Bra help please!!

[Spencer0220]

I don't even know where to start.

I haven't worn a conventional bra in over 15 years. I usually make do with flimsy sports bra things off eBay. But they aren't very comfortable.

I want a proper bra, but I'm struggling to measure. I can't weight bare at all, so it's going to have to be done laying or sitting. And I tend to lean back when I sit because of my physical disabilities.

DH (bless him) has managed to get me into a half decent upright position and got 42 for bust and 50 for the boob measurement. That was with an extra inch for breathing room as I figured at normal position I'd want something looser.

If I'm right, that's a 42FF?

I'm not sure that sounds right? I'm a size 16. Not quibbling cup size. I guessed I'd be somewhere between E and F.

Getting a proper fitting isn't possible as our closest fitting option is the middle of London!

I'm thinking I need to order a bunch of sister sizes? Given I can't sit properly, can I still wear underwired?

When I had a bra professionally fitted years ago it was underwire and fabulous. But my mum hated it, refused to launder it because it was sexy, so I eventually gave up totally on nice underwear.

Thank you ladies.

And thank you so much ladies. I'm really very grateful 💐

Yes was just going to say a virtual fitting at bravissimo will be your best bet - they are great there

Thank you @tulipsunday

I'm hoping virtual is as good as in person.

But I'm worried they'll object to DH being present. I won't be able to manage without his help.

That sounds like a good plan!

Ah... I see. I did wonder this. It looks like you've got the right measurements.

I don’t think Bravissimo will object if your husband is present, if you can’t manage without him. You could ring the shop in advance and explain, and ask for an appointment?

FWIW I’m sitting or lying down most of the time, with very limited walking. I find underwires excruciatingly uncomfortable - I think they may be designed for an upright torso - they really dig in when I’m sitting. I’m doing a bit better with the Elomi nursing bra (Mollie?) which Bravissimo do. This has lighter ‘flexi’ wires. But my day to day bra is the Royce sports bra which has a much wider band and is much more comfortable for sitting and lying. Also from Bravissimo.

Hope you find some bras that work for you.

@Keepingongoing thank you. Very good to know

Sorry, just re- read and saw that you’re going for a virtual fitting. I’m sure they’ll be fine with your husband being present. I’ve always found them very helpful when I’ve rung them.

It relates roughly to you dress size as its usually add 20

Size 10 = 30
Size 12 =32
Size 14 = 34
Size 16= 36
Size 18= 38

This is very approximate and though. I'm a size 18 and wear 36E

Think this is to move away from the old add 4 ways when size 10 people were wearing 36B

It sounds like you might be larger in the cup than you realise and a smaller band size m. Sister size are calculate by taking a size of the of the band and adding a cup OR vice versa

So 36D = 34DD or 38 DD

If you measure

42 F you could try 40 G or 38 H

Although bodies vary and we are all tolerant do differs things. I did find the snugger band and larger cup is combo better for me. As a young woman/teen I was consistently told there were no bras for me as I was a 42 AA- in realty I was a 36E. You can imagine how this affected me.

It's an art not a science

Edit - 36D = 34DD or 38C

Good luck with your purchases OP. Please let us know how you get on.

Thank you. I'll get them end of week I expect

Is anyone still watching?

Bras arrived today. Bless DH. He tried.

I put the one on that I figured would fit best. The band and underwire were VERY comfortable. But the cups were like fucking tents! 😲. No amount of scooping etc filled them at all.

I did a bra fit survey via brastop and they suggested I should be a 42GG! Scratching my head here, because I'm pretty sure those cups are far too big?

I have a 42FF here, but reluctant to try it tonight as it took DH and I 20 minutes to get the bra on last time. I ended up holding onto my bed rails so I could lean forward enough in my wheelchair for him to do the hooks.

That's not sustainable for getting me dressed every day because then we'd have to hoist me again to make sure I'm sat properly.

Any suggestions?

I can't lean myself forward independently because I have a dislocated hip. (Can't be operated on, so I'm living with it.) So usually to dress me he pulls me forward, puts the sports bra/jumper/T-shirt over my head and on my arms. Then I cuddle him round his shoulders, and he uses this position to balance me to pull the clothes down my back.

He couldn't do a bra up like this, because he can't do it by feel.

Sorry for the essay. Just wondering if anyone has any ideas.

I wouldn't go for a wired bra. That will be uncomfortable when lying down. I would also go with a thicker under-cup bra. Which coles down lower and wont ride up in your position

Thank you.

But just to clarify, I would only be wearing it in my chair. I don't wear tops lying down as it prevents me rolling for care.

Hi OP

Would a front fastening bra make dressing easier?

Hi OP. That sounds difficult. What size was the bra you tried on yesterday?

Just to clarify before I make another suggestion…do you need a bra which can be pulled on over your head, that doesn’t have fasteners at the back?

The size yesterday was a 42G. I'm pretty sure 42 was right, or very close, because that was very comfortable. But the cups absolutely dwarfed me and didn't change from being flimsy drapes even when DH lifted them inside properly.

I currently have an over the head one piece thing that is very easy to get on, but my chest clearly spills over it. In a v neck I get a very creased looking cleavage with weird fat rolls.

I've never tried front fastening, but I feel that might well work too.

I really appreciate everyone helping. I know I probably sound very weird.

Just to add, I don't have a budget for this. If we find something that works, I'm willing to pay.

I know I've mention the M&S Flexifit before but it's very soft and non wired. I've tested it out for you too, I've literally just tried putting it on without undoing the clasp and it was easy!!! It's just so soft. Mine is a 36GG and I'm a size 14.

I probably should've got the 34 but it still fits nicely and so comfy you could even sleep it, I did when I was on HRT and my boobs were so painful.

Over my head.

Thank you. I'll check these out

You might like to take a look at Molke bras https://molke.co.uk/

Thank you