Office wear for menopausal women who've had enough of your shit

[Fizzyq]

And who aren't as wealthy as they'd like to be.

Top priority is comfortable and not too hot, because these days it's always too hot, except when its suddenly cold. So I guess layers.

Not too tight, not too shapeless, not too expensive, not too cheap and nasty, not too fussy, not too old ladyish. This seems to rule basically everything out. I'm so sick of looking for stuff and not being able to find anything, and it doesn't help that my patience with anything that isn't straightforward these days is basically zero.

How hard can it be to find some reasonable smart casual (not jeans) stuff to wear to work that won't piss me off all day? Apparently it's impossible. But it can't be, surely.

If you work in an office environment and just can't be arsed with any twattery these days, what do you wear? Please help me before I have some kind of menopausal Falling Down moment and lose my mind.

I know it sounds batty given the, er, spring we've just had but as the climate continues to heat up employers are going to have to get more realistic about this - still absurd that there's no legal maximum temperature in the workplace.

Our newly installed management cadre are interpreting the uniform and dress code policy as they want to. It's pointless going to HR but is one of the most bonkers things I've seen in my years in the workplace - no white or sports trainers being the one that has me scratching my head most given the type of environment we work in; yet silly little ballet pumps that offer no arch support and are likely to fall off your feet or skid on many floor surfaces are apparently fine. As are long artificial nails and/or bright nail polish.

But I digress, as a grumpy post menopausal woman I'm planning on wearing mainly linen and cotton this coming week, mostly in light colours and as flowing as possible, wide trousers, long skirts, and tops in a fabric as thin as I can find without being hauled in by the self appointed dress code police (if they would actually do their jobs instead of sticking their noses into everything they wouldn't have the time to faff about with this kind of nonsense).

I have had to scrummage about under the bed to retrieve my single box of summer lightweight wear however and I will be carrying water, a fan, and possibly a rolled up straw hat at all times. I'm really going to be missing being able to work from home this summer where I could have sat in a top and shorts and put a cardigan on for Teams calls...

This is me, too. I used to be slender. Now, not so much. I've suddenly got much wider hips and a stomach that gives me a sillouette not dissimilar to that of Mr Greedy.

I know. At the moment it seems like everyone is talking about the menopause and its effect on women their 40s and 50s. So @ForGreyKoala must be in a hell of a bubble to have avoided hearing about all this.

Last week I went to a work conference and in the toilets there was a poster about the organisation's menopause support group and it listed about a dozen symptoms associated with menopause and perimenopause and I think my life has been significantly affected by about 10 of them

As well as problems like hot flushes/always feeling hot and sweaty and weight gain/changing shape so your clothes all suddenly don't fit there's also the lack of confidence and being unhappy about not liking what you see in the mirror in just about everything you try on in shops.

Meant to add, I've done a lot of scouring of Vinted, eBay etc and newer linen trousers have come from Tu, New Look, and Marks and Spencer but as a very vertically challenged individual I am grateful I have a partner who's fantastic at sewing as even the short trousers are always around three inches too long. I've also been known to haunt the £1 rail at the local charity shops as in the north west of England summer won't be lasting long...

We have a dress code at work. I have to wear smart, professional clothes.
I wear trousers and a blouse and jumper when it’s cold. I travel in trainers and keep a pair of flat black shoes at work. Sometimes I wear dresses with thick tights and a cardigan.
In summer I wear cotton midi dresses, the floral ones MN hate but they look smart and feel comfortable.I also have a selection of linen skirts, all below the knee. I wear these with plain tops and take a cardigan too. I keep a scarf at work in case I get cold-a lightweight dressy one which surprisingly keeps me warm.
When it’s really warm I keep pair of wedge sandals at work in a light colour as the black shoes are a bit much.
I do keep a black jacket at work but to be honest I can’t wear it. It isn’t comfortable to work in, hence why I take a cardigan.

I'd agree with natural fabrics and loose fits.

Linen and dresses, they are everywhere and in all the prices.

Those of you who wear linen - how do you avoid looking like a crumpled mess in it? I only have to look at a linen shirt for it to crease, so tend to avoid for work.

I have one pair of linen mix trousers that aren't too bad, but whatever the linen is mixed with makes them far less cool than pure linen which defeats the object.

I'd love to look cool and elegant in linen, but generally wind up looking more like Wurzel Gummidge.

uk.muji.eu/products/womens-high-twist-34-sleeve-crew-neck-cardigan-19186

Recently been wearing these lightweight 'knitted' cotton cardigans from Muji for a light layer. Can't yet vouch for longevity.

