Confident conference wear for menopausal woman?

[greatcoffeebadhair]

I’ve had a slight career sideways move into a new sector and am going to a conference next month where I know NOONE. I don’t love networking at the best of times, but I am also feeling very flabby ans grey and unconfident.

I work in a creative field and people are often very well groomed and put together. I cannot compete with that!

I would love to wear toast but my budget is definitely more Uniqlo. Can anyone suggest any hot flush friendly outfits for a size 12 apple shape? Things that are in the shops right now?

I love geometric prints, bold lines etc but that doesn’t seem to be in any more. The drop waist gingham dresses look lovely on slender people but they make me look like a potato.

What you lack OP, is not style, clothes or a figure...its self confidence. You need to fake it to make it. I worry that your professional standing and self worth is being so heavily dictated by your attire. Consider that the apparently well dressed successful folk you aspire to be like that are also appearing to be confident and outgoing, not just well dressed. They may not be on the inside, but that is what they appear like to you. Your carriage, gate, voice and body language must all be "well-dressed" too and that's far more impactful than your attire.

I work in engineering in a leadership position. Your industry sound more "arty" creative, than "inventing stuff "creative" but i think this principle applies. I wear Jeans, T Shirt and sweatshirt normally. I know my stuff, my body language and words convey my presence far more than my attire does.

I can't find the quote, but I think it was James Dyson: "I shake the hand of the guys in suits, then go ask the guy in jeans who's stood at the back of the room to tell me about the product. The sales team hate it, but the jeans guy always knows the product's faults and virtues."

If you are not already on HRT DO IT!. I cannot stress enough the difference meds have had on my early meno. Also use the app "Balance".

Don't hide behind your fancy attire OP, use your confidence to shine in a bin bag!

Yep totally agree with hrt. You do not need to suffer.
And getting your colours done. Black might look awful on you!

Go to a Dior counter and get them to advise on your eyebrows. They seem to employ actual makeup artists rather than sales people.

And I agree with pp- comfortable and temperature acceptable clothing worn with CONFIDENCE is worth more than a designer dress.

You are the boss. Now is the time to step into BEING the boss.

Take a step back, @greatcoffeebadhair.

Please don’t reveal any more here - it’s a public forum.

You’re right, thank you.

thanks to all the clothing suggestions on this thread too! It has really helped me change my perspective

I understand OP. I’m v different in that I’m self employed and home based, but I have to go to events and I’m much better at my actual job than I am at mingling and networking. I do think feeling right and confident in your clothes helps. A tip I was given also helps: don’t think about you and how awkward you feel, think about finding people who feel awkward or need a social leg-up and chat to them (subtly of course not patronisingly) and think about what they might need from you. Someone who’s on the edge or looks shy or left out, etc. it takes the pressure off you and gives you a way of working the room, then you end up in conversations.

@greatcoffeebadhair you may want to ask MNHQ to remove your 8.30am post? It is potentially outing.

If you have £200 then buy yourself a blazer from Reiss. The cut is beautiful! You can wear it over a dress, with jeans and a shirt/blouse or for evening functions with a camisole/ top underneath. I'm also an apple shape but this blazer makes me look like I have a waist.

Is £200 enough for beautiful cut and fabric?

(Speaking as someone who remembers newspaper articles in the 90s / early 2000s musing on £700 being the cut off point for a Really Good Jacket … )

I don't think blazers are half as useful as MN thinks they are.

I don't think a blazer over a dress works. I don't really see the point of buying a dress and hiding at least half of it under a jacket. Fair enough if it's being used as outerwear but not to wear indoors over a dress. If it is for warmth, I think jackets over dresses should be cropped and boxy or a good quality cardigan.

I look shit in blazers for some reason but an exception is the Whistles slim jersey jacket, which a bit more casual and seems to go with everything. So I'd recommend that for anyone who can't get blazers to look right.

https://www.whistles.com/product/slim-jersey-jacket-38023.html

(No idea why that link is going on about a coat!)

I completely agree. I have a variation of that jacket in black and navy to wear with a dress if it's cold.

Mine is the dark grey and has a kind of subtle tweedy look, and it's great with jeans or more formal trousers.

I think your point about wearing your existing clothes and styling them differently is a good one, in your position I would probably go for an elevated 'you' look rather than a whole new one. I also think that a key piece of quality jewellery - vintage possibly - is a nice way to show your taste without yelling "whacky". Good hair, glasses and make up too - I love the 'Diana Taverner' hair and make up combo, and classic shoes.
I have some lovely Grenson lace ups that I bought in the sample sale that lift anything plain that I'm wearing.
I don't think you need to go too mad on a whole new wardrobe, they hired you, so they obviously want and respect your talents.

You sound like you lack confidence by saying you can't compete with well groomed and put together people. Of course you can - go to a hairdresser, get a manicure, get advice from a good make-up counter and invest in make up, great earrings and a necklace. Then make sure you have some good (and polished) shoes, buy a nice trouser suit and silk shirt or a relatively plain dress that you feel comfortable in.

This thread is two weeks old, @independencefreedom - the OP’s conference is probably over!