Would you bother trying to be thinner for beauty?

[Llamasally]

If you were me?

Posting this in S&B as it’s purely a looks thing.

I am tall, size 12 and a healthy BMI with what you’d probably describe as an ‘athletic’ figure. Good tone but definitely not skinny. Since having the DC a couple of years ago, this seems to be my new ‘set point’ and I can really eat whatever I like and stay the same.

However this makes me think that if I did put in more effort and had more discipline I could probably get back down to a size 10. I prefer photos of me thinner and I didn’t have to think about what to wear so much. Clothes just hang better when thinner, I think anyway, although maybe an unpopular opinion.

So if you were in the same situation, would you try harder and get back to a slimmer size 10, or accept your new size and shape, eat what you like and forget about it? (And try not to hanker after your old slimmer body)

Not if I was already a healthy weight and it involved alot of deprivation!

I'm currently putting alot of work into weight loss at the moment but I enjoy healthy eating and love exercise so it just feels like living my life.
I'm a normal weight so if it made me miserable I wouldn't do it!

Since having the DC a couple of years ago, this seems to be my new ‘set point’ and I can really eat whatever I like and stay the same

This is key for me. I dont eat whatever I like because that would mean I'd be tempted to eat crap. So, for me, staying slimmer means me making healthier food choices which not only keeps my weight down but is actually better for my health. It also means I am motivated to do more exercise which again, is better for my health but most importantly- it helps me mentally feel better.

I'm very similar to you, tall with a healthy BMI but I have noticed as I age I feel better being slimmer and have more energy so yes, I do work to stay a lighter weight.

Its not just that- I like the clothes I have and dont want to have to replace my entire wardrobe every time I go up a size.

Obviously its completely up to you but for me, there are significant health benefits to me doing this.

Yes.
It is the easiest thing in the world to go back to your current eating habits if you don't like it. And since you are fit you'd probably don't have bad habits so it will not be so hard to cut few kcal here and there.

From someone also on a path to size 10. My main motivation was that in menopauze I'd probably get few kg and it will allow me more wiggle space not to feel too big.

Yes. I'm in peri and over the last year noticed a little weight gain because I was tired etc. I was a size ten but then bought some lovely size 12 trousers and told myself it was because of my sore stomach as I was having gynae issues. Before long the size 12s werent just accommodating my sore stomach, but fit beautifully.

I then had a rude awakening when I had to weigh myself for something health related.

I've lost the weight again and god I can fit all my lovely favourite clothes again. I like my collarbone and my hips look great and my thighs don't rub again.

I'd been quite prepared to slip into middle age with the idea that there is nothing wrong with a size 12 (there isn't, of course, but for me there is). I am so bloody chuffed I made the effort! I was also using the gynae issue as an excuse.

When I had my babies 14&16 yrs ago, I lost all the baby weight as fast as I could to be my normal size 10. It made my self esteem so much higher.

I think that if you know your clothes look better, you could give it a go. If you don't like it then stop. Keep exercising for mental health and clear skin and toned body. Eat well for clear skin and good digestion and health and immune system etc.

You've got nothing to lose. I hope you are really happy with your decision. Good luck!

How old are you OP ?

When you hit menopause, controlling weight can get much more difficult, so it is important to be in the best condition you can be at that age, as it gives you the best 'starting point'.

I was very fit and a size 10 in my early 50s, and am now 61, tall like you and a size 10-12. But keeping weight off is harder work. I'm still fit - run 2-3 times a week - but if I put on a couple of pounds, it can take a while to lose them.

Yes to what @Meadowfinch says too. I was very fit going into meno and a size ten. Which is why I was able to get control of the issue fast. I already lifted weights etc. It was a case of tweaking calories and increasing walking etc. Totally doable for 10lbs, would have been much harder once you go over that stone.

Nope. I'm losing weight at the moment but I don't actually have a target weight other than 'healthy'. I see so many posts from women on Mumsnet who go on about having to be careful about their weight all the time to stay a certain size and it sounds miserable. I absolutely want to get into healthy eating habits but I don't want to feel like I can't occasionally have a slice of cake for fear I might put on weight.

If you can maintain a healthy weight without thinking about it I think thats a pretty big plus and I wouldn’t mess with it. I’m trying to lose weight atm, the aim is a healthy BMI and building muscle mass, thats about it. I’m passed the vanity stuff, I just want to feel fit and not to have to calculate what I’m putting in my mouth.

To a certain extent. There is a balance between depriving oneself and over indulgence. When my clothes feel tight, I cut back on my intake.

As mentioned, I'm conscious my body may change post menopause, so I'm trying to get into better habits now.

However, when I've been larger post partum, I've been able to carry it well , perhaps due to my body type.

Same for me. It becomes harder to lose weight as you get older so if you start off at a lighter weight it's not so much of a struggle to get it back down again.

As to the other point, my clothes do indeed look better on me when I am lighter and that makes me feel good.

