I look like shit.

[WalksLikeACrab]

Just that really. I’ve got zero confidence. I hate my face, it’s hideous. I’m trying solid skincare but I still look awful. I’ve had a ‘naive’ haircut and I still look awful.

how do I tackle this? I am a size 8 but clothes look silly on me. I want to look and feel confident and I don’t know how to do that. I have tried going shopping and trying different outfits but I just can’t seem to find my style or make myself look attractive.

Where do I start? I’m not very fashionable but I’d love to look ‘cool’. I’m a mum and since I had DC I’m so much worse. I basically live in jeans and jtoo big jumpers and a shit bun (which looks crap on me as I have - have always had!- a weird sort of receding hairline)

I eat well, drink lots of water and exercise but my skin and hair are horrible, I can’t do make up no matter how many tutorials I watch and I just can’t dress myself! If I had the money I’d go see a stylist but can’t afford that sadly.
I follow lots of fashion and beauty influencers but nothing seems to work for me.

What helped you transform yourself to make yourself comfortable and proud of your look?

I have used her forum a lot to be fair. I also saw someone in boots, some sort of skin therapist person, I used an online scanner and the results were horrifically dire, and I saw a local lady but I couldn’t afford all the things she recommended, from regular red light therapy to Botox and filler.

I have cut out lots of actives except for the tretanoin.

OP,

Your skin looks fine, perhaps you are caught up in a downward spiral? The RH photo wasn’t taken at the most flattering angle but that could happen to the most beautiful woman in the world.

This is not a criticism but in terms of facial shapes, the first photo suggests that you are a bit long from eyebrow to jaw. I think people with this feature may benefit from the softening effects of a bit of hair around the sides of the face. (Ask me how I know). So these photos won’t be the most flattering

Would you consider a bit of layering or whatever to soften your hair at the sides? It is a great colour for you, BTW

You can buy red light therapy machines on amazon. I got a cheap one that lasted for years till I broke it and got one you lie under instead.

Im not keen on caroline herons either, her skins not looking so great now.

I am also very sorry about the loss of your DH, @FormerlyPathologicallyHappy

And I agree with you about CH.

Firstly you do not look shit. We are so ludicrously harsh on ourselves, seeing faults no one else sees. A lot of is about attitude. We can’t change what we have, only our response. Your issues sound more psychological to me; years ago I would have thought no, it’s me, I just need to find the right lipstick/top/bra/whatever. The right whatever has never really dramatically improved my self image.

With age, we might start to get a bit despondent about wrinkles etc but we probably look as youthful as we will ever will again. Don’t let that keep passing you by.

I agree on the points already made.
Keep going with the Dermatica plus SPF
Make up is not the be all and end all particularly if your skin is in good shape. You have good eyebrows which is a great start.
You could do colour analysis but also a style analysis because there is a science to finding things that suit, eg how long your neck is, how broad your shoulders are. Just tiny things like how wide tshirt sleeves gape from the arm make a big difference. If you’re quite petite you may easily feel drowned in the current fashions but there are always ways to incorporate trends if you want to.
I always recommend Melissa Murrell on YouTube on body shapes.

OP is your hair thick or thin?

Your nose isn't big and your lips aren't tiny. You're being way too hard on yourself. I can't see any eye bags either. You absolutely don't need any filler either.

Agree with this. Given your state of mind I should have been more explicit that you look fine! Your colouring, eyes and brows are beautiful.

Most of us could benefit from tweaking. No one sees the need for more than that. You fit in well amongst the 90% of us who look ‘just fine’ at present but have reason to think that maybe if we choose to we could look a bit better.

Concur with this absolutely. OP just needs a little tweaking, some new clothes and most importantly, some self-love and belief, not only that she doesn't look like shit (which she don't) but in herself. I think some OP needs to work on her mental health/self-esteem far more than anything else.

I have used her forum a lot to be fair. I also saw someone in boots, some sort of skin therapist person, I used an online scanner and the results were horrifically dire, and I saw a local lady but I couldn’t afford all the things she recommended, from regular red light therapy to Botox and filler.

Problem is those are all basically salespeople pushing product sales.

Anyway, truly no one is seeing what you're seeing in your photo, OP. I think the issue is your perception and harsh judgment of yourself.

I’m sure John Lewis do an online stylist session too.