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Original poster

What to Wear on First Date - Lunchtime - NOW!

34 replies

bigkahunaburger · 08/09/2024 10:24

Ok should have posted earlier, but Im freaking out as havent been on a date in a year, and I don't know what to wear. Its just the pub at lunchtime (1pm), and its drizzly here but warm (South East) and I have no idea what to wear. Im quite a natural scruff but want to look my best. Im a jeans and docs type girl really. Is a fitted t-shirt (long sleeve) top, jeans and docs not ok? My friend said it looks like I dont care. But thats how I dress? I do bodycon dresses and skirts look on the (rare) fancy night out but this isnt that. Its also drizzly, but too warm for biker jacket I think - but friend thinks my raincoat will look too casual. And as I say its warm but drizzly.

God I hate this shit...

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 08/09/2024 10:34

I disagree with your friend.

Its only a Pub lunch. Just wear what your comfortable in.

Think about your hair and make up/nails/ accessories... whatever you're into. That shows you have made an effort and not just rolled out of bed.

AnnaMagnani · 08/09/2024 10:35

Well I turned up to my first date with now DH wearing jeans and an old hoodie as I was running late, it was raining and I'd forgotten about it.

I think it made it clear to him what I was going to be wearing for the rest of our relationship which was a blessing. Personally a man who can tell the difference in smartness between a biker jacket and a raincoat is not one I wish to date.

Second date was an evening thing and I wore a low cut top to distract from my bright red nose as I was going down with the flu. This also worked well Wink

Butterflyfern · 08/09/2024 10:37

There's a long way between jeans and docs and a body con dress.

I usually steer clear of jeans when going out for lunch, as I think jeans = casual wear unless i'm going to dress them up with heels etc and I CBA with heels.

Do you have a casual dress? Or wide leg trousers? Both make you look like you've made an effort with zero thought or loss of comfort

Butterflyfern · 08/09/2024 10:39

For me, it's the jeans plus docs that make it particularly casual. I'd go jeans, but better shoes or docs and no jeans.

And then jewellery, hair and makeup done

mynameiscalypso · 08/09/2024 10:41

I'd definitely favour what you feel most comfortable and most 'you' in. If you're a jeans + docs person, wear that for sure. It's a pub so casual is totally fine.

burnhambreeches · 08/09/2024 10:44

If it has to be trousers rather than skirt, can you do better than denim and different shoes?
Hair face neckline important if you are sat looking at each other and talking.

AnnaMagnani · 08/09/2024 10:49

If you aren't a makeup and jewellery person, I wouldn't do that either TBH.

Have asked DH and he said 'you looked presentable and the conversation is more important than the look'.

If you are a jeans and docs woman, then you want to attract a man who likes jeans and docs. If this date isn't that man then you will have saved time by not having a second date.

inthekiddle · 08/09/2024 10:54

I think there's jeans and a top and then there's jeans and a top isn't there.

Scruffy jeans, basic old jersey top, scruffy docs, no make up no jewellery dowdy raincoat is very different to...

Nice, smarter jeans, comfy but maybe slightly nicer material top, cleaned up boots, perhaps a necklace or earrings, clean hair and a bit of mascara or whatever makes you feel a bit more done.

As pps have said there's a wide gulf between the first picture and a body con dress (which I wouldn't wear for a Sunday lunch).

Original poster
bigkahunaburger · 08/09/2024 11:35

Yeah i know Im weird - I live in fitted t-shirts, jeans and docs or converse (would converse be better). OR on fancy nights I would wear a tight dress (with docs). I dont really have an in-between cos I get confused, lol. All the clothes are clean, newish, and presentable (I think).

I do have a jumper dress but I think its a bit too warm for that with tights and docs isnt it? I know people have said nicer shoes, but I get confused about shoes. And I really dont own anything other than a pair of sliders, docs and cons.

