What to wear? Indian wedding august. Suggestions please

[drr]

I have been invited to a wedding ceremony and reception in August. The ceremony is in the morning from 9:30 and then a lunch and then an evening reception from 5 until 11:30.

bride and groom are both Indian heritage. I am going with my partner who is Pakistani heritage. Everyone I know there will be in in traditional Indian or Pakistani wedding clothes. I am white British and want to ‘blend in’ without stepping over any lines of cultural appropriation. Are there any ‘rules’ I should be aware of (eg colours I should/should not wear?)

Please help me find something to wear!

Will I need more than one outfit?

I am 5ft 10 size 16, late 50s with a bit of a bulgy belly. Desperate not to look frumpy. I’m thinking elegant, modest and yet sexy!

I like jewel colours - don’t suit pastels or anything ‘sludgy’ coloured. My budget is around £250 but happy to spend a lot less if I can!

I already have sparkly wedge sandals to wear.

You almost persuade me to get out my sarees and salwars. DD has worn a saree to a wedding, looked fantastic.

Following too. Been told we ‘have’ to wear Indian clothes for the Hindu ceremony but I don’t want to spend £££ on something I’ll never wear again. I’ve looked on vinted but can’t tell what would fit.

Store name is Frontier Raas. Not road. Sorry for the typo, cannot edit.

I will let you know how I get on. So grateful for everyone’s suggestions and insights x

Don’t make the mistake I did and think you can get away with a little glitz or kind of half in half out . You have to go the full shebang and you may need several changes of clothes. The one I went to, arghh I’m still cringing at my outfit 🙈I had some nice wide leg silk printed trousers and a kind of long silk tunic in a complimentary pattern with a spangly shawl wrap type thing and sparkly sandles. Totally didn’t work. In fact when I walked in and everyone was head to toe in heavy embroidery, beaded textiles, full make up , total perfection, I looked as though I’d rocked up in my pyjamas . My advice is go to a proper shop and take the advice of the knowledgeable staff, go big or go home!

Yes definitely wear Indian and go all out with hair, makeup, accessories. People will be delighted, I always love seeing non-indians make an effort to wear Indian attire at such functions.

Don't wear red which is traditionally bridal, or white which is traditionally for funerals. Hindus are often a bit superstitious about wearing black to weddings as well so avoid that. Jewel colours would be perfect.

At Indian weddings you pretty much never see anyone with their legs out so even if you don't opt for an Indian outfit, keep your legs covered. Also avoid anything too low cut.

Southall is your place to get an outfit if you live in Reading!

One word of warning OP and @NeedWineNow.

Watch out for 'The Aunties', this is a group of older women who are all called 'aunty' and may or may not be part of the family, part of the community or friends of one of the other aunties.

They operate like a mafia and their mission is to feed. They want you to have food in your hand and mouth AT ALL TIMES.

As you are white you (in their reasoning) are probably new to Indian culture so they try extra hard to feed you. You must not go hungry.

The people who grew up with 'The Aunties' know their tricks and will evade the feeding, if you are in someone's home this will take the form of making Indian tea for 'The Aunties'.

When you finally get to leave they will shove a box of sweets in to your hands in case you are hungry on the way home.

Obviously this is a slight exaggeration, they are just checking you are welcome.

I am of Indian origin and have attended quite a few Indian weddings in the UK, so would love to share some ideas and tips.

A full length dress with sequins or embroidery should be fine. Go for bright colours - no white or black. Also the bride would traditionally wear red so try and avoid it.

Try not wear anything ultra revealing (big cleavage or high thigh slit) but don't swing to the other extreme and be fully covered. What you will find is that most traditional dresses fully over the legs but a bit of cleavage, exposed shoulders, back or midriff is all okay.

No need to buy Indian clothes as you will get little opportunity to rewear. Sharing some links for inspiration.

