What to wear? Indian wedding august. Suggestions please

[drr]

I have been invited to a wedding ceremony and reception in August. The ceremony is in the morning from 9:30 and then a lunch and then an evening reception from 5 until 11:30.

bride and groom are both Indian heritage. I am going with my partner who is Pakistani heritage. Everyone I know there will be in in traditional Indian or Pakistani wedding clothes. I am white British and want to ‘blend in’ without stepping over any lines of cultural appropriation. Are there any ‘rules’ I should be aware of (eg colours I should/should not wear?)

Please help me find something to wear!

Will I need more than one outfit?

I am 5ft 10 size 16, late 50s with a bit of a bulgy belly. Desperate not to look frumpy. I’m thinking elegant, modest and yet sexy!

I like jewel colours - don’t suit pastels or anything ‘sludgy’ coloured. My budget is around £250 but happy to spend a lot less if I can!

I already have sparkly wedge sandals to wear.

It sounds like it is a Hindu wedding with a 9:30am ceremony, although you don't have to go for the religious part. Most guests turn up for the lunch & reception afterwards otherwise it ends up being a long day. Its really only the closest friends & family who are there from start to finish.

Always eat a good breakfast or brunch before you go as meals can be delayed if rhe ceremony over runs. Keep snacks in the car, I snuck out to a cafe in my sari for a sandwich halfway through my mate's wedding. The groom was delayed by 3 hours on the M25 so we all went for brunch over the road! 😀

https://ampm-int.com/

https://www.diyaonline.com/

Yes - it’s a Hindu wedding. The brides parents are friends (and are the parents of my partners son in law), I think I am counted as ‘close’ so I want to get this right!

I am based near Reading but work in the City so relatively easy for me to get to any shops along the Elizabeth line!

That ampn site has stunning dresses @MountCaramel but sadly I can’t justify the cost.

Thanks everyone for the tips and advice.

If you're on the Liz line West then I'd suggest trying shops in Wembley or Southall. It's possible that people will get changed between the morning ceremony and evening reception, so you might need two outfits, with the morning one slightly less blingy. Good luck and have fun!

Most Indians don't think a foreigner wearing Indian attire is cultural appropriation. You can wear a saree or nowadays, you get legenga easily ( Indian skirt) and blouse. Where are you located?

https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-mesh-maxi-lehenga-skirt-in-marigold/prd/203381884?affid=28254&channelref=product+search&mk=abc&ppcadref=20506940613%7C%7C&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_-GxBhC1ARIsADGgDjuJcr2DEwL4X_9pTkZnz2o9rCQ5CLHMLZt8-SepuWlDt6D9xM-3gOAaAs8iEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-mesh-maxi-lehenga-skirt-in-marigold/prd/203381884?affid=28254&channelref=product+search&mk=abc&ppcadref=20506940613%7C%7C&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_-GxBhC1ARIsADGgDjuJcr2DEwL4X_9pTkZnz2o9rCQ5CLHMLZt8-SepuWlDt6D9xM-3gOAaAs8iEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Would you wear something like this?

https://baabul.co.uk/product/blue/

There are more colours.

https://baabul.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Screenshot-2023-10-26-at-6.28.35%E2%80%AFPM.png
https://baabul.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Screenshot-2023-10-26-at-6.28.35%E2%80%AFPM.png

Another one, lime green but not pastel

https://baabul.co.uk/product/4767/

I would wear a churidar/anarkali

yes, you will need two outfits. For the reception, go blingy

Hi OP, I grew up in Reading and had lots of Asian friends who loved dressing me up in their sarees and shalwar kameez. I used to wear them a lot as a teenager (am white British) and no one batted an eyelid, in fact they encountered it. There are a few saree shops in Reading if you have a Google. I know there used to be one in cemetery junction but I think it's closed down now.

On the colours I was told No black, no white, no red. This was in a gurdwara so hair covered and no flesh on show.

I made myself a suit which was a baggy shirt with comfy trousers and a headscarf (I got the material from an Indian material shop) for the evening I had a sari I'd bought in Mauritius.

Saris fit everyone, they are just 5 metres of fabulous fabric, but there are different ways to tie it. If you do get one you need a blouse, an underskirt and then there is a piece of material that you sew on to the front bottom to make it hang correctly.

Do not get a cotton sari, unless you love ironing.

My friend wanted people to wear Indian clothes so that's what I went with but a maxi dress with a shawl you can put over your head would be fine (as long as it has sleeves).

As you are in Reading and head to London have a look at Southall. My friend describes it as a corner of India dropped in to England.

