Look 10years older than I am

[Feelingoldandfedup]

Feeling increasingly down about the way I look and looking for any advice.
I’m in my early 40s but genuinely look 10 years older - I regularly get mistaken for older than my age and/or people are surprised when I tell them my age. Just today a colleague in her 60s made a comment about another woman being younger than both of us (she was mid 50s.
i have an ok figure, dress well but my face is so haggard. I have deep frown lines and nasal folds and skin on my face is very saggy.
I don’t smoke, drink moderately and exercise. I’ve cut out caffeine and reduced carbs/sugar.
is there anything other than injections/surgery that I can do to turn things around or do I need to just accept this is my lot.
Everyone else seems to be aging backwards and it’s making me increasingly depressed and withdrawn.

Have you tried retinol?

I have a skin and me subscription- been using it for about 4 months but not seen much improvement.

I'd ensure first that it's not your hair and/or teeth that are making you look older than your age, as these are easier to fix and maintain.

It would be useful to know if you have exposed your face to excess sunlight, as it sounds like this could be the only risk factor for the premature ageing.

Persevere with the skincare regime and ask for a consultation with a botox/filler professional, or ask friends and colleagues if they can recommend someone.

I could have written this and the same as you, I am slim, non smoker, healthy diet etc. I’m similar age and also with deep frown lines etc. I hate it so much and the embarrassment of people assuming I’m that much older (often 10-15 years). I had kids late too which makes it worse as I’m there with a toddler and I’ve had people comment that surely I’m
too old (rude men usually!)
i know my issue is entirely sun exposure as I tan easily so never much bothered with spf as a younger person and I’m very sporty so was outside a lot.
You don’t mention hair but I also have a significant number of greys. I’ve started in the last year having my hair professionally coloured and that has helped a lot I think. I’m unconvinced by the creams but I do use a decent moisturiser with spf now. I absolutely hate the idea of injections or surgery so I won’t be going down that route. I just need to learn to care less, I’m absolutely convinced that’s the answer.

Being depressed and withdrawn will also make you look older then you are - I have that t-shirt

I decided enough was enough last Easter. I was looking old and ill. I was bordering obesity , I was feeling a complete mess and I was chasing the tail of hitting 60

I was 60 two weeks ago and whilst I cant say Ive turned back time, I look and feel a hell of a lot better and look pretty dam good for my age - no older then anyone else of my age

obviously I had to loose the weight, which I have and maintain. Ive upped the exercise. Ive got a job that I love - straight away mood enhancing , more smiling, less frowning and getting uptight

Then to tackle what I was left with. I chose to let the grey win. Id been battling with that way too long so let that come through with what for me was quite a dramatic re-style . Where as before I used my hair to hide behind, its now short and off my face . I do my best to keep the eyebrows threaded into shape - its amazing how much lift a good brow gives. I have a pretty basic ( compared to most on here ) skin routine, a cleanser that suits me, hyaluronic acid serum, a peptide moisturiser , sometimes throw on something else at night , have the occasional mask, try to remember to exfoliate. That has all paid off. Whilst no miracles have happened Id say that my skin looks and feels the best it has done for years. And an overhaul of the make up, less is more, I can no longer do matte, I need "dewy". It all gives an illusion of youth

But seriously , getting the mind set to a better place has been the most youthful thing I have done. I realised somewhere along the line I was in my head still 30 and I was unconsciously comparing myself to 30 year olds. Looking at how youthful they were then being met by my mum every-time I looked in a mirror

My neice ( 27) came to visit, she took me out dancing and drinking. She has a great attitude, "I am never going to look as young and as beautiful as I do today ever again" and Im taking that for my own.

When was the last time you had a blood test? I remember noticing I looked grey and spending £££ on skincare. Turned out I was severely anaemic!

How well do you sleep? Make sure you’re getting enough

Drink minimum 2 litres of water daily, ideally more

Glycolic toner every other night and a good hydrating moisturiser

Teeth whitening

Brows shaped

Your personal style can add years

Having well manicured nails in a neutral colour

Clean jewellery and not too many pieces either

Do you wear glasses? The frame style can be aging

Cut out the drink to the bare minimum

Are you very thin?

