No style

[SordidSplendour]

Where do you begin to find your sense of style? I find a lot of what I go for is what 20s me would have and it doesn't work with current me (30s) I also work mostly nights where no style is required but when anything comes up I have absolutely nothing and all the pictures of me "out" are in the same things as the last ten years!
What are later 30s, size 12/14 but likes arms covered, hourglass figure wearing these days?
I'm lucky with my shape but not my bare arms or legs so how do I begin

Instagram is good for style inspiration. Search for something like ‘30s mum style’ and it’ll get you loads of suggestions. Once you start following a few your recommendations will get more accurate. It also means everything you’re being recommended isn’t designer.

Great - and I don't mean it's great that you're not enjoying your clothes, that's a real shame. But for me, this is far more useful information than your size or your body shape or your age. If I were you, I'd make that the starting point. Did colourful and quirky clothes work for you previously? If yes, what do you think has changed e.g. you / your lifestyle etc?

I'm similar size and build and I've been living in these recently OP

Amazon Essentials Women's... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B092MJ5F9G?ref=ppxpopmobapshare

I have navy, black, the olive green, pale blue, red and a striped one. The medium will fit you perfectly - the quality is lovely and they're fitted but not in a tight, unflattering way. They're great as staple pieces and for a fellow fan of loud prints, they're fantastic with a pair of loud trousers or a patterned skirt.

I'm too old now to indulge my love of prints next to my face unfortunately. I've also got several long sleeved t-shirt style maxi dresses (mainly from ASOS) that I either belt to highlight my waist or use the hair tie inside the dress trick to create a waist and avoid that baggy, shapeless look that is not an hourglass' friend.

I also love high waisted cropped trousers or high waisted wide legs with one of the t-shirts above. Easy to dress up with wedges/heels or down with nice trainers.

So you’re late 30s - and planning to spend the next 60 years covering up your arms and legs?

What could possibly be so bad about them? Terrible scars / discolouration? Or are they just not quite as toned as those of digitally altered models on instagram? If the former I would hope you’d get as much help as possible to enable you to live with them. If the latter (and assuming you don’t have a physical disability that prevents any exercise) do something about it, if it bothers you so much.

Spoken as someone who will never get it. I have had lipodema since my late teens. I'm now mid 40s and have covered up my legs for all of that time. I have been a healthy weight and very fit for the vast majority of that time but lipodema does not respond to diet and exercise, my legs will always look untoned and way out of proportion to the rest of me, and shorts or skirts without tights just do not look nice. So yes I cover them up. And I don't judge others who do the same, whatever their reasons for doing so.

Not sure what you might like but as an hourglass who likes dresses you might consider looking at some vintage brands. They are usually very flattering to this shape, added bonus your style doesnt age badly like some fashionable items would.
My favourite brand for this style is Joanie.

Come now, @evilharpy - how can you possibly know what physical issues I might have? But this is the OP’s thread, and as far as I can see she has not mentioned any specific, incurable condition relating to her arms and legs.

I’m not judging her (why would I?) but it does seem a shame that someone so young would feel as she does about their body if there is something that could be done to resolve an issue.

I was just going to suggest vintage styles too!

OP your figure would definitely suit 1950s style clothes with nipped in waists. You could have long sleeved dresses, fitted tops with a pencil or full skirt, worn with a wide belt and a fitted top with wide legged trousers would look good too.

https://britishretro.co.uk
https://www.dollyanddotty.co.uk
https://www.thehouseoffoxy.com

I could’ve written this OP. I’m stuck in 2014 and crop tops, boxy shapes and North Face look ridiculous on me. I live in long sleeve black tops and straight leg jeans. I have no style.

I’d recommend looking on Instagram & then having a look through “what’s new” on Zara etc to get an idea for current trends.

Figure out priorities (mine is comfort & looking put together with minimal effort!) & consider your actual lifestyle (I wear casual clothes 99.9% of the time, regularly walk in parks & forests, am generally cold even in summer). This means for ME: drawstrings/elastic trousers, lots of layers, comfy but trendy trainers & a limited colour palette. The limited colours mean I can put outfits together very easily & look good. Next step is to consider trends. I like to add some seasonal trendy pieces & mix them in with my usual staples to keep it current.

I also dress along the lines of what @PuppiesProzacProsecco suggested. Buy pieces in one colour but really bright colours. Then you can match contrasting colours together quite easily and still be making a colour statement. All you have to do then is add in a bright patterned scarf or coat to bring it all together. I also like shoes or boots in bright colours

Agree with getting your colours and body shape analysis done. It's saved me so much money over the years - had it done in the 80's!

Have a vibe/mood board in your head. This summer I'm going Bridgitte Bardot style but adapted for the older lady (I don't like to reveal too much). Capri pants, French style blouses, a few things from Doen (yes it's American), Rouje. Last year I did Scandi vibe - ideas from Toteme, Roen but you can buy cheaper and Cos is similar but a friendlier price point. I had a cowboy phase after watching Yellowstone too.

I have basic rules that transcend any vibe - plain colours (except for checks), certain shapes that work for me, nothing too noticeable (sadly rules out M&S for me and the cut isn't right anyway), versatile pieces (office, home, leisure all rolled into one really). Massimo Dutti has great classic ideas and reasonable price point but fabric is not always great.

