Mother of the Bride ideas please!

[MrsAvocet]

I am not a stylish person - I live in leggings and sweatshirts most of the time - so I really need some advise regarding my DD's upcoming wedding.
It's in the Winter, in Scotland, so definitely not a floaty dress affair! I'm middle aged, short, a bit overweight (though working on that) and I've got a disability which really limits my footwear choices. I need flat, supportive shoes as I can't even get my feet into shoes with a heel these days, never mind walk in them.
To make matters a bit more complicated, DD would like me to wear our family tartan in some way. I don't really want to wear a kilt though as I think that would look very matronly and a bit odd anyway as quite a lot of the men will be in kilts. I'm thinking it will have to be a sash, belt or something over an ordinary outfit. But that probably restricts my colour choices as the tartan is a green/blue one.
I'm stumped to be honest. I don't get dressed up very often, and I don't want to be an embarrassment! Any advice would be appreciated.

Yes I need to build outfits round shoes I hope you find something.

I think you're worrying far too much about footwear. A pair of flat boots will look good with anything. Have you already got some 'smart' boots that are suitable for you?

There are also shoe-like trainers everywhere now: soft leather, many come in wide fittings, and not necessarily expensive (Next do some for about £30 iirc).

I think you should go shopping with DD, I'm not sure what area you're in but there are occasionwear shops that will have a different selection to the high street, e.g. Catherine's of Patrick. They do MoB but also general occasionwear which can be a bit cheaper. We got my mum a MoB outfit that was quite £, but another dress that was about £180 in those sort of shops. I'd also be thinking of a hair tie or some sort of tartan accessory, rather than a full tartan outfit. If DD wants to dictate you wear full tartan, she needs to be paying for it like if you were being provided a kilt. Can you just get a pair of on-trend trainers, e.g. Sambas, so it looks intentional? Or get a maxi dress so you can't see your feet?

Flat boots sound perfect, and the ankle support might be welcome too (have similar foot issues, and that works well for me). What colours are in the family tartan? Then we could look for a dress or jumpsuit to be complemented by a sash or something else of the sort.

https://www.debenhams.com/product/chapter-london-ava-velvet-jumpsuit_p-141912a7-bf95-423d-bd3b-27734edefd9b?colour=Emerald&size=14&istCompanyId=76f7277d-6e78-4dc2-aaff-1eb77fae16b0&istFeedId=258a4886-8f3c-47ef-9369-d1eda8d84501&istItemId=riaaarpap&istBid=t&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgoi5EqAm6hDGLxcu4C30ad247CkC992cmd6_xLjcMJzsxfln9OIyj8hoC6w0QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I’d go for a plain but classy longish dress or trousers keep it simple and have a tartan sash. Once you have your outfit you can then look out for shoes.

Maybe try Strive, Ecco, Vionic, Hotter and Fitflop (they don’t just do flip flop styles) offer comfortable shoes and arch support.

I do appreciate the footwear suggestions but honestly I think I've exhausted all possibilities on that front. Regular shoe shops don't cater for my size (they're ridiculously small) and I had to buy from specialist shops even before my multiple operations. Now I'm full of metalwork with fused joints so it's even harder. Even boots are hard to find as I need some small enough for my feet but that aren't designed for the calves of an average seven year old and with zips that undo right down to the feet as I can't point my foot to get it in. I do have one pair that are a getting a bit old but will hopefully polish up ok. It's crap, but I have just had to learn to live with that so please don't anyone waste their time looking for shoes for me. Finding shoes that fit has been a lifelong mission for me and I've given up now!

https://prettykittyfashion.co.uk/products/copy-of-pretty-blue-vintage-a-line-crossover-capped-sleeve-tea-swing-dress?variant=32326938099761&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgooVOkqmqfGgMHTtWUp9m9FUgeeMi0d-TAPNt9uvigpqnilaB2uPtZxoCpiEQAvD_BwE

