idea of my own style. I gravitate towards younger and cheaper things but would rather start eering to better quality neutrals and funk it up in other ways

Do you like dresses?
Jeans and Tshirts?
Chinos and cardigans?

What colours do you like?

I like dresses, tights and boots.
Midi dresses.
Tighter more form fitting things look better on me and I think this makes me veer towards things that cheap crap material. Lots of mom jeans and over sized tops in now which look awful on me

Why do people always post along these lines on this kind of thread when the OP is clearly asking for direction?

There are some really good books on this subject. I’ve got a great one that has lots of quizzes to fill in about your preferences, and then guides you towards what your natural style is and what clothes you should be looking for.

I’ll post the title later, when I get up

Oh please do! Reminds me of the magazine quizzes and I used to treat them as gospel 🤣

I saw this in M&S and thought it would be fabulous on an hourglass figure.

www.marksandspencer.com/round-neck-pleated-midaxi-waisted-dress/p/clp60727828#intid=pid_pg5pip48g2r7c1%7Cprodflag_New

Here you go! Style Statement

It is like those quizzes, yes. I think that’s why I enjoyed it so much

Gorgeous but my upper arms are a big issue unfortunately

This is a fairly common question on S&B, and one I had to ask myself when I moved to a ridiculously hot climate, meaning my usual style no longer worked, and I had to rethink what I liked to wear.

• Pinterest is great to start, put in something like "a 30-year-old size 12 woman's hourglass figure" and then start narrowing down from there. Save everything you like into a folder, then go back and edit. What are the common themes?
• How do you spend your time? The best advice I ever saw on here was picture your usual day (dog walking, work, school run, coffee with mates, lounging at home, dinners out, night in the pub) and then what would make you feel good or stylish at that moment. There's no point buying loads of fancy dresses if that really isn't the life you're leading.
• Equally, how much time and effort do you genuinely want to invest - so is a better answer a capsule wardrobe that just cuts through all the noise, or do you want to have an extensive wardrobe to play around with looks. For example I thought I wanted loads of linen in my hot country, turns out ironing in a hot country is crap, so no I don't want any linen!
• Clear out your existing wardrobe - do you love it, do you wear it - if not, get rid of it, vinted/charity shop/bin. Then work out what's missing - like I would wear those dresses, but I don't have the right shoes - so what do you need?

Honestly, I think if you even start with those 4 steps, you'll get much closer to knowing what your style is.

I’m going through the same. Have been having babies and not bought anything stylish for years! I found this site which is quite thorough and useful if you want to do a complete overhaul.

https://theconceptwardrobe.com/

I also read “Why don’t I have anything to wear” by Andrea Cheong. It helped me rethink my wardrobe and get rid of a lot I don’t want or need.

This is such a fantastic and thoughtful reply, NONE of my clothes go with my day to day life!
I have so many dresses long and short that have to be worn with a heeled boot for eg whereas my ideal day to day calls more for a trainer (but with a non active wear outfit!)

I actually have already done a huge clear out but I'm still a bit lost. It's made me fussier and a lot of what I have is very cheap unflattering material or ridiculous prints like I'm auditioning for CBeebies and just so not me at all!

Pinterest idea is really good I do find it harder when I add "hide arms" without it being a big hoody or oversized shirt though

I have to be honest I find that so many dresses and tops have puffy sleeves which just make arms look worse. I mainly go for cap sleeves which doesn't hide them but I find more flattering. Or 3/4 sleeves or rolled up long sleeves work well too

This type of sleeve looks OK - simple and not too tight on my arm
This looks awful on me - puffy sleeves just make my arms feel and look bigger
This can also work well - because it is a bit puffy but 3/4 so seems better

Agree completely!
I put on a dress with sleeves like the middle example last night for work and the whole thing was so shapeless on me it added stones.

I really like the first dress maybe I need to look at M&S I feel my go to shops haven't evolved in a long time!

I normally agree that ‘wear what you like’ comments (often posted with visible disdain) are spectacularly wide of the mark when someone is clearly asking for direction.

But I also believe we overthink this sometimes. I’m not sure whether I have ‘A Style’. I have certain clothes that I really like and, over time, that evolves into a completely different set of clothes that I like. I thoroughly enjoy the process, including the many mistakes I make along the way. Is that having a style? I don’t know. Does it matter if I don’t have one? As long I enjoy it, not in the slightest.

Thing is I actually don't enjoy any of the things I've bought as "me"
My home is colourful and quirky but it really just doesn't work on me

A few sites that get mentioned on here are curation websites too:

Collagerie is great for higher-end inspo

Newin.Style is great for high-street finds - especially if you can't be bothered to scroll!

And then Sheerluxe is great for general inspiration.

Hope these help!

I follow influencers with similar body shapes, and pick out the things that I like and that I think would look good on me. It’s been trial and error and I’m still learning to find my style.

What about something like a stitch fix or lookerio box? I’ve done a couple and had some really good bits from them. Some things don’t work and they get sent back but I’ve kept at least 2 items from each box. And they’ve generally been things I wouldn’t have picked up in the shop but I’ve loved once I’ve tried on.

Stitch Fix closed down in the UK sadly... Think Lookerio is the only one like that still running

You sound exactly like me 18 months ago op! In my mid thirties and dressing like a Cbeebies presenter with no idea what would suit me. I paid for a style analysis and capsule wardrobe shop and for me it has been such a game changer. I now feel confident enough to buy things for myself with a good idea of whether they will suit me or not. I can refer back to the style analysis whenever I need to. Appreciate that this may be out of budget but if it isn't I would recommend.

I am also a size 12 hourglass who doesn't like upper arms out!

I'm a size 12 hourglass too. I like close fitting long sleeve tops as I think they're flattering on me (either round neck or deep V neck), and looser fitting trousers (Levi's or lightweight dungarees are my current favourites).

I dont like patterns (on me) at all, or anything overly fussy - frills, bows etc. I like slightly different things, so I just keep my eyes open for brands I might like etc.

I don't have a lot of clothes at all, I'd rather have less that I love and wear them out.

Lightweight dungarees

www.passenger-clothing.com/products/meadows-organic-cotton-dungarees-black