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/vanessa-beaded-belt-maxi-dress-22102451318.html?istCompanyId=c38fe7a0-ffd0-4925-94b3-cff8df449484&istFeedId=5a41320b-c741-4d1e-b90d-1091450d147c&istItemId=riiqqxpiq&istBid=t&cqsrc=googleeads&cqcmp=20294038518&cqqnet=x&cqplt=gp&utmmsource=google&utmmedium=cpc&utmmcampaign=20294038518&gadsource=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwouexBhAuEiwAtWWZx-dPYG1wjFfQrqj7VAPo-eHkvmUNWkSu3IwCEclOAwUDjgODjDZOMBoCLocQAvDBwE

https://www.next.co.uk/style/LS427536/837273?gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAADmm5UWNhksd5SeqM0I9hRYJT6gMm&gclid=CjwKCAjwouexBhAuEiwAtWZx2Zddu3KPFgGaSym-1iemN7314eHNCg3ixPj95PiZGcpk1QZUf1okhoCu8AQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#837273

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/amily-pink-sequin-maxi-dress-22193730012.html?istCompanyId=c38fe7a0-ffd0-4925-94b3-cff8df449484&istFeedId=5a41320b-c741-4d1e-b90d-1091450d147c&istItemId=liiaimtta&istBid=t&cqsrc=googleeads&cqcmp=17939210631&cqqnet=x&cqplt=gp&utmmsource=google&utmmedium=cpc&utmmcampaign=17939210631&gadsource=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwouexBhAuEiwAtWWZx2X756MP48avEIdz6k1iRi9mMMSsugofofuPMOfHNTAJnZReetdWhoC5e8QAvDDBwE

@DressDilemma can you advise on sizing please? I’ve seen a few outfits on Vinted I like and I can live with paying for (and buying secondhand is my preferred option) but is a size 8 an M&S size 8 or a topshop size 8??

This made me 😂.

re sizing for Asian clothes. It’s all over the place. Ask for actual length, bust, waist and hip measurements if buying off Vinted.

Another vote for a salwar kameez. I was positively encouraged to wear traditional clothing for my friend's Hindu wedding.

Haha @sashh - I will look out for the aunties - that won’t help my bulgy belly at all.

@DressDilemma that 1st yellow dress is stunning. I have ordered it to try on for the evening.

I will go to southall for the morning ceremony.

looks like I am going to bust my budget :-(

I've been having a look online and have come across this which I absolutely love. The colour and beading are lovely, and it is definitely something I could wear again. Does anyone know anything about this company? I'm a bit confused about the various stitching options!

Blue embroidered net salwar - Maahi Styles - 4063463 (mirraw.com)

It’s basically to ensure that the bodice is fitted @NeedWineNow so they can sell the material semi stitched and you can take it to your family tailor and have it done. Or they do a ‘standard’ fit for a particular size. Or they custom stitch it where they will ask for your measurements and it will be properly fitted.

@MangshorJhol Thank you that’s so helpful. I was a bit confused!

OP

Do you know about stealing the groom's shoes?

In India aunties are the group of middle age women, who are super nosey, enjoy gossiping and spreading rumours.
Maybe outside India, they are better behaved and only crime is indulging you with food

Don't wear red, or black :) Probably no white either.

I really wouldn’t buy an Indian outfit. You won’t know how to carry it off if you haven’t worn one before & as most are not only heavy but also expensive you’ll end up needing to gett a cheap one that won’t suit. Just go to Monsoon and get an embellished maxi dress with sleeves.

Did you read the Op’s age? She is herself an aunty and so I’m sure the Indian ones will treat her much better than they treat the young uns lol

https://www.iluvdesigner.com/products/asim-jofa-ready-to-wear-velvet-festive-ajvf03

ok just noticed that’s velvet 😂 so not too good for a summer wedding. But have a browse of this website. I buy most of my Asian clothing from here.

@Peachyscream some lovely things on the website you recommended. What are they like with sizing please? I'm a curvy 14/16 and am wondering whether a L or XL would be best.

My partner has told me about this @sashh . But I think it’s for the younger women in the bride’s family?

and as @Ozanj has pointed out well I am myself of ‘aunty’ age 🤣

(although hopefully without being a nosey rumour spreading gossip @Redpaisely 😁)

I'm white and had the opportunity to wear a sari years ago and I enjoyed it immensely!

Yes I think it is the unmarried women / girls.

@Ozanj

I didn't say they treat people badly, or that it is the young ones, I'm rapidly approaching 60.