Help me look ‘put together’

[crazypiglady]

I’m 43, a stone overweight, my hair is starting to grey which I don’t mind but it’s becoming wiry and I just tie it back, my skin isn’t good. I suffer with depression and feel like it shows, when I’m not at work I’m in joggers and hoodies & look scruffy a family member said recently. Other than losing the weight, I feel like I don’t know where to start but I hope that looking more ‘put together’ might help me feel better during my darker periods. Can anyone relate and offer advice?

Mine are Dr Martens Dante Brando Leather Casual Shoes. They’re basically like smart trainers.
https://www.drmartens.com/uk/en_gb/dante-brando-leather-casual-shoes-black/p/16736001

I'd look in charity shops for cheap clothes. Then you can experiment without spending too much money. Don't forget jewellery and hats too!

I decided to sort 'my style' out when I was 47 (I didn't want to literally shuffle into my fifties in crap clothes and slippers).

It took about a year to get a good wardrobe together (with several misses).

I'm nearly 60 now and feel I need to go through this process again (as I can have more control over my clothes than my hair and sagging face and body 😬).

Thank you!

Lots of good advice but I echo, good diet and drink water! Have a look at skin & me subscription. If you an afford, botox and/ or led mask.

For Clothes, check vinted. Try to analyse your season/ best colours (ie. Bright or muted etc). Get a good handbag.

Instagram - claire hall. And mollie Campsie although she's younger but has good suggestions I think.

Throw the tracksuits away and keep one pair to wear around the house. Look in to David Kibbie if you haven't already, it will help you dress for your vibe as well as your body shape.

I'd definitely look to create a capsule wardrobe.
Get rid of clothes that don't fit you, suit you or feel like the put together person you want to be.
Start with a few pieces, in a limited pallette. Moat of my clothes are black, white, beige. I like animal prints, so these colours seemed best for the style I like. Everything in my wardrobe can be worn with everything else. There's no thought process required when I get dressed, other than how I feel for the day.

@SuiGeneris

its not rude to suggest that the OP does not at this point need elastic waists, comfy shoes and twinsets.

Sure not everyone who wears these elements will be aged by the look and I dare say my young adult/teen DDs could rock the whole outfit, because youth looks great in anything but for most women in their 40s (and I am one) if they want to feel good about themselves then wearing the entire combination is going to be very unflattering.

I am lazy about making an effort with my appearance every day.

I got my (grey) hair cut shorter so I couldn't scrape it back into a ponytail as the easy option, I had to bother to do it properly.
I avoid elasticated waists, I know they're super comfy but they are the work of the devil! I want

I want to know if my waists getting larger and my normal trousers don't fit any more rather than having a nasty surprise when I need to be smart. So I usually wear jeans so nothing creeps up on me!

Just looked at a video of that Melissa woman and the first thing was a woman who'd lost a lot of weight and Melissa was trying to convince her she could fit into a size 12 trousers and wasn't the 16-18 she thought she was. I mean the lady she was talking about looks great and well done to her for the weight loss, but she definitely looked like a 16 or 18 to me. I didn't bother watching any further because I thought "Is that all this is all about? Being the smallest size you can be?"

In fairness, most of us would never buy any new clothes if we had to do all that first.

It's okay to buy a few nice things as a first step before turning into Gwyneth Paltrow.

👐from another kiwi!
you sound like my kind of woman!
Love trade me too!

In fairness, most of us would never buy any new clothes if we had to do all that first.

The OP has complained of extra weight, bad skin, unruly hair and depression that affects her general demeanour. She’s going to struggle to find some miraculous outfit that suddenly makes all that go away.

And I really don’t see why tweaking one’s diet and getting a haircut would turn a person into Ms Paltrow. There’s nothing extreme about paying the most basic attention to your own health and wellbeing when you can see they’ve been neglected.

I've got some great things from TradeMe. I just bought a jersey for $19, they are still being sold new for $390.

Off out now to enjoy the lovely sunny autumn day here in the South Island!

I second intermittent fasting and reduce alcohol right down.

i wear wide leg jersey trousers for wfh and recently picked up lots of things at Zara in xxl. They have some striped shirts that are great and look higher quality than they are. I also just bought some wide legged jeans from white stuff that are comfy and (apparently) fashionable.

Vinted is hugely popular here but I find it really hard to find anything.

it can all be overwhelming so I’d pick one or two things to focus on every couple of weeks - more water, multivitamins (a daily gummy really helps) and a daily walk

• try to eat breakfast later, more protein (the little protein yogurt pots are good), more fruit
• a good moisturiser, deep conditioner for hair, moisture face pack (boots or Superdrug will have afford able options)
• Instagram for ideas - a huge amount of content but gives you an idea of what is out there.

If you are an autumn then pink and blue might not be right on you.
The colours are on to something so I’d pay mind to them if not militantly. You need brown, olive green, white, gold.

if I were you I’d start with getting a decent pair of jeans that fit you really well. Don’t worry about the size or thinking you’re going to slim into them just get the right ones.
then get a really lovely jumper - cos?
and some good basic t shirts - Uniqlo
chop and dye your hair
then reassess

Best thing i did was get a Style Analysis which told me my body shape (pear) and what colours suit me (autumn).

It makes buying clothes so
much easier I avoid what doesn’t suit me (v-necks etc) and consequently I get more hits than misses, plus more compliments (and i’m
a overweight middle aged woman).

If you’re an autumn, then don’t wear black, it’s not a good colour for us. Opt for navy blue instead.

Autumn colours

Autumn

I like:

• loafers
• Chelsea boots

Go with most things

As mentioned above, definitely a squirt of perfume. And stud earrings, they always make you look done!

Carry a nice bag and always clean your shoes. That will look less scruffy no matter what someone's style is.

Do your nails. Even if you just use a cheap nail varnish. As long as they look neat.

For nails I used to have gel done occasionally but for budget reasons I stopped.

Recently I've been using the Essie gel polish "Fairy Tailor" with the shiny top coat and I'm really impressed. No lamp or anything needed and it dries pretty fast. It's lasting a week at least and looks "polished" (forgive the pun).

I got mine buy one get one half price in Boots.

If you had your colours done a while ago I would get them done again. I was an Autumn until my hair went grey/silver and now I do best in strong jewel winter colours. Your skin tone changes as you get older as well as your hair colour. I didn't want to colour my hair. I couldn't be doing with the upkeep and expense. Then you can start creating your new capsule wardrobe with confidence. Your body shape doesn't change so much. My consultant said that I would always be a rectangle, just an overweight rectangle! Tough love, but what I needed. To be fair most of my weight has settled around my middle and thighs so I am more of an apple now. But underneath I am a rectangle.😂