Are you going to have mendhi? I'm very pale, even for a white person (Irish and Scottish ancestry) so on me it looks very dark. In Indian tradition this means my mother in law loves me (or would if I had one).

I went to a colleague's Indian wedding, and we (her colleagues) were the only non-indians there. We all wore saris and had so many guests come up to us to say how amazing it was that we'd made the effort, and that we all looked great.

We did have to be dressed by our other indian colleague though - we all turned up at the office beforehand (close to the wedding venue) and she dressed us, one by one! If you've never put a sari on before, there's quite an art to it (and we found them quite uncomfortable to wear for a long time, as they're tight around the waist, and very heavy).

An Indian outfit would be lovely though - I'd go for one of the tunic style ones. I'd definitely agree with a PP suggestion though - if you know any Indian people, they will have loads of outfits and would surely lend you one. All our saris were lent to us by our colleague (not the bride, the one who dressed us) and her mum.

@drr get to Green Street or Southall, both near enough from the city. So many fun things to look at and try on.

And you can get a bonus curry while you're looking.

One of the things I love about Indian/Pakistani/Sri Lankan people is how happy they seem to be to share their culture with others.

It's really lovely that white people can go to an Indian wedding wearing beautiful Indian clothes and nobody is worrying about cultural appropriation but just enjoying how lovely everyone looks.

Sorry just saw you have some belly fat you are conscious about. I think in that case, I would suggest you go to Southall and try different salwar kameez - it's trousers with long shirt. It's comfier than other Indian outfits and comes in many styles with beautiful work.

You can also try saree.
You can go to a store called Frontier Road and start from there.
I think this suit set fits your description

https://www.frontierraas.com/raw-mustard-bandhani-suit-set-fr1233881

Your DH is of Pakistani heritage and you are invited. Everyone will be really, really pleased if you wear traditional Pakistani dress, (no-one but 'woke' Americans believes in cultural appropriation btw). Can you ask your MiL or a SiL for advice on what would suit? A salwar kameez is attractive and easy to wear. A sari needs managing (I was always told by my SiLs to use 3 pins, thus: one to secure the pleats to the petticoat beneath, where the pleats are tucked in at the front; one to secure the straight hanging of the pleats; one to secure the 'palu', the length of material that goes over the shoulder - a decorative brooch could be used for this). Wear appropriate jewellery, e.g. necklace, bracelets/bangles and earings. Have a lovely time.
Also buy something you like wearing, because you can always wear it again as evening dress etc.

Afaik the only people worried about cultural appropriate are 'woke' white people and USians.

My DD and her fiancé went to a (three-day!) Hindu wedding in rural India. On taking advice from the bride they both wore traditional Hindu attire (she wore a lovely sari), it was very well received by everyone including the very traditional families.

Check that you are not required to wear a certain colour as friends of the Bride/Groom. DH and I went to an Indian wedding a few years ago and as friends of the Bride apparently we were supposed to wear pink. Friends of the Groom wore green. I didn't know and wore green. Also, DH went to a wedding in India recently and had to buy several different Indian outfits to wear to the different parts of the ceremony.

I went for a sari when I went to a Sikh wedding - the ladies in the shop were amazing and encouraged me to go for it! I paid extra so they put it on a belt for me with hooks and eyes so I could manage to dress myself. Going to the loo was more challenging though!

Really good advice from others on here. Hindu weddings don't require you to dress modestly (covering shoulders/head etc not necessary) and bright colours are the norm. I feel you could get away with red and white as long as it does not look bridal and not exclusively white which is funeral wear (I have worn both colours myself countless times but mixed with others). Black is the only one I would not wear.

There are a lot of East/West options (and is tending) if you want to get something you could potentially wear again in the future. Also recommend Wembley/Southall/East London if wanting to go to Indian shops. There are also online shops like Indya which ship from India for a reasonable price

There are loads in vinted too

Get two outfits. They tend to change before the the second so - I think it’s a cultural thing as India tends to be hot and sweaty, so they wouldn’t wear the same outfit all day - that would be considered dirty. You can get away with non changing if you aren’t Indian though. Wear bright colours!

Absolutely this. I couldn't believe how encouraging people were about me rocking up in Indian clothes.

I went to an Indian clothes store for my outfit. The woman in there was thrilled to dress me up in her traditional clothes, and show me how to put them on. She even called her two sisters to come over and help me too 😂

Following this thread with interest. We've been asked to save the date for a wedding later in the year where the bridegroom is Sri Lankan. I've had an initial online search but have bookmarked for any hints, tips and suitable places to look for an outfit. My colouring suits jewel colours and I love a bit of bling so am eagerly awaiting my chance to go and have a look!