I don’t get ready in the mornings anymore

[PinkMimi]

As the title says really 😅. I use to take time to get ready and would never leave the house without make up on and an outfit put together. I don’t know if it’s since having a baby in lockdown … 4 years ago! Or since WFH but I work from home, sat in my pyjamas, no make up, hair chucked up. Is it just me? How can I snap out of this? On my days off I’m finding I’m going out in joggers etc, no make up. I also just don’t feel good about myself anymore. Help me break the cycle! ❤️

I understand how you got there, but if I do that I feel absolutely rubbish about myself.

I think you need to take small steps - for a start brush your hair and get out of your pyjamas. Do you wear them all day? And then just put more on for bed?

Same! I don't have kids but I too have fallen into a bit of a cycle of this.

I am moving myself out of it though and honestly feel so much better about myself when I do. I try to do a little bit of exercise in the Morning - a walk or even a 15 minute you tube workout and that seems to motivate me. Then I find if I put on actual clothes - and they can be comfy clothes but presentable and wash my face and moisturise I feel 100x better. I put on make up if I can be bothered but if I can't I don't but just the doing a proper skincare routine, brushing hair and moving my body already makes me feel better.

I am similar (wfh, don’t need to get ready most days).

I recently organised my clothes and it really really helped. 2 or 3 bags to the charity donations bin - anything you really haven’t worn in the last year, don’t reach for, or doesn’t fit anymore.

My wardrobe and drawers used to be messy and overwhelming, so on weekdays I’d reach for the same leggings and couple of jumpers.

Now I have a really pared down, organised wardrobe, I can wear a different nice top and different cardigan or denim overshirt etc every day (still with leggings but it’s easy!). Adds a bit of differentiation and helps me feel at least a bit dressed up!

Makeup isn’t needed, just good skincare, and hair can be brushed or put in a claw clip. Bung some nice earrings on and a necklace. Good to go!

Finding a reason to leave the house during the day really helps me too. Usually a quick gym session, coffee at the gym cafe, or dog walk.

If you don’t get out and about and aren’t “perceived” by other people, you won’t feel like yourself. We need to be perceived by others to reconfirm our self identity. (Psychotherapy babble but I find that it’s accurate).

Oh and jewellery. I feel naked without a pair of earrings - nothing fancy I tend to just rotate a couple of pairs of studs but for some reason they make me feel a little better. that and having my eyebrows done :)

I go out in joggers and no makeup all the time and feel fine. If I have things to do or errands to run I pretty much put on deodorant and brush my teeth and I’m good to go. If my hair is crap I put on headband. Maybe I just live in an area where people are more casual?

Re: the clothes. Your clothes should suit your needs. If you WFH you don’t need:

• - office wear, smart casual. They can all go. If you get a new office job, you will want to buy up-to-date stuff anyway.
• - Fashion/“best” outfits (fancy jumpsuits, anything you feel silly wearing on a casual weekday). Think about what you’d pack for a long weekend away somewhere nice, or three birthday parties/baby showers in a row - keep those three outfits. The rest you don’t need. Is there really going to be a time when all three special outfits are dirty? No.
• - Clothes that don’t fit you (eg pre-baby clothes). If your body changes, you can buy new clothes. Get rid.

If you WFH you DO need:

• - A rotation of comfy but nice outfits that can be thrown on in the morning instead of pyjamas. Anything you can get dressed in less than 3 minutes, requiring no thought or umming and ahhing, which makes you feel good about yourself (better than pyjamas). Multiple versions of the same thing if needed - if you like stripy t-shirts, get 3 or 4 stripy tshirts. If you like jeggings, get three pairs of jeggings. Line them up so they’re easy to access. Make it easy for yourself.

Make yourself get dressed, brush hair, slap on some tinted moisturiser and mascara every day.
Book a hair cut, you’ll feel better about yourself.
Wear good shoes - you’ll feel put together with no extra effort.

Maybe you could do with a trigger from which everything else follows? For me it’s having a shower, after that I’ll get dressed « properly. » Sometimes on weekends I’ll lie in or mooch about in pyjamas or yoga clothes for the whole morning and then just change into jeans but I know I always feel worse on those days and a bit like I’ve wasted the day. I’ve found from experience if I do a bit of exercise like an online workout or a morning run, I get a bit sweaty and that forces me in the shower and then ta-da I’m dressed.
It could be having a coffee and cleaning your teeth but I needs to be something that pushes your brain into the routine.

I am the opposite. On camera all day WFH so put more effort in!

I make myself have a walking commute, 20 mins around the block before I start work. I don't wear make up ever anyway and stick to my rule of not wearing joggers outside the house unless actually exercising so at last put jeans on. My hair I wash in the shower before running DD to school, go for my walk and then blow dry and possibly whip the straighteners through whilst reading my emails and making my plan for the day.

I fell into this routine and it was actually exercise that dragged me out of it - going for a run before work or before school drop off made me both get out of my pyjamas and shower/wash my hair.

