Is it common to not be aware of how we look?

[TowerStork]

I recently (in my 40s) realised I have a pronounced overbite/buck teeth. I usually look at my self directly in the mirror and knew my central teeth were 'a bit bigger', but I didn't think much about it. Recently, I saw photos where I'm in the background at different angles and the protrusion is actually very prominent. In fact, I now understand that people have been making comments about it during my life but they went right over my head. At this stage, I'll learn to live with it and I'm glad it wasn't on my mind in my 20s.

But it has made me wonder how common it is to be blind to our own appearance?

I have form. When I was a teenager I ballooned to size 16+ but I didn't really take it in until a toddler on the street said 'that girl is very fat'. To be fair I was going through a lot at the time.

But I'm slightly alarmed at how I can lack awareness on my appearance.

I always think I look different in photos and security cameras. I'm a lot more critical of my appearance in mirrors though.

I suspect its actually the norm not to really know what you look like or what you sound like.

Probably best not to be too aware. Being too conscious of what you look like can be a sort of self-objectification and a constant focus on what you look like to others instead of living your life is unhealthy.

I'm surprised you never noticed it in the mirror or in earlier photos of yourself.

I have never smiled with my teeth in photos and never wondered what my face looks like from the side.

I agree that it's unhealthy to obsess about our appearance but thinking your teeth are straight when they are not is different to not being overly bothered by crooked teeth

I'm 5ft6 and ridiculously overweight with thinning hair (thanks to ongoing treatment) BUT when I look in the mirror I only see Kylie

Yes! This is the way to be.
I'm SO self-critical at the moment for some reason.
I'm going to chanel ChocoChocoLatte/Kylie from now on 😃

I would think it's the other way round. People are overly critical and aware of perceived faults in themselves

Has your dentist never highlighted your overbite?

I'll bet your teeth aren't as bad as you think, images are flat, they make certain things look wrong. You are 3D but you don't see that in an image.

I have two friends who are convinced they are gorgeous. They think every woman is bitterly jealous and every man is hitting on them constantly. It’s kind of weirdly admirable in a way to be so self-regarding. One keeps buying size 10 clothes and keeps complaining about wrong sizing (she’s at least a 20). It’s kind of brilliant. I have no idea where it come from but I am a bit jealous as I am overly critical of myself (and pretty much everyone).

When I look in the mirror I see a perfectly normal sized chin, but when I see myself in photographs my chin often looks large and quite masculine.

Once many years ago I was on a night out with friends when a random man laughed at me and said I had a chin like Jimmy Hill! One of my friends gave him a gob full for being rude and that was that. I didn't think too much more about it.

I think other people must see me how I look in photographs, not how I perceive my own features in the mirror. It's quite interesting/odd when I come to think of it.

We’ve not really evolved to know how we look have we. It’s quite recent.

When i look in the mirror, doing my hair or something, my face is quite ordinary, no emotion. But one time i was on the phone with a friend and i was looking at my hair in the mirror when something made us laugh, so i saw myself in that moment and i was taken aback.

@HousedInMySoul it is, frankly, liberating!

@JaffaCake70 I think you've described my experience exactly.

That's a good point @BaselineDrop

I suspect what I'm describing is less true for younger people since they seem to film and photograph themselves all the time

Good information. Go with looking your best.

I love this 😂. I also wish I was more like this.

I agree with pps that it's not natural to know what we look like and probably for the best that we don't.

When I see photos or videos of myself I hate them the first time I look at them. But then if I look at them again a week later I actually think I look better than I do in my head. It's really weird. I think it's just unsettling seeing ourselves from another person's perspective and wouldn't be possible if it weren't for technology, so can throw us off.

Have you ever seen yourself in a big mirror and thought you were someone else? I've had that! Seriously thought "why is this girl walking right up to me?" 🤣. I was a lot younger and a bit drunk at the time. I am not smart when I drink, hence the sobriety and username

Yes me! I have a wonky mouth which I had no idea about until I saw myself as a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding video.

DS drew a picture of me when he was around 6, drew 2 big lines around my mouth. I had no idea I had them.

I've also got one eye bigger than the other, was oblivious to that until someone pointed it out to me!

I have a huge overbite and one eye markedly different in size/shape to the other - neither of which I'd noticed until I spotted myself in some photos taken at a friend's wedding. Strange isn't it?

I look totally different in the mirror to how I look in photos (obviously worse in photos) and both those images are completely different to how I look in my head

Ive got opposite body dysmorphia where I think I look really good and get a bit of a shock when I see the reflection back. Then I ignore it and go back to how I think I look!!!

Unfortunately I’ve gained 5 kilos, all in my belly. I look about the same from the front, but am shocked to catch my reflection in profile

I think people often subconsciously compensate for what they see as shortfalls when they look in the mirror or take a selfie. Adjust their posture to minimise any excess weight; hold their head to disguise large nose/overbite/double chin, stand up straight with shoulders back, pout a bit to suck cheeks in etc. So 'candid' photographs taken by other people can look bad by comparison, especially if they are taken from a particularly unflattering angle.

I don't think any of us have a true grasp of how we really look, unless we are regularly seeing ourselves in video fornat from all angles. And even then it's not accurate, as mirrors and cameras flip our faces. When we look in the mirror we don't see what everyone else sees. It's probably best not to get to hung up on these things, it's not good for your mental health. Are you showered, deoderised, teeth cleaned, wearing clean clothes which fit, brushed your hair? If yes, just crack on with your day and don't sweat the small stuff.

I want to know what the magic formula is!
I have a friend who is lovely looking, and sometimes in photos she looks really strange but mostly looks STUNNING.
I think I look nice in the mirror then barely recognise myself in photos, but I think it's the way that the asymmetry we all have in our features plays out on my face?
I also wonder if any other glasses wearers find this - I have worn them full time my entire life, so they are part of my face and I am naked without them, but when I see myself in photos I'm thinking 'oh, she wears glasses' - if that makes any sense at all??

I did something similar with my freckles. I'm very freckly. Always have been. Never really thought about it. And then a comment in my 40s made me realise for the first time that being very freckly is A Bad Thing. Like you, it opened the floodgates to all the other times people had made comments and I hadn't noticed! I was also rather relieved for my younger self that she had no idea :)