do you 'dress for your shape' i.e. to make some bits look smaller etc

[GoodieMcTwoshoes]

I feel like I should as I'm a bit of an 'English pear' shape at the moment, but there are so many pretty skirts that aren't black/dark.

No. My clothes get compliments. I don't notice this phenomenon on me or anyone else. If I pay a compliment it's about the item of clothing. I'd say "I love that dress" I'd never say "that suits you/ that colour suits you"

Yes, within reason. Comfort comes first, but I do dress in particular shapes and styles which accentuate my good bits and don't cling to the bad.

I used to love wearing polo neck jumpers, but I just can't any more as my sagging neck overhangs the fabric.

What a horrid thing to say but I suppose that's the extreme end of where "dress to suit your shape" thinking can lead to.

I'd never say that suits you/ that colour suits you isn’t what the poster said though. The question is whether certain colours make it more likely you’ll be complimented. “You look lovely today” or “I love your top” as it’s not immediately obvious to the observer why something looks particularly good.

I'm really enjoying watching Erica Davies on Instagram lately- she has taken against the word flattering, and pointed out that by flattering, people mean slim, which is very true! And instead she dresses to be interesting.

I'm with Erica. Whenever you try and drill into what someone means when they say something suits them or is flattering, it invariably boils down to making them look younger or thinner.

And what does rile me a bit sometimes - and I'll probably regret saying this but I've just downed a espresso in one go so hey - is when people talk about choosing clothes this way as if it's a more intelligent way to dress. I mean sure, if it gives you confidence and helps you feel good then great, crack on, but none of it is peer reviewed science.

I would never say "you look lovely today" to anyone and other than from my husband I'd be quite taken aback if a work colleague or random stranger said it.

For me to give a compliment comes down entirely to the item of clothing. Obviously if the item of clothing is a style and a colour I like, the colour comes into play there, but that would apply regardless of the "colours" of who was wearing it.

Yes I do - shape, colour and style as well. According to what I personally want to highlight though, and not necessarily what the mainstream fashion considers appropriate to show or hide.

For example, I have big boobs, I don't think I need to hide them. But if I wear anything high necked, I just look wide and mumsy, which is not a look I prefer. On the other hand, you often see advice how to hide your wide shoulders - I have no issues with having wide shoulders, I've worked hard to have stong muscular shoulders, so will happily show them off. And I have strong calves, skinny jeans make me look like a parsnip, so I don't wear them, no matter if they are in or not.

For colours, I disagree with some previous posters that the colours don't matter and it's all about the garment. I get compliments if I wear my best colours, even if the garment is a plain t-shirt. Maybe less pale people don't have such a strong effect, but I look literally ill in some colours.

And also style - if I go for an airy-fairy lace ditsy flowery style, I look like I'm trying to cosplay a little girl. If I go the other extreme, plain simple scandi style, I look like a bloke. Kibbe Soft Dramatic really works for me though.

Figuring all this out makes shopping a lot easier, and all my clothes can be combined. No random orange tops that never get worn.

@Floisme while I do agree with you (although I don't follow that myself enough, as I said), I think that given the demographics on Mumsnet, most posters who come on for advice on an outfit, are after looking for certain proportions in their bodies- whether it's to show off waist or minimise bust/ bum, or whatever typical shape they are trying to portray.
I think this is changing, and that those in their early 20s/ late teens are already getting to a point where clothes don't need to be necessarily flattering, although they generally do play into whichever other step types are in fashion. But for most- not all- people posting here, they are looking for the most flattering outfit for them.

I personally love reading the threads where alternative suggestions are going on, and interesting outfits are being suggested, but I do find that those are often of a maximalist (?) style, whether through the pattern or lots of ruffles, etc. The Margaret Howell thread was interesting too, but very spendy!

While I take your point @Floisme, I think on this board at least, dressing in anything flattering is considered deeply thick. Wanting to look even mildly good is for the plebs. Choosing a colour that suits you, how very dare you! 😂

Wanting to look interresting: well that's for the connoisseurs! That's the impression I get anyway.

I'm with @TulipsAndForgetmenots I have broad shoulders and slim arms so cut in armholes work better than cap sleeves on me. My bust size increased considerably with menopause - as I'm short with a flat butt, I hated it and started using minimiser bras. Then I watched an IG video about shirts with pockets and tops with high necklines emphasising the bust area. I now tend to avoid both.

Re colours, whenever I wear yellow/orange I get compliments. Oyster and dusty pink wash me out and purple is a definite no no. I have a Mediterranean complexion.

I have noticed the younger generation are much freer in the way they dress for all shapes and sizes and wear body tight stuff if it pleases them and I love that attitude.

I can't model it entirely, I do think about how things look and tend to wear things that 'flatter' (I don't give a shit if some influencer doesn't like the term) because then I feel more confident in them- I don't mean feel self-conscious if something isn't flattering, I mean go out with my head held high thinking I look as good as I can today and I like my own outfit.

I don't dress to be interesting though, I'm not creative enough, I dress to live my life and once out of the house, I don't give it any thought, same with make-up. I like to feel good when I leave home and then not think about it for the rest of the day.

