How to not look like a bag of hammers

[Tintackedsea]

I caught sight of myself in the mirror at 6pm this evening and it was Not Good. I'm all frizzy and frumpy and harassed. I don't feel like this inside. The picture of me in my head is professional and smart. The reality has made me quite sad. I was quite pretty in my youth and it feels as though I turned 40 and lost my looks practically overnight.

Much as I don't want to look like this I also Cannot Be Arsed. I am not going to dye my hair because I can't afford the time or the money. Losing weight is slow going.

Apart from those what is there?

I need easy fixes.

What do you do that makes you pretty post 40?

Tret
High quality coats
Big sunglasses
Good teeth
Eyebrow gel

Really nice boots and good quality lip gloss.

What do you wear? If your hair is going to look messier then you need to put time and effort into a simple, smart outfit. Similarly you can still look professional and together with a bare face but in that case you need sleeker hair and again a neat outfit.

I think lots of us get to an age where we have to start putting in more effort. I have to get highlights and stay away from alcohol. It’s not the same for everyone.

Wearing a jacket. Depending on your work you may be doing this already - but if not.

Go for a jacket - blazer / corduroy/ black / navy. Really doesn't seem to matter. It just pulls an outfit together and you can be wearing jeans and a t shirt underneath it and yet you can instantly look smarter.

You make it sound like 40 is the end, it's quite depressing as me and my friends feel like 40 was the turning point in becoming more confident and loving how we look.

Low (ish) Maintenance Ideas:

• Simple skin and hair routine in the morning and at night (3 steps or so)
• Get a trim if you have any split ends, find a hairstyle you love that is easy for daily wear (mine is usually a low bun)
• Bit of concealer, brow gel, mascara and lip and cheek tint if you feel like it
• Drink lots of water and make sure you’re getting enough vitamins and sunlight (lol, if you can)
• Try and create a capsule wardrobe (from your current clothes) for work that you feel good in- I hang them separately
• Do your nails however you like, simple nude polish or french tip acrylics, I always feel better about myself with nice nails
• Don’t forget to moisturise after the shower
• Make sure you’re getting enough rest and don’t be so harsh on yourself, I don’t think many of us are crazy about our looks after a long day

Brazilian blow dry makes hair much more manageable.
Wear clothes in colours that suit you ie probably not black.

Smile. Posture. Shiny shoes. Lipstick. Hair up if it driving you mad. Good bag and a jacket. Get your colours done if you can. Really helps save money in the long run.

What type of hair do you have?

Vinegar rinse after you wash your hair to close the cuticle.

Clean white teeth

Good hair cut and healthy clean hair

wearing clothes that fit me properly and suit my body shape

wearing my best colours (colour analysis)

lip gloss

i tint my brows and brush them. Wear a small amount of powder foundation, lip gloss blusher and mascara - takes five mins or less

Lipstick and stronger than natural brows ( they tend to fade as you get older). Red lipstick/gloss brightens everything up, as does a hint of blusher. A haircut that works on you and is easy to manage. If you keep having to tie it up, consider a shorter cut.

I get a quarterly eyelash lift and tint. Amazing results, and makes my daily routine faster too. Haven't touched mascara in years, but still look awake (mostly). I also use the cosrx face serum (snail mucinex or something). I thought it was a fad, but the results were instant for me. Korean skincare can be very cheap on Amazon and they really seem to have great products.

I would say hair trim every 6 weeks, capsule wardrobe where everything makes you feel at your best, and maybe getting your teeth done.
My parents are in their sixties and it's the teeth that ages them the most, I think.

I have a question about the brows for anyone who knows - I can definitely see I could do with more brow definition but I don't want to look like the Kardashians. What's the middle ground? What do I ask for?

Please could someone explain what 'Tret' is? I keep seeing it on here but not sure what it means!

Just ask for a brow shape (wax) and tint. It will look very natural.
For a more permanent look you could have machine brows or microblading (look at instagram for images).

“ Clean white teeth.”Trouble is, although we would love them, many of us who are getting on a bit have high maintenance teeth as a result of tooth care in the sixties and seventies, fill, drill and bill, and now it’s fillings ,crowns, implants if you can afford them. Unless you can afford to have a teeth makeover, it’s keeping the ones you have in reasonable shape , but its hard to achieve a uniform,even white set of teeth( unless it’s dentures of course!)

thanks! But I don't like the idea of waxing bits of my eyebrows off, as they are quite pale and not much of them, so I worry they wouldn't grow back again. Maybe this needs to be a micro thread for blondes...

google is your friend! (I had to as well)

For me, it the hair. I do my roots at home with henna. It costs about 3 quid every 3 weeks. I hate doing it but without it i look 100. It literally transforms me.

Always wear make up, with suitable blusher and eye last curlers (I tried an eye perm once but just broke off the lashes).

Other than that, boring boring: sleep and eat well, exercise and limit the sugar and alcohol.

I would love to try tret but honestly i bought a shit car and want to go somewhere nice on holiday. It's expensive looking fresh when you're older!

Just looked tret up - it says that it is a type of concentrated retinol for those with acne. What does it do for those without it? Is it that much better than other less strong retinols?

Tretinoin. It's a spot cream (Retin A) which turned out to also reduce lines. It's only available on prescription in the uk although you can get it through Skin and Me. Or you can get it over the counter in Spain and it's called Retirides. I don't know if you can get it online...I'm still very slowly using up two tubes that a friend got me when he was in Spain. It makes your skin peel on about day 3. A tip (that I nearly always forget) is to wipe it off the nostril area or it looks very unsightly!

I don't think it's "the end". I'm more confident in my work and my relationships. I've done a lot of therapy in the last few years and I'm mentally fine. I go swimming indoors and out, two dance classes a week, walking the dog, lots of gardening and fun with my kids and dh. My life is pretty sweet. But I don't look pretty anymore that's for certain.

Teeth are good and straight but a bit beige now I suppose. Can that be fixed at home?

Hair is very thick and coarse. Very curly. Now silver and cinnamon having been auburn. It is "aging" but I keep up with roots so I grew it out. It looks good when I do it properly (full on curly girl!) but didn't have time this morning. Just such a faff! There doesn't seem to be a quick way of making it look good.

Eyebrows and eyelashes have thinned. Greying. I'm scared of microblading (?) because it looks really dark and thick and I don't know if that suits grey hair.

Skin is ok. Not wrinkled. Not spotty. Few darker patches like joined up freckles. What sorts that out?

I never really know what to wear. I think I look terrible in most clothes. Nothing ever fits. I'm lumpy and bumpy and dumpy. Loathe heels and underwires. I've had some big ops (hysterectomy and lump from boob) in the last few years and don't like tight fitting things. I don't live near shops and I hate shopping.

Is all lost?