Wedding guest - I've been an ostrich - please help

[ADress]

I've had ages, but I'd hoped to lose more weight so I've had my head in the sand and now I've run out of time! Ideally I wouldn't spend money of a new dress or accessories, but I can do if it will make me feel really good.

I'm 5'3, size 16, mid forties, and with a lumpy tummy as a particular problem.

The only dress I have at home as an option is the navy pattered one. It fits and is nice and forgiving around the middle. Plus I like that the worst of my upper arms are slightly covered. But I don't think the length is the most flattering. What do you think of it?

For comparison, the white patterned dress is a Phase Eight which I was helped to find on here a few years ago when I'd lost weight. It doesn't do up any more so it's not an option but I'm sharing the photo for comparison of the different length dress. I feel like the length is better, but the under bust band style could be a bit too maternity at the moment and I'd prefer my arms covered.

Please let me have your kind thoughts and suggestions. Any new ideas would need to come from somewhere who will deliver quickly like Next or John Lewis.

I'm 65 and I wouldn't wear any of those dresses.

I don't think they are "suitable for older women" or other ageist nonsense (appreciate that's not what you're saying) but they look like the sort of dresses designed by someone who thinks women over 50 or 60 or whatever should wear dreary dresses.

Number 5. The fit is lovely. The length suits your preference for the longer length as you stated on the OP.

I also like the fit of 3, although my personal preference is for block colours hence why I love 5.

I like 3, 5 and 6 :-)

Yes for clarity I'm definitely not saying the dresses would only be nice on a woman of 60, my phrasing of 'dig it out of her wardrobe' was meant to suggest it wouldn't be one of her better outfits. My mum went to a few weddings last year (one, mine, as MoB) and had two stunning outfits she wore, each time styled a bit differently. But she did make a big effort for those, she's not naturally stylish and her usual 'safe' outfits would be similar to what the OP is looking at (similar shape too), and I get the feeling OP does want to play it a bit safe.

You could wear something like sloggi short knickers under it to avoid the chub rub. M&S do their own version and Primark which are both good.

Out of those I think 6 is the nicest. But I agree they’re all a bit “safe” still, bit old fashioned……..but you’d look nice in any of them.

If you’re in a hurry ax Paris at Next might be quick delivery I’m mid 40s, petite and a size 16. I’d be looking at stuff like this.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su255189/n72055#n72055

https://www.next.co.uk/style/ls432005/n29503#n29503

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su087361/880286#880286

The right one is nicer. Both fine. Is there a seamstress who could change the neckline on the blue dress? A lower or V would make a necklace possible.

It can be hard to get out of your comfort zone and go for a completely new style though.

What would you suggest then?

I agree, for me, I wouldn’t wear any of these and I’m 52. But if you’re not body confident and don’t have time to go to a personal stylist (eg at JL), then you’ll do as OP has done and err on safe options.

1 and 5 are lovely!

Just seen re the shapewear. If you do want to wear shapewear you’ll probably have to spend money and get Spanx. The shoes are nice though. A bit on the safe side but nice.

My current outfits or even choices are:-

• Coast 1950s white floral (with colors) dress
• Monsoon long blue with stars dress
• Oliver Bonas black floral (big pink and orange flowers) midi dress which opens at side
• Coast blue with lace dress more fitted.
• another dress I got this year which is much floral, green pastel but buttons up. Can’t recall where it’s from offhand.

I’ve got blue/silver Esska shoes or a cream satin t bar block heel shoe.

Plus I have bags (too many!) and evening jackets/throws.

I had to go to a Christening and race days (grand national etc) this year so rotated all of the above apart from the Monsoon and blue Coast dress.

My best friend is a similar height and shape to you, but is or was a size 20. Think she’s now an 18 or 16 as she’s lost weight recently due to keto. She also does regular Pilates and you wouldn’t believe the difference it makes to toning up her body.

She has events through work to attend as well as non work ones and though she likes shopping finds it a nightmare to find things to fit as her problem area is also her tummy, but she used to go to Debenhams when it was open to get occasion dresses.