I sometimes dress to be interesting
But sometimes not. Depending on the occasion.

There are certain occasions where I am the only brown woman in the room. I don't need to be wearing my fuchsia sari fabric dress made by a tailor in Mumbai to stand out even more. I would be better off wearing my M and S jeans and a Seasalt breton.

The logical conclusion of 'wear what you like' is shutting down the S&B boards altogether because only small minded fools think that others are looking at them anyway.

There's at least one comment to that effect on every long thread based on occasion dressing. 'wear what you want, no one cares' which isn't exactly style advice.

Most women over thirty do want to look their best on occasion, or even on the day to day. I can't see that changing. Even my 90 year old gran spent ages choosing her special birthday outfit, and took advice from all of us. She looked so lovely, I'm glad she knew she'd nailed it.

I definitely dress to correct my figure. In particular to minimise my bust which is really out of proportion and my short legs. I wear the right colours mostly. It makes a massive difference. But obviously I’m only correcting to an artificial ideal.

That's fine - you say what annoys you and I say what annoys me!

The way I see it, I am dressing myself. I'm part of the picture. That makes it a more interesting artistic challenge for me, and it satisfies my vanity better. To me, some of these posts are like dressing a leg of lamb with, I don't know, an interesting variety of custard, and saying you don't care or notice if it tastes nice with the lamb, because you just really like the custard. And actually, I'm all for being inventive with cooking as with clothes, but not to the point of erasing the base ingredient (i.e. me!).

I do see why people react against what seems like a fear-based prescriptive approach. For me, there are things I avoid because they're not flattering, but I don't cry myself to sleep about the shape of my legs, I would just rather accentuate the bits I do want to show off.

I agree. I don't necessarily dress to make myself look slimmer. I will be a size 18 regardless, and nothing I wear is going to trick people into thinking I'm a 12 again.

So essentially either I accepted that I couldn't wear things/styles I like because I'm a chubster and feel bad about myself, or I could just accept that I am the size I am, and wear styles I like. I doubt anyone thinks less of me for that. I think I have a good sense of style, whether my bum/waist/tummy or whatever looks its best or not.

I also acknowledge that dieting would be a solution here, but due to medication and ADHD I find that a real challenge....and not one I'm up for at the moment.

Erica Davies does that influencer thing of putting on bright, oversize clothes then styling her hair, applying red lipstick and wearing a cross body bag.

Without the hair, the lippy and the bag it's just big clothes. I don't have time to sleeken my hair every day, cross body bags are horribly uncomfy on me and never big enough for all the stuff I need, and I look like the Joker if I attempt anything approaching red lipstick.

So although her style looks great, it's smoke and mirrors to an extent. Most middle aged women won't look zingy and stylish in bright, large garments unless they style the crap out of them.

She doesn't look over styled to me. It's the outfits which are doing the heavy lifting.

Her hair is the same length as mine looks no more styled than mine (e.g did I drag a brush through it this morning? Failing which low ponytail or shove it up and stick hairpins in)

I think there is a middle ground though between 'wear what you want' and 'pick things that flatter'.
Most women know what looks godawful on them tend to steer away from certain styles.
However I think as you get older you also start playing it safer and worrying that a particular fit or colour might be too much or look too young.....thats when you should say 'fuck it!' IMO. If you think something might look good then you shouldnt let convention put you off.

Yes I do. I have huge boobs, so I don’t wear things like turtle necks because I end up looking like I have a shelf. I wear high waisted jeans to hide my ‘mum tum’. I like to feel good in my clothes, and I don’t feel good if I’m conscious of things like my stomach.

I wear what I like the look of in the shop, and what I feel comfortable in. I find it hard to find clothes that actually fit my shape - short, curvy, with long legs/short torso. So I prob so dress for my shape to an extent because I avoid stuff I feel shit in. And that changes according to what's in fashion and the shapes/styles/colours available.
I also don't think I know all the "rules" though, and I def break some so it's not really a thing.

I find I am ridiculously drawn to navy - so I currently have a ban on buying anything navy. I seek out bright colours instead because I love colour.

On the topic of colour, my dd put on a bright yellow top the other day and her dad and I both went "wow" . She has the exact same top in bright blue which is lovely on her, but the yellow made her skin, hair and eyes glow. So I think there are def colours that suit our skin tone, hair colour, etc more than other colours.

Yes I'm an inverted triangle with a large rack so I need to avoid the busty barmaid look (or the even worse loose top dangling straight down from the shelf which is even worse). I tend to wear a fairly close fitted dark top with a low V neckline over a fitted round neck white t shirt or vest to fill in the V a bit. Wide legged crops on my lower half to balance out my shoulders.

I followed a very pretty young girl down the street today dressed in skin tight light brown leggings & t shirt. All currently very fashionable. But she was a size 20/22 & the flesh was wobbling frantically as her bum was fully on show.
Men were turning around to look at her - absolutely astonished.

She's obviously hugely body positive & doesn't care about wearing so called 'flattering' clothes. It was so interesting to watch.

Yep, quite a lot of them wear massively baggy clothes too. I don't know what that's about, some sort of subculture, but shows they don't care about what other generations would've considered conventionally attractive.