I only buy natural fibres and try to avoid patterns. Either wide trousers (usually cos) and a fitted top or a cotton dress (me and em). I mostly buy on sale for work as these things are quite samey season on season

You change your mindset, not the linen. Embrace the relaxed look. Don't fight it. Once I had accepted that, I was much happier

(I never understood why linen was used so much in smart tailored looks in the 80s and 90s, that's not its vibe.)

I got a pair of wide leg 3/4 length trousers recently from the White Company and they are honestly like wearing pyjamas and look the right kind of relaxed smart, with a blouse or shirt, or sleeveless silk blouse plus blazer. They are black and thick enough to hang well but not hot and don’t show sweat!

I've been evangelising about the H&M cigarette trousers. The navy and black are cheap, cotton, wash a dream, don't crush. I'm not keen on the line down front - smart though - but ironed it out fine. I wear with nice shirts in cotton bought over years from Zara and other places. Sometimes a jersey fitted jacket if want to be extra smart. I do brogues or really comfy ballet flats or boots. Not a trainer to work fan except with jeans.

M&S are having a bit of a (good) moment. Probably a cut of jeans to suit everyone plus some good smart casual stuff in tops/ jackets.

Personally I can't stand linen. Too scratchy and looks like dogs breakfast on me. I'm not tall blond or wafting round St Tropez or Marbella sadly.

Got a tip from hand m staff member re the cigarette trousers / any high waisted trousers - she said go up a size from your usual - I did and was a better look

Dresses here, smart end of smart casual.

I tend to buy from Cos, Hush, Finery, Hobbs, Autograph and Soya Concept. I wear them with a blazer or tweed jacket, maybe with a lightweight polo if it is freezing.

I struggle to get trousers to fit in a way I'm happy with/hate my bum in trousers as a rule.

Thank you for this thread OP. I have spent a lot of today looking for something to wear when I do have to venture from my WFH cocoon and just getting more mardy. Why is it so flipping difficult, all I want are some plain, non clingy, hip length, stomach covering tops, In natural fabric with scoop or v necks with short (but not tight) or elbow length sleeves. Now I write it it seems a bit of a long ask but you know what I mean, sensible faff free tops. I see a lot of people go the dress route but as a tall bird, now with a meno belly and matronly boobs, I feel I look like Mrs Doubtfire in a dress and people will laugh. I did have my lower half sorted with Next Jersey Denim Jeggings but they have now changed the recipe and they are now really skimpy over the bum and don't stay up 🙄 so another fruitless search as I can hear anything non stretch anymore.

@Danceswithweasels M&S jegg8ngd aren't bad.

I think Seasalt might meet your top requirements.

Another site I like is Rapanui.

Jeggings!

Natural fabrics, linen and cotton, even light wool (for layering).

Can you wear tailored shorts?

I wear loose cropped trousers and cotton t shirt or sleeveless top and closed sandals for office.

I feel very hot even when wearing cotton now, but have found that anything in light merino wool works really well, it stops me from breaking into peri- menopausal sweats. Don’t buy there generally but M&S do sleeveless merino tops in 3 neutral colours for £27.50, they wash well but amazingly being wool and actually being breathable, they don’t need washing after every wear unlike everything else I wear lol. Work well with trousers of skirts and could be used as layers too :)

I have no imagination. I buy black trousers from M and S or Next and then nice tops from Vinted. I like Fat Face designs but you can get anything on Vinted.

Similar age and feelings about clothes. I wear a lot of long floaty dresses from brands with Nobody's Child with trainers.

I have to throw my weight around at work with engineers, on days when I need to kick ass, it’s wide leg trousers, plain top and a jacket. I have 2 jackets from Hobbs, not cheap but should be able to get them from Vinted.

I’ve not really got a face to argue with tho’ and I think most of us if a certain age have an “aura” of “don’t fuck with me”!

I have struggled with anything with a waist since menopause so smart trousers or skirts are out for me. In this weather I wear midi shirt dresses - elasticated or shirred waists a bonus - with wedge espadrilles or ballet flats. I can’t bear tights in this heat, so chub rub shorts underneath. My office is quite smart but I have seen a few people wearing white trainers with similar dresses. I feel your pain and agree I can’t be doing with twattery (excellent word) either.

Linen is cool but ironing when it's 30 degrees really isn't, so I rarely wear it. I mostly wear dresses in summer - currently wearing a lightweight Boden jersey knee length dress that I can add layers to if necessary.

Lightweight cotton T-shirts can be dressed up with a chunky necklace and any summery skirt.

Cotton underwear and roll on deodorant between thighs to stop them rubbing together. Comfortable flat shoes/sandals/wedges.

@soupfiend
I understand only too well! I am also incontinent so always panicking if I feel wet in the pants area!!!