'It can be hard to get out of your comfort zone and go for a completely new style though.'

That's a really good point actually. I never wear tight clothes as I'm wedded to baggy/floaty/rtc.

I normally avoid reposting as it fills the thread up so much
But @CormorantStrikesBack I think your choices are great, even the high split one which I initially thought no way .

Thanks @Thisoldheartofmine . I long ago came to the conclusion that hiding under looser type styles does nobody any favours, just looks frumpy.

That third dress the split does look a bit high but on someone who is 5ft 3” will be lower down, maybe just above the knee. The possible issue will be if the dresses look too long and need taking up. Some styles look ok just been longer than intended but others don’t.

@Bumbleebeetree that one you posted is lovely
https://www.coastfashion.com/product/yumi-green-frill-wrap-dress-with-tassel-detail_p-b6693066-7674-43ac-b810-ba8a8fcce509?colour=Green&utm_source=awin&utm_medium=affiliates&utm_campaign=Skimlinks&utm_term=78888&utm_content=coastuk&sv1=affiliate&sv_campaign_id=78888&sv_campaign_id=78888&sv_tax1=affiliate&sv_tax2=&sv_tax3=Skimlinks&sv_tax4=mumsnet.com&sv_affiliateId=78888&awc=57411_1718444157_1e87802d78f3c919b86510c61bb35191

"came to the conclusion that hiding under looser type styles does nobody any favours, just looks frumpy."
You're so right @CormorantStrikesBack .I think taller people who are large can look fab in that lagen look stuff , but if you're short you need something more fitted .
Though I do personally tend towards the loose frumpy dark coloured stuff

If it were me, and I was a friend of OP’s I’d take her out shopping with an honest eye!

I like to think I have a good eye for fashion, if not for me, then sometimes for others. But I’ve certainly had some faux pas fashion wise when younger though I more or less know what suits me now. My best friend who I’ve referred to here, she struggles with her size though was slim when younger. Doesn’t help her sister, older by 10 years, is blonde, stunning and the kind who can wear a sack and it looks good!

I have the same issues to dress around as you and I was looking at this. It has several advantages:

1. It's petite so will be the right length
2. It has darts around the waist/bust so will (hopefully) create shape in that area for you
3. It's plain and has no flounces, so more flattering on a bigger body
4. It's versatile: youcan pair it with a beige blazer for a wedding, denim jackets for the office, just some sandals in the evening on holiday

I prefer the green but it's only available in regular which is 120cm in length so would probably swamp you.

https://www.hobbs.com/product/sandra-dress/0224-5885-9045L00-BEGONIA-RED-14.html?utm_source=linkshare&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Redbrain&utm_content=15&utm_term=UKNetwork&ranMID=38595&ranSiteID=pfxNKSnglIM-x7B39HhE9meRbJN9f2lcAg&siteID=pfxNKSnglIM-x7B39HhE9meRbJN9f2lcAg&PubName=Redbrain&SID=3354356

Sometimes if you’re larger you suit clothes and styles which someone slimmer would never suit. It’s all about finding the right style for you.

6

I like 1.

I think this thread shows that whatever anyone wears, someone will dislike it, so why overthink it?

OP has probably left it too late but if I were really stuck I'd search dresses on Liberty, MyTheresa, Harvey Nick's, Coggles etc, filter to my budget ( there's loads on sale) and size. Those sites will bring up brands which can be searched more fully on their own websites.

On the high street, Anthropologie, Cos, Nobody's Child, &Other Stories, some , but not all Monsoon. Probably not Coast or Phase Eight.

Online online, Ganni, Farm Rio, Rixo, Batsheva, Palava amongst many others.

I don't think those dresses are "safe" . "Safe" would be something like Max Mara or Jasper Conran- obviously very pricey but so well made and styled it'd be impossible to get it wrong.

Have a look on vinted OP I got a lovely brand new monsoon dress for peanuts. The navy dress looks nice tho

Both are lovely. Add a jacket or shrug and with your hat or fascinator and buttonhole you will look stunning.