What to Wear on First Date - Lunchtime - NOW!

[bigkahunaburger]

Ok should have posted earlier, but Im freaking out as havent been on a date in a year, and I don't know what to wear. Its just the pub at lunchtime (1pm), and its drizzly here but warm (South East) and I have no idea what to wear. Im quite a natural scruff but want to look my best. Im a jeans and docs type girl really. Is a fitted t-shirt (long sleeve) top, jeans and docs not ok? My friend said it looks like I dont care. But thats how I dress? I do bodycon dresses and skirts look on the (rare) fancy night out but this isnt that. Its also drizzly, but too warm for biker jacket I think - but friend thinks my raincoat will look too casual. And as I say its warm but drizzly.

God I hate this shit...

Oh no. Even your description is making my skin crawl...

Is this not normal for guys? I felt a bit immature like he was just flirting and I got all weird and freaked out about it. Im terrible with boundaries, I just don't know what is acceptable when dating. I was married for 21 years to someone who trampled all over my boundaries, so I get very confused about what is normal. I realise I sound a bit pathetic.

Ugh, he does sound ick. Who says "oh go on" when someone says no to a kiss? That's actually red flag material for me. Glad you went with the clothes you were comfortable in as like you say, it's all awkward enough without trying to wear something that really isn't you!

Dress how you feel yourself and comfortable and if it's to be it'll be.
Dare say he will have a quick shower perhaps throw some gel at his hair and be done.

Ok now I've finished reading the thread. What a ick!!!

I know! and he wont stop messaging me now. Ive ignored but feel so uncomfortable. What is the etiquette when you don't want to meet up again? Do I tell him - and why? That I enjoyed the chat but essentially he ruined it by being creepy. Or is it better to just ignore/ghost - or block? Morally I dont know the right thing to do here. God online dating is a minefield isnt it. Weirdly I dont want him to feel bad, but maybe I should.

The best etiquette imo is just to say thank you for meeting up, it was great to go out (because at least you ended up feeling good about some aspects of the prospect of it) but at this point you're not feeling it, wish him well, and block him. He sounds very pushy so I definitely WOULD block.

You're obviously a catch! Hope the next one is better.

thanks for that advice. I just did it! I feel sick and worried ive hurt him. I should probably start another thread on this alone, but Ive been reflecting ever since. I thought i had worked hard on my boundaries (since my awful divorce from an abusive man), but I clearly haven't. I think dating will help me. What I have learnt from this is the moment he started getting handsy I should have said, 'please stop touching me'. and if he did anything other than apologise such as got the arse or continued then I should leave. That is what I will do next time. Weirdly in my job (social worker) and with my daughters and friends I give advice along these lines all the time. Yet for myself I am utter rubbish at it. Always so worried about hurting and offending. I have a lot of work to do clearly...