Mother of the Bride ideas please!

[MrsAvocet]

I am not a stylish person - I live in leggings and sweatshirts most of the time - so I really need some advise regarding my DD's upcoming wedding.
It's in the Winter, in Scotland, so definitely not a floaty dress affair! I'm middle aged, short, a bit overweight (though working on that) and I've got a disability which really limits my footwear choices. I need flat, supportive shoes as I can't even get my feet into shoes with a heel these days, never mind walk in them.
To make matters a bit more complicated, DD would like me to wear our family tartan in some way. I don't really want to wear a kilt though as I think that would look very matronly and a bit odd anyway as quite a lot of the men will be in kilts. I'm thinking it will have to be a sash, belt or something over an ordinary outfit. But that probably restricts my colour choices as the tartan is a green/blue one.
I'm stumped to be honest. I don't get dressed up very often, and I don't want to be an embarrassment! Any advice would be appreciated.

https://www.jjshouse.com/separates-jumpsuit-pantsuit-scoop-floor-length-chiffon-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-sequins-beading-008298560-g298560?currency=GBP&utm_term=298560&utm_size=10&country=GB&country=GB&currency=GBP&ggntk=x&ggkey=&ggtgt=8&ggplm=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgovDLTo_smhlVMlTolBPnX95OooolNODdcXYKd_SYGDuLBYpH0Eo7lhoCNlUQAvD_BwE#/

What about something like this? You wouldn't really see your shoes with the long trousers, it would look good with a smart coat and you could have a hatinator with tartan in like this one
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/685948275/navy-blue-green-tartan-brown-pheasant?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_en_gb_b-accessories-hats_and_caps-fascinators_and_mini_hats-fascinators&utm_custom1=k_CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgoltrrINsMa946l5Sn757JFwdBsDn2jZruJfeKoPTTz9Noliw46BGbRoC1_sQAvD_BwE_k&utm_content=go_6479497369_81772923510_380845744483_aud-2079782229294:pla-316236541125_m__685948275engb_135162762&utm_custom2=6479497369&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgoltrrINsMa946l5Sn757JFwdBsDn2jZruJfeKoPTTz9Noliw46BGbRoC1_sQAvD_BwE

Sorry, I should have said - no hats or fascinators. Not only does DD not want me to wear one I'm so short that I just look like some kind of ridiculous mushroom with anything on my head. Trousers may be the way forward though I guess. Thanks for the suggestion.

Budget?

General vague idea of preferences?

Don't look at anything on any site which describes itself as "mother of the bride". It will be awful (usual disclaimer, "it's all personal subjective taste", but personally I'd refuse to leave the house, let alone attend a wedding if I had to wear anything from JJ's House or similar)

I agree your best option is something tartan on top of normal outfit.

This shop is in Edinburgh but does mail order. If it were me I'm afraid I wouldn't go any further than ordering some ribbon to wear as a hair tie/ Alice band. There will be gazillions of crafty people on Etsy and the like who could make you a hair tie or an Alice band. Or possibly a ribbon tied round my wrist. Anything more risks looking like a dancer from The White Heather Club

[Humza Yuosaf's wife looked terrible at the coronation with her tartan whatever it was tacked over a normal dress]

Tartan stuff

Or a corsage or brooch.

Corsages/ Brooches

They also do velvet bags with a touch of tartan which wouldn't be too tartany

If the men are going to be in kilts, could you wear long - there are some beautiful photos online of winter weddings with male guests in kilts/black tie and the ladies in long dresses. DD had black tie and the guests all looked fabulous. Suited me as I wear jeans daily! And being 5’ 2”” no hat was a bonus!

What about a navy blue velvet jumpsuit ? Or separates. You could wear with a tartan wrap.

