Ladies of Leisure

[calmandcollected101]

Mums that have 'help' such as a cleaner meal prep done...

What do you do during your spare time to look after and maintain yourself?

Is there anything in particular that you do that makes you feel good? Spas / lunches etc

not really
i don’t need things explained
I don’t benchmark myself against what other spend my money on

I am happy to wait whilst someone else explains me to you (seeing it’s tricky)

I saw a post on here about a woman who was struggling with her mental health (or had an abusive husband, something like that) and I had to register so that I could respond. I picked the name in support of that particular thread. I’ve never had a reason to change it. Nor should I be bullied out of it. It means something to me.

Thats the problem with averages, always someone at either end of the bell curve! But I realised that there is usually something relatable or likeable to be found in a person. I don’t look for reasons to be divisive. I just gave a polite and helpful answer to a harmless question. I’m well aware I am not ‘average’ but why shouldn’t I be allowed to talk to others or share about my life because I’m not ‘relatable’ to most people.

Mumsnet is so weird these days

Medic8 is lovely. And Leneige - South Korean face care. So good!

I have a kidney problem so I had to use a professional to help me work out a specific diet. It has made a big difference to my wellbeing and quality of life.

sorry - forgot to tag the castle lady in.

I can't figure out if this is a joke post to wind up mums with little to no help and/or free time. Or if as a therapist you are genuinely clueless how to work out what options are available to you that you'd like to pursue for self care.

Find an exercise you enjoy, this is what I would say, will make you look and more importantly feel rested, confident, strong and healthy.

It’s etc, not ect.

It’s from the Latin et cetera, and is abbreviated to etc.

Therapist?Use your therapy skills. You’re a business woman employ your self reflection,self awareness and exploration.
Either you’re tone deaf.(I’m affluent sign post me please to other affluent folk)
or on wind up (I’m rich therapist,help me spend my dad money please )

Thanks for letting me know. Spelling has never been my strong point ☺️

Why would it be a joke post?

It's a genuine question.

Why would you relate my profession to a question I have about life.

Thanks for your input.

I was looking for responses in relation to self care/ going extra mile with beauty etc.

I don't have all of those answers as a therapist.

Yes that's the vibe I got too. Or not a very good therapist if she can't figure this out for herself.

Surely the most basic self care things are the cheapest though?
You dont need to be rich or have loads of time to eat a healthy diet, reduce your alcohol or have a decent skincare regime(and you really dont need expensive skincare products to make a difference, just use them regularly and stay out the sun!).
Also exercise is free, as is meditation and journalling.

I mean, sure you could get botox, fillers or have surgery but in all likelihood you will look like you've had it done as well!
For me surrounding myself with tons of houseplants and reading a good book counts as self care....

I agree with plants and reading. 💜

Walking is always a good one too.

Why so snarky? The OP can ask for other people's ideas, just like countless other threads do; sample skincare routines, tips on how to save money, dinner recipe ideas, what people do in their spare time... are those people sheep too by getting advice from others?

Or is it just that people on here are never allowed to talk about having money or spending money. It's jealousy pure and simple.

You dont need to be rich or have loads of time to eat a healthy diet

I'd beg to differ. Good quality food is expensive and needs time to prepare. When you're juggling full time work, a family and whatever else the last thin you want to do is to be bulk cooking on a Sunday. Prepared healthy food is very expensive. There's a reason why poverty and obesity are linked.

Yes to plants, books and regular walks in between trees. I find smell really has a positive effect on my wellbeing, I use a lot of essential oils now in the home and in products and it's really a form of self care.

My friend has a busy full time job three kids (two at home but late teens/early 20s) no cleaner. When kids were babies through to last being in school she did have a live in nanny. Since then no help other than the odd few months of having a cleaner once a week. Her husband never did much baby care but was hands on when older and does his fair share of house cleaning (no cooking though).
She has always had her hair blown out every week. She's always gone to the gym daily. She's always been waxed, nails done. She's always turned out very well groomed and put together. Because it's a priority. She's careful with budgeting and sees this as a professional responsibility too as she meets clients, plus it makes her feel good.
I on the other hand, have a very part time job and when my kids were younger was a SAHM. But I do not prioritise looking office ready groomed. I'm a bit slapdash with my exercise and other than a facial every other month I dye my own hair, never wax, and get my hair cut three/four times a year. I was actually better when I had a full time job.
If it's a priority you make time. You budget for it financially and in your week. If it means getting up at 5.30am to go for a run that's what you do. If you can't due to childcare you do an online routine at home. You fit in other 'self-care' when you can. Maybe use a mobile hairdresser/beautician.

I get my nails painted, but I’m not into facials, massage, or spas. I like to get my hair cut regularly. I tend to meet friends in the evenings rather than lunchtime. We spend most of our weekends out doing things (museums, galleries, markets). I enjoy reading, so a lot of my free time is spent on that!

What sort of things do you like? Is there a hobby you’d like to try? My MIL has taken up quilting, which she finds very relaxing and has made some beautiful things.

Jealous? Not in the least, I am responding to the clunky braggy post. The faux don’t know what (product) I want. How can you literally not know what your preferences are?or what products you gravitate to?
OP could have posted I work FT, am a business owner, please share your tips and products for wellbeing
Instead she wrote a braggy post about having staff and wanting to know what other ladies of leisure spend money in. Essentially, only seeking responses from a very small cohort eg other affluent women.

There is a S&B post at moment, a straightforward have £2k budget please recommend a bag. That thread is getting responses,has been on go for days.Op could written such a post…she didn’t. She specifically asked ladies of leisure who have help to comment. That’s very specific categories ladies of leisure and have help. Then to apparently not know what products or behaviours one has a preference for? Come on…

It was all together a peculiar post. I’m not the only person making that observation

People don’t have to communicate the way you want them to and they don’t have to word questions the way you want them to be worded.

It comes across as very intense and oppressive!

The OP wasn’t rude or offensive, they just asked a question differently to how you would.

Hmm,On a word based medium posters are literally going to comment on the words
I’m not instructing her how to compose a post, she’s already done that(badly)
I am commenting on the post she’s written (which is kind of the point)
You, conversely are commenting on the post I have written (which is kind of of the point) and likely we will have a bit of back and forth about that

I don’t know why this thread has wound you up so much but you might want to click on unwatch. Your responses aren’t at all proportionate or reasonable x

I accept your view. I’m not telling you not to have it or how to word your responses.

I think it’s a shame for a person to ask a pretty light question and for it to be met with such an intense and unnecessary response. But that’s all - a shame and a bit sad.

I am glad that I stuck up for the original poster but I’m not going to respond again. I’d rather spend time and energy on my self care or with my children or having a positive conversation with a friend. 💜

It's perfectly possible to scroll on by if you don't like what the OP is asking...

I think it is worth investing in your health - so for me that is regular PT weights sessions and reformer pilates.

I have given up on nails after having allergic reactions to gels sadly.

Beauty wise - regular botox, fillers, profilho and I did morpheus earlier this year but wouldn't again as way too painful for the results. But I am a lot older than you.

I cook a lot and definitely focus on eating well.