Im autistic so clothes arent my thing in case you couldnt tell. ;)

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Original poster
bigkahunaburger · 08/09/2024 11:40

Well when I say clothes arent my thing - they kinda are in that Im quite fussy. Im also obsessed with dungarees but Ive been told by friends thats a big no-no for dates.

I kinda want to call it off now, cos this all feels like its just too hard....

OP posts:
PumpkinSpicedTea · 08/09/2024 11:43

GabriellaMontez · 08/09/2024 10:34

I disagree with your friend.

Its only a Pub lunch. Just wear what your comfortable in.

Think about your hair and make up/nails/ accessories... whatever you're into. That shows you have made an effort and not just rolled out of bed.

I know it's easy for me to say but I agree with this. Especially if you are autistic I know it is important to feel comfortable, if you are feeling like calling it off I think you should go with your gut and don't worry about what friends think.

Good luck and hope it goes well.

Doggymummar · 08/09/2024 11:44

Jeans and docs are fine, don't worry

PermanentTemporary · 08/09/2024 11:44

I'd say converse not docs, yes. Fitted t-shirt and decent clean jeans sounds fine to me.

Netcam · 08/09/2024 11:51

I wore jeans, boots and a baggy jumper on my first date (lunch) with DH. No make up. I was 41 at the time. 12 years later we're still going strong.

CookieMonster28 · 08/09/2024 11:54

As PP said wear what you feel comfortable in as it'll make you feel good on your date!
Nice hair and make up and you'll look and feel fab. Hope it goes well! Keep us posted

Trebol · 08/09/2024 11:56

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request

toadinthebucket · 08/09/2024 11:59

Wear your jeans and docs.

There are no rules. Wear what you feel comfortable in.

Why wouldn't you want to be yourself? If he doesn't like you because of your jeans, he's not the one for you and you dodged a bullet.

AnnaMagnani · 08/09/2024 12:00

Ah if you are ASD even more reason to wear what you feel comfortable in. You don't want to start out masking and then be stuck with it.

dudsville · 08/09/2024 12:02

I imagine that if he showed up in jeans and docs or converse you'd be really happy? So dress as you like!

dollyknocker · 08/09/2024 12:06

Honestly just wear what you're comfortable in, jeans and docs sounds fine! I bet your date (if a man) will be in jeans and a tee, and definitely will not have put anywhere near this amount of thought into it. Be your wonderful self, and if they don't like it, well they're not the one for you.

Original poster
bigkahunaburger · 08/09/2024 12:31

awww thanks everyone. Im going to go. Im going with brand new fitted white long-sleeve tee. Wide leg jeans, and white converse (which admittedly are old). And I will take the biker jacket in case it rains. As you say, I bet he isnt angsting as much.

OP posts:
toadinthebucket · 09/09/2024 18:33

How did it go?

Original poster
bigkahunaburger · 10/09/2024 04:23

Well we got on really well but I just didn't fancy him, and he was handsy which made me super uncomfortable. If he wasnt handsy I would have suggested being friends, but he was and it gave me the ick.

I felt good in the outfit though, so onwards and upwards...

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TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 10/09/2024 04:38

Really really glad you went with your own style. If someone doesn't like you as you dress, that's their tough shit I'm afraid. I was reading your thought process, and wondering if you're autistic (I am). Were you comfortable enough to ask him to stop the handsing?

Original poster
bigkahunaburger · 10/09/2024 04:43

No i wasnt. He kept making excuses to touch me, put his leg next to mine etc. I find it very hard to say anything. Then when we walked to the car (with people everywhere) he asked to kiss me - I said no and he said 'oh go on', then 'oh why not just a quick one'. I was proud of myself because I said no and 'i want to take it slow'. I didn't I just don't know how to say no and stop. I find it all so bloody awkward. But cos he did that I knew there was no chance of another date. He gave me instant ick when he started touching me from the get on - just a touch on the shoulder, arm etc. It made my skin crawl.

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