Ive spent the past 18 months getting back to a size Im happy with, post menopause, without depriving myself

So I cant shovel cake into me mindlessly but thats not deprivation, its called eating sensibly

At the end of the day, if you arent happy with how you look, its your choice to do something about it and its perfectly ok to say you want to be slimmer for vanity

Just because now its all about not body shaming etc, doesn't mean to say we all are happy carrying extra. Ive always hated being fat. Ive never been happy being fat . I had a wardrobe of clothes sizes 8 - 18 and the clothes I love are the 8/10s and those are the ones I want to wear so yep, I work at keeping the weight down

I was a perfectly acceptable weight in a size 12, but nope, body shape and size doesn't suit me so vanity kicked in and I now work on keeping me to the 8/10s

Theres not a lot that I deny myself , other then white bread, thats the only thing I dont eat now. I still have Chinese, Indian, fish and chips and a cheeky McD's , Ill have an ice cream when I fancy one. I like a drink. I enjoy "nibbles" with said drink. All I do is keep in calorie deficit which is a lot easier if the exercise is being put in. Im not a gym bunny, my knees are shot, Ive arthritis in the neck and shoulders so I walk a lot, cycle when I can, ensure I get my steps in even on a lazy day, always use the stairs, park further away then I need to etc

You wont hear from me the words "I cant, Im watching my weight"

Just because now it's all about not body shaming etc, doesn't mean to say we all are happy carrying extra. Ive always hated being fat. Ive never been happy being fat

Exactly. It's not about me worrying about what others think, it's me simply not feeling good when I am larger. I hate that eating sensibly always gets framed as "deprivation". I still have treats that I want but not having an entire cake or a whole packet of biscuits (which I could easily eat lol) is certainly not "deprivation".

OP says she's already a healthy weight, just not the perfect weight (like, who is?) I care most about being strong, happy, healthy & active. If "being thinner" isn't compatible with those things, then screw it. I'm not signing up for that.

We all end up old & ugly (by some standard)... you can love life & be active regardless. I put my priorites away from looks. If you want to feel stronger & fitter, and it doesn't make you miserable to try to be fitter, then crack on with what makes you fitter.

I think it depends on what "eating whether I like" looks like, if that's relatively healthy, no I wouldn't, but if you know there are improvements that could be made in your diet that would generally improve your health (BMI isn't really that good of an indicator) I would prioritise health (and see where your figure ends up).

The other issue to contend with is middle age, I am trying to keep on top on my weight now in my 30s because I know it will be harder to maintain the older I get so do want to get my weight to a good level that I can afford to put some on if that makes sense. Although health is my goal, not weight.

OP says she's already a healthy weight, just not the perfect weight (like, who is?)

I'm a healthy weight but don't think I am healthy enough overall, which is why I have recently changed my diet to be healthier. I am losing weight (without counting a calorie thus far) that's why she's been asked if what she eats is a healthy diet, BMI as an indicator in isolation doesn't tell you very much.

I’m short, and overweight if I am a size 12 (have been there)! both by bmi and how I appear in clothes.

So if I were tall, and my bmi was within the healthy range, I’d be very happy to be a size 12 and wouldn’t deprive myself to be a 10.

Hope that makes sense!

Im probably older than most mumsnetters and I can tell you, apart from all the other benefits of staying a healthy weight, your knees and hips will thank you as you get older. Have a treat, but keep a balance.

I'm like you OP - a tall size 12 with a healthy BMI. I feel like I can eat what I want now and stay the same weight. Certainly don't look fat but I like myself in photos when I was a 10lbs or a stone lighter.
Having been obsessed with weight throughout my life, I don't want to go back into dieting/obsessing again. I'm really happy now and have a healthy relationship with food. I'm much more interested in health than trying to get to a low weight. What I can do is just make efforts not to pig out, make healthy choices, do lots of walking. If I do this I feel good and slowly lose a few pounds which boosts my confidence. I'm not going to hanker after that low weight though. It takes too much emotional energy and restriction to maintain it.

That's the thing for me though - if I can be a size 10 and still treat myself occasionally then yes, that would be my choice. If the only way I can be a size 10 is by really restricting my calories and constantly watching what I eat then I'll happily stay a size bigger.

I regularly see posts from women on here who claim they are having to eat really low calories and not allow a single 'treat' to pass their lips and that's the sacrifice they make to stay very slim. Bugger that.

I regularly see posts from women on here who claim they are having to eat really low calories and not allow a single 'treat' to pass their lips and that's the sacrifice they make to stay very slim. Bugger that.

Totally. Im mindful, not obsessive. I like my food and I dont want to yo yo with my weight again and denying myself food that I like because its deemed to be "bad" will do that. If I went a week or two without chocolate or cake then Id finally crack and will eat a whole cake and by body weight in chocolate in one sitting , think sod it Ive blown all the good and go back to over eating. Now if I want cake I will have a piece or a small chocolate bar , and then back to eating healthy

Yes, I think it is nicer to fit into the slimmer size if you can.
I’m not a big frame, and don’t carry weight well.
I think bodies are individual & it’s important to eat what suits you & your lifestyle. Pardon the pun, but it’s not one size fits all.

When making a decision remember that at some point in life you have to choose between face and arse. I recently lost a lot of weight (for health reasons`- and clothes look amazing on me now but my face is pretty haggard.

The best I ever looked was a size 12 and very toned and I used to fit into a size 6 as a teenager . If your BMI is good and you have muscle tone then no way .

I am a size 12 and a healthy BMI but am trying to get back to a size 10, simply because all my extra weight is around my tummy in menopause. Not healthy or stylish, and looks awful in modern baggy fashions. My size 18 friends look better because they are proportionate.

I recently lost a lot of weight (for health reasons`- and clothes look amazing on me now but my face is pretty haggard.

This is why I started Botox young 😂