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Original poster

Shoes for 12 year old dddd - help please.

30 replies

seeker · 23/04/2008 11:30

dd is 12. She has size 4.5 -5 feet, but they are very broad. We have a family history of crap feet - bunions and so on, so I have always been very strict about shoes for her.

"Everyone" in her form wears ballet type pumps to school, but I really don't want her to - I want her to have shoes she doesn't have to scrunch her toes up to keep on, and that she can run for the bus in without them flying off. She has a a pair of really nice pumps she wears at the weekend when she's out with her friends. But she really doesn't want to wear "school" shoes any more. these] are what she's wearing at the moment, and she "hates" them. Any ideas?

OP posts:
Original poster
seeker · 23/04/2008 13:00

No one? I can't bear the thought of a pre-teen tantrum!

OP posts:
RosaLuxembourg · 23/04/2008 13:19

DD1 has these from Rhino at the moment. But they are a bit schoolie. I don't know if there IS an answer really, I have the same problem, ballet pumps for weekend, but she just can't wear them to school. I know lots of girls do wear them, but they do impede free movement and I think you have to stick to your guns really.

Original poster
seeker · 23/04/2008 13:22

BUM. I was afraid of that.

It's made worse because she likes to wear a skirt, and school shoes do look grim with a skirt!

OP posts:
PrimulaVeris · 23/04/2008 13:24

I've got a dd 12

Feet size 5.5, heading for 6

Ballet pumps totally useless and only any good if you're dropped off by car or have a 2-min walk. DD has a very long walk to school so has to be practical. She wears some very similar to the 'school' ones you mention and (amazingly) has not complained about the image yet. I think she thinks one image for school another image for out of school.

Sorry that's not much help

PenelopePitstops · 23/04/2008 13:29

dont envy you one bit school shoes are a nighmare!

my sister now wears ballet pump style shoes as mum has given up on decent shoes

she also wears ones like this when she feels like it!!

how about ballet shoes with a strap over, there are quite a few around atm like these from m&s which my sister has

NotABanana · 23/04/2008 13:30

School uniform has to be sensible and she can wear what she wants on weekends. My DD is 4 and not happy about some aspects of her uniform but I have told her she can speak to the Head about it.

Ballet shoes are so bad for feet. No support.

PenelopePitstops · 23/04/2008 13:31

these aswell from marks

my sister walks a mile to school and back daily int hese shoes and doesnt complain

Original poster
seeker · 23/04/2008 13:32

I know. Dd has a walk as well. And she's at an enormous school so has a lot of walking to do during the day. I thougth there wasn't a solution - but I was living in hope.

Just found these. What do you think?

OP posts:
Jackstini · 23/04/2008 13:35

What about these - bit expensive but sure can get cheaper on ebay. Trendy name so she might wear?
www.justskechers.co.uk/cfprodshow.asp?code=21404BLK

RosaLuxembourg · 23/04/2008 13:36

My DD would like those. But one or two of her friends might still look down their noses a bit - they are beyond awful atm.

pofaced · 23/04/2008 13:38

Clark's women's do a range of uber trendy Camper-style shoes: seriously cool but not too damaging to the feet. TKMaxx always good for cheap shoes in interesting styles and very well made/ good fit eg German/ Italian kids shoes that go up to 37/38...

Jackstini · 23/04/2008 13:38

Like these ones (new) cgi.ebay.co.uk/SKECHERS-WOMENS-BLACK-LEATHER-TRAINERS-SHOES-SIZE-5-5_W0QQitemZ330229909114QQihZ014QQ categoryZ63889QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

PrimulaVeris · 23/04/2008 13:38
Original poster
seeker · 23/04/2008 13:45

I agree, notababana. I was looking for a compromise. Come back when you're dd is 12 and we'll help you find shoes for her!

OP posts:
Original poster
seeker · 23/04/2008 13:54

Wow - those Skechers look hopeful - thank you!

OP posts:
NotABanana · 23/04/2008 14:03

When she is 12 she will wear the shoes I tell her too.

Original poster
seeker · 23/04/2008 14:15

So does mine - but I would prefer her to be happy about it.

How often does somebody with authority over you make you wear something that makes people in your work place laugh at you?

OP posts:
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 23/04/2008 14:16

Campers?

RosaLuxembourg · 23/04/2008 14:24

Sure she will, NotaBanana
Seeker, those Skechers look good. You might just get away with it.

NotABanana · 23/04/2008 14:41

The thing is a school uniform is there for a reason and that is why my children have to wear the shoes they do. I am a full time mum so I wear what I want but when I did work no one laughed at me. We all wore the same. If the children are laughing at your daughter because of the shoes she wears I would tell her to take no notice. There isn't a lot of choice when it comes to uniform ime.

Off to school now.

Happy shoe shopping!

frogs · 23/04/2008 14:51

Hahahahahaha at NotABanana.

Have you got a teenage dd?

One word: Coats.

Another word: Shoes.

Sure, they may go out of the front door in the coat/shoes you tell them to, but you would be very unwise to stake your mortgage on them not changing as soon as they're round the first corner. And there's squat all you'll be able to do about it.

frogs · 23/04/2008 14:54

Seeker, my dd1 has The Solar ones (select along the bottom -- I can't link to the exact shoe) from the Rhino selection, which seem to be moderately acceptable ballet pump variants, although still obviously less favoured than the crappy £10 ballet pumps she bought herself from Shoe express.

NotABanana · 23/04/2008 16:48

frogs I am laughing along with you as my DD is only 4. And tbh I can't imagine what it is like to have a 12 year old. I just know we have had notes coming home about the wrong kind of footwear (boots when it should be shoes) and the wrong sock/tights colour (have to be grey and skin colour in the juniors) and know how strict our Head is so I use that when DD doesn't want to wear something with buttons on. (She really doesn't like them)

Original poster
seeker · 23/04/2008 20:56

The thing is, notabanana, that I have said several times that my dd will wear what she has to to conform to her school uniform. The school is quite strict, and so am I - as I said we have foot problems in our family and I would like dd to avoid bunions at 17, like my niece. So I could, if I chose, send her to school wearing school shoes she hates, and which look awful with a skirt. But I would prefer to find something which goes at least halfway towards meeting her requirements as well as fully meeting mine and the school. I see this as kind and considerate behaviour on my part, and a way of showing my dd that I have some empathy with her feelings and that I vaguely remember what it was like to be 12 years old.

That is the purpose of this thread - I'm sorry if it seems to you to be wishy washy trendy liberal parenting. It actually couldn't be less so if it tried!

Thank you to everyone who came up with ideas - I'll run them past She Who Must Be Obeyed tomorrow!

OP posts:
NotABanana · 23/04/2008 21:00

seeker, I didn't get the whole point of what you were saying and I apologise. Having had a DD that supposedly had a problem with her feet and ended up having boys boots for her first pair I can understand.

In 8 years I will remember this if DD won't wear the right school shoes.

A lot of the time the shops don't help by stocking completely inappropriate shoes for school. Young children do not need heels for example. It was hard enough finding a pair of 100% black shoes with pink/blue/silver flowers on!

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