I was a goth/mosher in my teens and also embraced the emo style in my 20s. I don’t dress as extreme these days but my overall style is still a bit gothy/rock chick/alternative (I know that sounds pretentious, I don’t consider myself a non conformist or edgy or anything). I have tattoos, piercings and brightly coloured hair still in my 40s but definitely don’t take myself so seriously as I did when I was younger when I was very keen to appear different and rebellious. I just like the way this style of clothes look and consider myself an ordinary mother and 40 something.

Do you know what colours suit you, and what season you are?

I like the idea of having a vibe/look in your head first. I think mine is maybe preppy?

Take photos of yourself wearing the clothes you have and see what you think. I know that I can view myself more honestly than looking in the mirror. I use jewellery and accessories to express my style quite often. I also know what suits me now for example boat necklines rather than scoop ones, and wide leg trousers rather than skinny. I think it’s a balance between what you enjoy wearing, what suits you, and your lifestyle. Good luck!

Is a book published in 2008 going to help someone with their current style? I know people will say fashion and style are different but all style is influenced by current fashions.

Style is personal as opposed to fashion which is trend led and of the now.

Personal style is dictated by your day to day life and physical needs i.e.school run, office wear, want to cover legs and arms etc.

As an hourglass, you may find that separates work better than dresses. I'm pear shaped and belts are my one of my most used accessories. Working out your proportions and how to wear accessories can make you look instantly stylish. Personally, I like knowing the colours that suit me best. I'm a soft autumn, black and jewel colours make me look like a sallow corpse, bronze and moss green make my hair glow and I look instantly alive.

If you like wearing colourful clothes look at some of the colour wheel pairing suggestions such as complementary, triadic and monochrome. Say.Nikko on Instagram has a good explanation of what I mean. He also has styling suggestions for different body types.

Similar to you OP hourglass sort of lol. Used to be but since I had a kid my waist has thickened : ( and hourglass is becoming apple-shaped! Watching this thread for interest because it’s hard to find well-fitting clothes. In the meantime, I’m exercising to tone up and see if I can get back that trim waistline (got an overhang to deal with from a c-section to boot!).

I really liked that dress a previous poster put up (the one with the black and white stripes). One thing though for me is that horizontal stripes may make me look bigger in the boobs. I avoid all prints and stripes now. I like the posters that suggest neutral tones. That’s definitely how I am thinking too.

I hope you find your style, OP!

I like looking on the information on This Morning fashion. They feature women of all sizes and shapes. A lot of people show fashion and style advice on You Tube .I went to a style and colour consultant many years ago and had to take some of my clothes with me. I was amazed as on my way back quite a few people mentioned that they liked the way I had put my colours together. There are lots of books on colour and style but I found my session really inspiring. It has probably saved me a lot as I have a great range of colours that suit me. I hope you have a great time collecting your collection together.

I went to John Lewis a while ago and visited their personal shopping people. The appointment was great as I tried things I wouldn’t have tried-colours, shapes, etc. and it was great as there was someone giving advice who I didn’t know. I was looking for new work clothes. A load of shops do them so try a few. JL was great as it had a bunch of different designers, styles etc. maybe try something like that. I now look on vinted for those designers to keep the price down.

I am in a similar place. I like clothes I would have wanted in my 20s but now I'm not in that place anymore!

A lot of items I just look at and think I'd either look like a twat in it or it's too expensive. I can afford things that are nicer but my brain is also set to my 20s price range.

So I end in Primark leggings and a jumper and hating life.

I’m a similar age to OP and also felt a couple of years ago, like a previous poster, that I’d got a bit stuck in a cbbc presenter vibe. I paid for a colour and style session last year, which was really helpful.

I also love prints and colour, but I’ve found as I’ve got older that I don’t feel like I pull them off as well as I did when I was younger. So generally now I’m sticking to stuff in one colour, or stripes (I love a stripe!). I bring out a bit of playfulness in a belt (I’ve got a great leopard print one, and a gorgeous gold one), earrings (either quite big gold ones from the high street or quirkier coloured ones from Etsy), socks and bright trainers.

I also think the last bits of styling make a difference. I love a shirt tucked into wide leg or barrel jeans, with the sleeves rolled up and a good belt. So I’ve got a great yellow and white striped shirt, which I wear with either my gold belt or a bright blue one. I stick a vest or v neck T shirt under a shirt if it’s a bit chillier and I don’t want to wear a jumper / cardigan.

Having said all of this, I ordered a patterned T shirt from Sugarhill Brighton the other day, which probably is a bit cbbc presenter, but I kept looking at it on the website so I decided just to buy it. It’s a good shape, and I can probably do some nice layering with it. A few years ago I might have bought multiple versions of it in different prints, but now I’m happy to just buy the one.

Anyway, just some ideas / musings!

In your shoes, I would:

1. Work out what I need (e.g. what does a typical week look like? Are clothes needed for work, school runs, gym, dog walk etc)
2. Do an audit of what I have by category, and put clothes into 'keep, maybe or no' piles (e.g. underwear and shapewear, outerwear, knitwear etc).
3. Consider whether anything can be salvaged (e.g. by taking it to the drycleaners to be altered, new buttons etc)
4. Book an in-person colour analysis appointment with a stylist - also ask which silhouettes flatter you
5. Book a free John Lewis styling session (think they do a wardrobe overhaul session option, as well as an express service if you have an outfit in mind) - https://www.johnlewis.com/our-services/personal-styling
6. Follow an fashion influencer who is around the same height and body shape for inspiration

I have so many dresses long and short that have to be worn with a heeled boot

Well that's one glaring mistake. What dress only goes with a heeled boot? I pretty much only wear dresses- i own several pairs of flat boots. I don't have any heeled boots.