Maybe some flat pump shoes and then add a shoe buckle of the same tartan?

www.next.co.uk/style/su092234/n60049#n60049

I second a velvet dress but you could get a seamstress to hem the bottom with the tartan. Or get an easy small drawstring bag made with the tartan.

www.next.co.uk/style/su105836/n18351#n18351

Could you get your tartan in a brushed cotton and have a lovely dress made up? 1980s Laura Ashley style? You would be so warm and comfortable could even have pockets.
type of dress

fabric

I ordered this for my Dds wedding it was horrible just really didn't sit right I'm short and it drowned me !

Oh the picture didn't show I meant the trouser suit

Id be thinking some sort of long sleeved velvet or satin ball gown....Floor length so that way you can wear your most comfortable shoes without them even having to match as they won't be seen. I'd add your family tartan in the form of a sash...I'd take one colour out of the tartan to match the dress to...so I'm imagining some sort of navy/dark green/burgundy colour dress

What about a smart blue trouser suit with a tartan waistcoat.

This is a lovely dress on, it's long but not too wide so it doesn't swamp you, if the blue or green tones with your tartan . I'd wear with black suede knee boots, treat yourself from Duo if necessary.

https://www.whistles.com/product/mila-textured-dress-37971.html

What about something like this?

www.wolfandbadger.com/uk/ava-velvet-jumpsuit-emerald/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=18057196750&utm_content=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgolOOf2A64HrmlZ7etpAxV9PXCpsyfXgkcTedc1CwRC1hHV8pPX5tuhoChW0QAvD_BwE

Maybe with a pin in the tartan like this:

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/643959812/flower-of-scotland-tartan-ribbon-rose?ref=share_v4_lx

Judi Dench style glam long tunic and trousers with tartan scarf/pashmina thrown nonchalantly over shoulder?

Thanks for all the suggestions and keep them coming please! I really have no idea what I want. I have never been particularly keen on dressing formally at the best of times and this is the first big event I have been to since I developed my disability and I'm feeling a bit self conscious about it. Well I've been a guest at a couple of things but I've just worn smartish trousers and a pair of Skechers and made sure I'm at the back in photos but as MoB obviously I can't do that.
Budget..I don't know really. I want to look decent but t's unlikely to be an outfit I get a lot of wear out of so I don't want to spend a fortune - couple of hundred pounds, maybe a bit more for something that really appeals. I found a company that does made to measure tartan dresses but I think they start at about £800 which is a lot more than I want to spend. I did think of ordering some material and finding a local dressmaker but even that's a lot of money. Unfortunately ours isn't a particularly common tartan so seems to come up quite expensive for just the material. I think it will have to be tartan accents rather than a full outfit!

How about https://scottesque.co.uk/ Scottesque for non-matronly tartan skirts and dresses as well? E.g. the Maxi kilt to wear with a neat fitted jacket (wool or velvet), you could wear a fitted cashmere sweater or Hobbs-type jersey top underneath that would be comfortable for the inevitable ceilidh.

Ooh I like that 50s style dress @NotMeNoNo and though they don't do it in exactly the right tartan they've got a very close one on the list. I don't know what I'd wear on my feet though. Would I get away with flat knee high boots with that or would I look stupid?
(And no ceilidh to worry about - when your feet are too damaged to go in a pair of shoes dancing is permanently off the menu I'm afraid.)

@MrsAvocet try Pavers for shoes I can't wear heels either I bought a pair from there, they were soft leather and had laces

The tartan dress you like is lovely! Best check whether DD approves of the similar tartan - I do hope so!

Yes I appreciate about the dancing, I was just thinking about the overall relaxed atmosphere (judging from last Scottish wedding I went to). Being winter I would wear flat black or navy suede ankle or ideally knee boots. Duo do extra widths if needed, they are pricey but you would definitely be able to wear them again. There should be more in the shops in a couple of months. I notice the Queen is quite a fan of her suede boots so if it's good enough for her...

Thanks @Mrsjayy but my footwear needs are very difficult to meet and have been all my life but have got a lot worse in the last few years. Footwear is non negotiable, basically trainers or flat boots. I need to build an outfit round what's on my feet as there's really no hope of me being able to do it the other way round unfortunately. After much frustration I'm resigned to that now.