Or

https://www.debenhams.com/product/ever-pretty-elegant-long-sleeve-v-neck-high-low-chiffon-wedding-guest-dress_p-b1d5cc73-138c-4784-b753-4e354a388daa?colour=Navy&size=8&istCompanyId=76f7277d-6e78-4dc2-aaff-1eb77fae16b0&istFeedId=258a4886-8f3c-47ef-9369-d1eda8d84501&istItemId=laqmmxapp&istBid=t&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgomF5CAZr4Pq0zc9ICA7f2wLtA2kDM9Am8Gdnix20PWX2ye0XO4uBohoC22sQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Or
Over budget but beautiful 😍
https://www.aspiga.com/products/sequin-victoria-dress-blue?variant=42312744501428&currency=GBP&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=&ate_adgroup=&ate_campaign=19958856894&form=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgoucb5Cym0YVXFRf1DaQGEvq63ZcFqsd-Sn0YaSauRtNpr6X11MsiaBoCEiwQAvD_BwE

All could be worn with a tartan sash

Try Nancy Mac her velvet or silk jumpsuits are lovely and as it’s a wide ish leg you wouldn’t see your shoes so could wear what you want on your feet

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1449088999/girls-dress-shoes-sequin-glitter-mary?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_en_gb_d-shoes-girls_shoes-mary_janes&utm_custom1=k_CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgouVzfRIAwso8MS0C7bDFuDk-b4UASwM93FP6i2YqHM0sBdphYX0hxRoCAVIQAvD_BwE_k&utm_content=go_6479719673_78113913499_380846592688_aud-1184048147899:pla-355167181423_m__1449088999engb_157101748&utm_custom2=6479719673&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgouVzfRIAwso8MS0C7bDFuDk-b4UASwM93FP6i2YqHM0sBdphYX0hxRoCAVIQAvD_BwE

Know you said forget footwear..but possibly some sparkly trainers with tartan laces??

This would be lovely depending on your colouring (and if it coordinates with your tartan).

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/314992701631?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=de2w9mvbtla&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=qkqSeZUYT9u&var=613480790101&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

This is a good time of year to pick up a bargain on velvet dresses that are actually made from decent fabric. Basically what didn't sell at Christmas. Seasalt have at least one other on their outlet. Thought Clothing also has one that is a dupe for Vampires Wife.

https://www.woolovers.com/womens/dresses/alleegra-organic-cotton-velvet-midi-dress-vintage-rose-pink-30662?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrqzBhAoEiwAXVpgotnC8iBeZ5eEIRiGFZxtCd8UPI9oxcpAvnPkylM0URmX3gReqB2bVBoCEEYQAvD_BwE

Ooh..thank you @Duckies ...that Seasalt dress could be just the thing, and a bargain indeed! I think I will order one. Our tartan is green/blue/white so I could definitely accessorise that dress. I'm dieting in the hope of being a bit thinner by the day but I guess if I get one that fits now I can always get it altered and at that prices it's not a big risk to take if it doesn't end up fitting. Thanks!

I love the idea of a tartan coat over a jewel coloured dress with boots. If your tartan in rare, that might be harder to find. I also like the look of the shawls in tartan, especially for a winter wedding.

I have bought shoes from.etsy im.also small.size I do get it honestly it's the bane of my life.

If your DD wants you to wear your family tartan it should be that actual tartan, not just 'something similar'. A plaid, over one shoulder, might look better than a sash (could be a bit White Heather Club). Alternatively a handbag made in the fabric and/or a rosette style brooch? You should be able to buy fabric or ribbon in your tartan.

If your DD wants you to wear your family tartan it should be that actual tartan, not just 'something similar"
I don't particularly want to give my family name on here but there are multiple branches that have subtly different tartans. I've been brought up to believe we're descended from X of Y but if X of Z tartan proves easier to come by I won't be losing any sleep over it. You'd probably need to be an expert to be able to tell the difference anyway. Not to mention an expert genealogist to unpick my messy mixed Scottish/Irish/English family tree to know which of the multiple options is "right", if it's even possible to do so.