New winter wardrobe

[WinterUnder]

Hi, I am sick and tired of looking frumpy, and need a completely new wardrobe. Having kids has completely changed my dressing and I just feel so awful each and every single day. I have a closet full of black and dark colours. I am struggling to find shoes and have ONE pair of shoes. Please help. My dh has kindly given me a good budget to get a new wardrobe (big birthday and Xmas)but I have no clue where to start.

I'm 5'3, size 8-10, very skinny legs, petite, darker (Asian) skin tone, just turned 40.

Things I'm not into:

-oversized as it just drowns me and makes me look clownish

• doc martins or masculine type shoes

Things I'm looking for:

• stylish and chic clothing
• petite and feminine
• shoes are a big problem- I have flat feet so that's why I just have one pair
• I'm looking for clothing that will last

Please help with suggestions.

When I was feeling the same, I tried Instagram for inspiration. Lots of style influencers on there. Yes, they’re monetising their feed and getting freebies to promote, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pick up some inspiration. Stylebyclairelopez might suit you, she’s fairly petite and does a lot of styling tips and how to create different looks. It might give you a few ideas.

Thanks I'll have a look. I do follow a lot of people on there but mostly end up being from other countries and I could never find anything here .

Can you book a personal shopper ? John Lewis / department stores sometimes have them too.

I would spend several evenings thoroughly inspecting the websites of

Collagerie

and

https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-gb/shop/edit/bestsellers Net-a-Porter

to get a better idea of what’s fashionable and available right now. They both cover an infinite number of brands , which you can obviously chase up on their own individual sites.

I also wouldn’t be too prescriptive about what you want and don’t want. Truly well dressed people tend to approach dressing with an open mind and are ready to embrace new ideas and constantly evolve their style.

I'd consider getting a stylist to help, is that something that appeals to you?

I am Asian too. Not petite though. I wear a lot of colour. Various shades of beige, taupe and greige may be chic but do not suit my skin. Black depresses me too. I suit deep red, plum, burnt orange, fuchsia, emerald ...

Have you looked at Massimo Dutti or Sezane? Feminine is everywhere on the high street. I prefer more androgyny myself but cant find it easily.

What about booking a John Lewis personal shopper appointment?

I'm not going to make specific suggestions as a) I like the very things you want to avoid and b) I no longer have small children and I've probably forgotten what they do to clothes. But I do remember that feeling of not knowing how to get dressed any more, so here are a couple of general thoughts:

I think it helps if you can get into the mindset that this is supposed to be a fun thing and that the priority is to get back into enjoying clothes again, no matter how long it takes or how many 'mistakes' you make along the way.

I agree with a previous poster about not being too prescriptive. Your body and your life have been turned upside down and your taste in clothes might have changed too. If you have a generous budget at the moment, it might be worth holding some of it back while you experiment.

When I was looking for inspiration, it came in the unlikely (for me) form of a Boden catalogue. It's nothing like how I dress now but, at that particular time of my life, something attracted me and I'll always have a soft spot for them for that reason. Which is a long winded way of saying that, while Instagram and Pinterest and stylists etc all have their place, sometimes the real lightbulb moments happen when you're walking along the street or in the supermarket or watching TV.

I know a lot of posters will disagree strongly with this but I'd try and avoid getting too sucked into dressing for your shape. I was a devotee myself until I realised I was developing a very negative view of my body and obsessing about my perfectly normal thighs, upper arms and jawline. Which brings me back to my first point - relearning how to enjoy getting dressed is the important thing, or at least it was for me.

PS, in case I didn't express myself very well in that post, the Boden mention wasn't a recommendation - although it might work for you, I've no idea. It's more an example of how inspiration can strike when you're least expecting it.

Dressing for your shape: I dont dress for it or against it..Somewhere in between? I mostly dress for comfort as I walk everywhere or take the Tube.

Thank you all for the suggestions and lovely comments. I did try the JL shopper and they got it completely wrong- I was too polite to say anything!
Sezane is definitely my kind of style and I have a few pieces from them.

A big issue is that I'm petite and something oversized, relaxed and boxy just makes me look like a child trying out mums clothes. Wide leg jeans and I look so clownish. And I feel really cold, so clothing needs to be warm but stylish.
I've bought a few trousers recently and had them tailored, it worked out almost the same as the trousers!

Hi OP, I'm 5"3, 40, skinny and have flat feet - I couldn't read and run!

To treat myself for my big birthday this year, I saw a stylist to have a clothes colour analysis. I was quite sceptical beforehand, but definitely noticed how certain colours made my skin tone look more even while others made me look ill. I'd definitely recommend this if you can do it.

I've found fashion influencers really great for clothes inspo. Here are the petite ones that might be worth a look:

Some influencers do seasonal roundups with links e.g.

https://www.shopltk.com/explore/kateehutchins/collections/11eeedbea13c068bbf4f0242ac110013

Love this influencer's style (although not sure if she is petite):

I bought clothes from Reformation and Abercrombie petite range this year and was impressed. Arket is another go to

Final thing - by doing these exercises daily for three months straight, I developed small arches:

Good luck!

For petite and feminine, have a look at French brands - Maje, Sandro, Iro, Anne Fontaine, Claudie Pierlot, Sezane, Musier

I agree about ignoring the "dress for your shape" advice. I see so many posts saying " that would only look good on an 18 year old, size 6, 5'11" model"-

Well that rules out 99% of the population. I'm also sceptical about "getting your colours done"

These are not reccomendations really- just brands I like. I've got something from most of them. Most are very feminine. Some are oversized,- I'm only 5'2" or so and I don't feel swamped. I think over-sized is very feminine.
Cabbages & Roses
Palava
Sister Jane
Oska
Klements
Batsheva
Nobody's Child
Casey Casey
Joannie
CFCL
Egg
Colenimo

My advice would be to start by choosing an outfit that you really love from one website. Buy the whole thing including shoes and accessories. It doesn't matter whether you think it will suit you just pick something you really love. You'll get so many compliments. After a while choose another outfit- just doing this a couple of times will really grow your confidence.
See a podiatrist and get custom orthotics made for yourself, then you can wear a wider range of shoes.

I'd say find a celebrity whose style you like and copy them! Vic Beckham always looks great I think... but find someone u like and literally copy them from head to foot. There's so many dupes now it can be done

Check out Coco Beauty on YouTube. She has the same body type as you have described & she gives great style tips..