I WFH but have to do the school run so it's similar to a commute and is so helpful as I have to get dressed and look presentable. Just top and jeans/leggings, hair straight, tinted moisturiser and a bit of blusher/radiance thing on cheeks and I'm good to go. Very rarely on camera at work but I think I feel better being opening door to someone ready.

These are all such helpful messages / tips , thank you all so much for your help. I think I do need to get more into a routine. Before having my little one and covid, I would really enjoy getting ready and as another poster said I think you are right about the being perceived by other people. I use to get nice compliments on dresses or my hair or perfume etc. I bumped into my old neighbours yesterday and I felt so embarrassed, I felt like I couldn’t stop and chat even though they are really lovely people and I really would love to have caught up with them, I just looked like I’d fallen out of a bin 😅. That was a weekend and really I could have got ready. I’m on my own with my daughter most of the time as my husband is working a lot. I start work at 7am so I roll out of bed put new pjs on , start work, finish at 5, get dinner on, bedtime routine etc. I feel like I’ve lost myself and let myself go. I wondered if maybe I’m depressed as I lack the motivation and I’m so tired but I also think it might just be lifestyle?

Would you judge others as harshly as you're judging yourself for not being dressed up? Were your neighbours dressed up when you saw them? If they weren't would you have judged them?

Maybe you need to think why you don't feel good enough if you're not wearing make up and dressed up and why you're keen to have people compliment you on the way you look. Would you want your dd to feel she had to wear make up otherwise she wasn't good enough for other people to speak to?

I hated working from home. Couldn't wait to get back to the office and was part of the small emergency group who went in early in lockdown. The only thing that made it bearable was getting dressed properly. If I'd stopped doing that I'd have been even more miserable than I was.

Following this thread.

I'm much the same, OP. My husband died during lockdown. I think the only time I've worn a small amount of make-up since then was when I attended a regimental memorial service (held for all association members who died during lockdown) and for two weddings.

I managed to buy a couple of frocks online. Not terribly glamorous, but they fit.

I'm now working one day a week. At first, I tried wearing a teeny amount of make-up, but I'm going in barefaced most days, though I'm moisturising, mainly because my skin feels uncomfortable otherwise.

I no longer had any workwear. I finished up buying a pair of black trousers and a couple of black tops from Asda's.

My hair currently looks like Crystal Tipps. I've been getting it trimmed and the grey taken out every 8 weeks or so, but I can't get back into the hang of looking after it properly.

On the plus side, at least I'm remembering to put a bra on most days. No one wants to see a 60+ yr old supply teacher letting it all hang out.

WearyAuldWummman .. I am so sorry for your loss.. it sounds as though you are doing amazing! 💐

OP, I find getting ready a real pain (not sure why a shower, hair wash, bit of make-up and drying hair takes 40 mins, but it just does) however I feel so dreadful if I don’t bother. I make it part of my morning routine , just like having a coffee and feeding the cat, and then it’s done and I’m good for the rest of the day

7 til 5 is a very long day OP. Do you get proper breaks? Could you use the first one of the day to do a makeover?
And more long term can you reduce hours? Or are you doing compressed hours or something to get a day off? You would end up exhausted otherwise. Sonethings’s gotta give.

So I just wear comfy clothes, I'm an illustrator and I have always worked from home and my work can be messy as I work with inks and paint most days so I don't want to wear anything nice and ruin it while I'm working.

I also don't wear make up most days but I will make more effort with my clothes and so on if I am going out.

What I do at home to stop feeling slobby is to really spend time on my skincare routine during, I do an LED mask, my nuface, gua sha and take time to carefully apply my products. I also make my hair presentable and put a little oil through the lengths. I also do some yoga, meditate, exercise, try to eat healthy food, stay hydrated, take supplements and so on. All this makes me feel like I am taking care of myself even if I am just in leggings and a hoodie all day. Also putting that effort in most days means I want to make the effort to show off the fruits of my labours when I do go out!

A useful thing for me is having a make up compact or foundation stick so I can quickly put on some make up. Sometimes I will have some of this stuff in the car. Recently I’ve make out a grooming checklist and although I utterly cannot be bothered some days, I will try and get my hair coloured and nails done etc. It does make me feel much better.

I sort of know where you're coming from OP, I definitely want to break out of my leggings / sweatshirt formula, but I absolutely think baby steps and maybe re start a new thing every week until you feel like yourself. So this week try and do your hair daily. Next week add on tinted moisturiser. Week after lipstick. Then maybe some jewellery.

I do my make up for the school run even though it's drop and go and no one will see me, BUT I feel more in control when it's done! You'll start to feel the same...

Have a drawer for joggers and all the WFH gear. Keep it all in there, never wear it any other time, only when going to work at home. When finished, wash and change into something else.

I’ve recently started to drag myself out of this one step at a time. Step 1 was to put a proper bra on- not a bralet or something that showcased a monoboob. Shape and posture are better and it makes a difference.
Step 2 is to put on a BB cream.
Step 3 TBC but I do feel much better for it.

Thank you. That's very kind of you.