I'm around 50 and people tell me I look around ten years younger than my age but I am a bit overweight and people tell me I'm overweight (often! Especially people in my family which is a whole other thread). I have stayed away from sunbathing pretty much my whole life and have worked inside in office jobs which has helped I think. I wonder whether those factors and the weight have kept my face a bit younger looking. I dream about being three stone lighter though. I wonder whether at age 50 whether we can have it all (face and figure)? I doubt it tbh.

Sun screen, sleep, face yoga, diet with healthy fats and foods that are good for skin like berries.

I have heard a saying that when you get to around 50 it's a case of 'face or waist' !

Obviously not the case for everyone.

Agreed. Think it is probably unrealistic to have both. I understand some people love injectibles but I would rather age naturally I think.

At early 40's I'd say clothes and hair are what's doing it, and not your face.

I definitely have made the mistake of thinking people are older than me because they present themselves in a slightly old fashioned way. Then maybe further down the line they get a new haircut and jacket and suddenly they look much younger.

In general people are superficial and aren't looking that closely to your skin I don't think.

I think it can be tough when other people seem to be ‘aging backwards’ but you don’t know if they have had some help.

After four months you should be seeing some kind of payoff from your Skin and Me subscription so I’d ask them about that.

I am pondering getting an LED mask which might be something to look at.

Frown lines are tough. You can get Frownies which temporarily decrease the depth but ultimately Botox is the only thing that works and it can make a huge difference as frown lines often also make you look tired and grumpy.

Agree with PPs about sleep, skincare, hair, teeth etc.

But a tiny bit of Botox could help a lot. I was petrified to try it (to combat ageing frown lines) and took ages - years! - to work up to it. Started with the smallest possible amount. I’m so glad I did. It makes a real difference, isn’t noticeably ‘done’ (because not many units) and nothing else would have had an impact in that specific way.

I sympathise OP - I have always looked older than my age, even when I was a child (especially then!) - just something about my face shape/structure, I think, regardless of anything else about me. I'm hoping I'm going to be like Alice Cooper or someone who looked old for years and then when he reached the age he always looked, didn't age any more...

On the colleague's comment, sometimes working closely with someone makes you forget differences between you or assume you share more similarities - just thinking of the people I work with, there's a few who at first thought I'd think are the same age as me but could easily be younger - not because they 'look old', but just because we work together and I lazily assume we're part of a similar demographic.

Thinking everyone else seems to be aging backwards - again, I get it! - but it's not really logical. Of everyone else, how many of those people do you only see on social media, where you're probably only seeing the most flattering photos - or ones that have been edited. A few will have botox, filler, regular laser or peels etc. Some of those people will have great skin, great genes, sure. But the hordes of women who look 15 years younger than their age and 40 year olds who are asked if their parents are in when a chugger knocks on the door are 99% a MN-only phenomenon. I have never met anyone IRL who when they've told me their age, I've not believed them - I might have been mildly surprised, but I promise the world is not full of Benjamina Buttons (and consequently, although I know it doesn't feel like it and it does feel like shit, you don't stand out as being the opposite!)

You don't need to go as far as surgery but some Botox on forehead lines and a touch of fillers on lower face wrinkles can really make a huge difference. Hair style is very important too I think plus the things others have said.

That future renew serum from no 7 has actually worked! Plus rosehip oil

I'm like you Op.

I do think it might be something with being anaemic (and genes).
What treatment did they offer you and did it help? @GinForBreakfast

@roseyblack I had B12 injections, iron supplements and eventually, a hysterectomy (anaemia linked to heavy menstrual bleeding).

Don't underestimate the importance of diet when it comes to aging

You need to eat really well

Loads of veg, water, no upf, not much caffeine or alcohol etc

Hi OP, early forties here too. Agree on the blood test in case there's an underlying issue.

Agree with pp re. hair and teeth. These can make a huge difference. Would it help having a fringe if you don't have one already?

I feel that teeth are scaffolding for the face so good to sort out any issues. Cosmetically, I think teeth whitening takes years off.

Do you feel like a style overhaul? If yes, it might be worth going to a personal stylist re. colour analysis and the best silhouettes for your body shape.

Professional eyebrow shaping is great too.

What percentage is the Tret from skin and me you're on?

It’s the neck that ages fast, the bit that looks like cow’s dewlap. Unless you get surgery, there’s not much you can do about it!m

Have you tried a picture in the attic?