Confident conference wear for menopausal woman?

[greatcoffeebadhair]

I’ve had a slight career sideways move into a new sector and am going to a conference next month where I know NOONE. I don’t love networking at the best of times, but I am also feeling very flabby ans grey and unconfident.

I work in a creative field and people are often very well groomed and put together. I cannot compete with that!

I would love to wear toast but my budget is definitely more Uniqlo. Can anyone suggest any hot flush friendly outfits for a size 12 apple shape? Things that are in the shops right now?

I love geometric prints, bold lines etc but that doesn’t seem to be in any more. The drop waist gingham dresses look lovely on slender people but they make me look like a potato.

@greatcoffeebadhair I’m not sure if you would wear this, but my short friend wears cigarette pants and lovely shirts over them in a variety of fabrics. Cotton obviously helps if you get hot. The pants hide a tummy! Mostly people look at the top! Definitely think a plain dress (breathable natural fabric) and good jewellery makes a polished look but you must get eyebrows and hair sorted out for this to work. I definitely think H&M group or M&S who have upped their game recently.

I need your voice in my head at all times ❤

Bikini ?

That is why all black with a statement piece of jewellery looks really good. I bought this dress by Ghost and really like it…I have a bit of a tummy too (I’m 57, size 14, 5’8”), and it just was very flattering. It is linen, beautifully dyed, easy to put on, and with a great necklace looked nice.
www.johnlewis.com/ghost-bonnie-linen-dress-black/p112079154

Google thinks it is. It was in the first result for "drop waist gingham dress"

important…understanding the “on your feet” ratio of sitting down / listening/ meals at a table networking or a standing up / visiting stalls / cocktail and canapés networking set up. You need to be comfortable in what you have on your feet!!

for this reason I’ve recently been in fancy trainers / brogues rather than heels and ended gravitating to wide leg trousers (pocket for phone) and tops rather than dresses.

Second the advice to look for brands on vinted !

Why are you putting up with all that meno crap and not considering HRT?
Honestly, there is no need to adjust your wardrobe, have brain fog and put on weight.

Most types of HRT are very safe now.

Hop over to the meno forum part of MN if you want to ask for help around it.

@RobinEllacotStrike · Yesterday 21:03

Cos - bit funky but also comfy
www.cos.com/en_gbp/women/womenswear/dresses/product.striped-jersey-midi-dress-black.1247810001.html

Oh yes great! and it is cotton! The design means it will sweep over apple tums!

I like vintage tops/shirts with smarter trousers and trainers to feel a bit cool!

How about:

top with barrel leg trousers
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/damson-madder-candy-blouse?category=tops&color=644&type=REGULAR&quantity=1

jacket with black straight trousers and plain tshirt
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/damson-madder-diana-bow-quilted-jacket?category=jackets-coats&color=001&type=REGULAR&quantity=1

or this kind of outfit
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/nobodys-child-birdie-blouse?category=tops&color=010&type=REGULAR&quantity=1

Wow @LivelyBlake i love all those options, thank you! I think I could actually style myself like that using clothes I already own. Like someone else said upthread, I may be kidding myself that a new item of clothing is going to cure my nerves. I might actually feel a lot more confident wearing my own clothes in a more intentional way

I'm menopausal, work in creative fields and look dumpy and frumpy in the current fashionable dress styles - even though I'm slim I'm short, so anything that hits mid-calf/below the knee or is even vaguely oversized looks terrible on me.

I've found Zuri dresses brilliant for easy-to-wear-but-striking-and-creative-looking https://www.shopzuri.com/collections/print-dresses They are so loose that they're great for hot flushes but the fact they have a bit of structure in the arms and the short length helps keep them sharp and not potato-like. The Zuri prints are amazing and you can go sharp and geometric or softer and more subtle.

The best solution I've hit on for me, to look slimmer and less dumpy, is a plain, short (just above knee) black shift dress with a Zuri worn open over it, so that the Zuri is like an open-fronted long jacket - then you have layering options, handy for flushes. I have found the merino sleeveless dress from Wool& good - merino has temperature-regulating properties: https://eu.wooland.com/products/sierra-tank-dress-black

This is a bit of a spendy option, so may not work for you at the moment, but perhaps something for longer term, or an idea you can take and find cheaper elements to work for you?

I like wide trousers because you can wear comfortable shoes or trainers and still look smart. then a cropped jacket for now is good. Sleeveless waistcoat if you get hot. Twinset with sleeveless in same colours?

But dresses are just a pain in the arse at a conference. I’ve dropped coffee or food down myself too many times at conferences before and separates are just easier to sort out if things go tits up

I look like that too since hormones struck and I can't find anything I can afford to wear that looks good either, so am watching eagerly.

Just wear all black.

Add a blazer for authority.

Or a uniform of trouser suits and nice shirts.

I can’t wear dresses to work anymore, I have a similar figure and it makes me feel frumpy, in my brain as well as body.

Black can often look more expensive than it is. And it never goes out of fashion. You can add colour with earrings and lipstick!

Inspo:
Why Do So Many People Wear All Black?
A reader struggles to see the allure of wearing black clothing. Our fashion critic offers an explanation for its popularity.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/16/style/all-black-clothing.html?unlocked_article_code=1.NU4.pd_E.sJfcTpWjMsKG&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare&sgrp=c-cb

Ooh love these especially the black jacket.

Fabulous post!! Great stuff.

But I’m also someone who has recently put on a bit of weight, has brain fog and hot flushes, and is having an anonymous moan out of earshot (or eyeshot) of my colleagues.

If your menopause symptoms are troubling you to the extent of affecting your work and confidence, and changing your clothing, would you consider HRT?

I understand how you want clothes that fit with your new role, but there's no need to suffer with all the other meno stuff if it's affecting life to the extent it seems to be.

Fronte have some great loose and structured pieces that could work for work in a creative field.

I would prefer a trouser suit with nice bright blouse. Could do brighter colour jacket if want to change it up. I think flouncy dresses don't help to get you taken seriously and I worry with fussy skirts.

Au contraire. I would keep some of the brights! I think it'll make you look more vibrant and confident. But maybe more LF Markey than Lucy & Yak, if you catch my drift.

I made the mistake of trying to dress more professional than I felt, and in the arts it just meant everyone treated me as older and squarer than I was. It's interesting to look at what Maria Balshaw and Jude Kelly wear - it's not always stuff I like but it's not corporate.

FYI Arket started their sale today which traditionally means COS and & Other Stories is going to be next week.

And as someone who personally LOVES drab sack of potatoes clothes I think this is nice for under £40: https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/products/E471855-000/00?colorDisplayCode=49&sizeDisplayCode=004&pldDisplayCode=000

Why does Uniqlo do this? It’s so disingenuous. And annoying, when I would otherwise recommend them.

Info for item linked above:

That black and white geometric Finery dress is lovely. I want.

I’m late 40’s and can empathise with what you are saying re putting on weight and feeling frumpy. I work in the creative industry but more in the making side as a facilitator so my daily wear is Lucy and Yak Jenny dungarees and a shirt/nice top . I find their dungarees smart and comfortable. lucyandyak.com/products/jenny-dungaree-organic-corduroy-black

If I want to look smarter for an event/presentation etc then I wear scamp and dude. ( scampanddude.com) They generally always have nice stuff in their online outlet or you can pick up good pieces on vinted. The dresses are lovely and flattering and you can wear a jacket over which can come off for hot moments. I’ve got a few dresses that I’ve worn for years and always feel good in them.