Any Hairdressers around? At my wit's end!

[ChippyTea16]

Hello, sorry for the dramatic title (and long post) but I've had yet another haircut where I feel like I've ended up with the opposite of what I asked for. I have long, thick, wavy hair (but not nice wavy, it goes matted and fluffy so I usually just let it dry, quickly straighten it and put it in a ponytail which lasts a few days).

I get my hair cut at most twice a year (and know I should go more often but due to not really doing anything with it I just don't bother really).

I recently had it cut as it was super long and I literally couldn't do anything with it; ponytail was getting very heavy and uncomfortable and I cannot wear it down as the weight of it makes it flat against my head and the ends just tangle.

So, as always, I asked for it to be thinned out and for it to be 'going down into a point' - hopefully the attached pic shows what I mean. I have definitely had this kind of hair cut before so I know it is possible on me. I stressed to the hairdresser and begged her not to cut it straight across as it makes it look even thicker, I find it hard to comb through and I hate how it looks (makes my hair look triangle shaped). She said she understood but said she'd cut it wet and it would look blunt initially then she'd dry it and chop into it to take the weight out.

This is what she did but at the end when she asked if it was ok I was like 'no? it's still really thick and blunt' so she kept going. Eventually I could see it wasn't going to go the way I wanted so I left it. It doesn't look awful but I feel like as it was cut straight across, I feel like you can't cut the 'point' into it at that stage?

So my question is, what do I need to ask for at my next appointment to stop a hairdresser giving me a blunt cut please? (even though I asked her not to do that, it still didn't work!). Can you even request a hairdresser to cut in a different way?? I almost want to cut 'triangles' in it myself to take the weight out of the ends...

Attached pics are:

1. the shape I want
2. my previous haircut that I wanted again (the hairdresser who did this for me moved away)
3. my hair before my latest haircut which looks the same as it does now (was layered 2 months before this pic was taken but the shorter layers grew out quicker so eventually ended up the same length with thick, straight across ends)

(I know it's just hair, it's not important in the grand scheme of things but I hate how high maintenance my hair is and having a bad cut just makes it worse!). Can anyone help/relate? 🙏

Following as I’m in the exact same position. It’s like they’re afraid to do anything noticeable to it in case it goes wrong so I just end up with the same ‘straight across’ cut every time no matter what I ask for.

Hi, OP -

I am sorry this happened to you. I’ve been there too!

I have found that a picture (photo) is indeed worth a thousand words: I suggest that you bring one or both of the good ones next time. Best wishes

At your next appointment, show them these 3 pictures.

Admittedly I'm not a hairdresser but from your post I was struggling to know what you meant, it was only when I saw the pictures I realised.

It doesn't look thinned and if the hairdressers didn't understand they should ask

Thanks all, I did show all these pictures to her... she has definitely thinned it out I just feel like the type of cut (i.e. straight across) was wrong and that there must be a different method of cutting that isn't just straight across?

I feel that you need to ask for layers

The first picture the cut is shaped around her face, it’s like grown out bangs really, I get very similar with my hair so it’s a bit shorter around my face and gradually blends out to be long at the back, you also should ask for layers if you want that “look”. Believe me, if she just cut your hair “to a point at the back” all the same length you would hate it & it would look ridiculous

I totally get what you mean, have the same hair type and also hate the straight across cut. Maybe an actual hairdresser will come along and tell you what they call it, but I'm thinking tapered or chopped-into the ends? Anyway, thick hair is easier to manage if the weight is off the ends. I've found that an older stylist seems to understand whatever this technique is. Maybe it's just not a thing they teach anymore?

@Cuppachuchu I absolutely agree, 20 years ago they used to use razors on me and it was brilliant! Just sliced all the weight out and went all choppy and easy to manage but even if I ask for that now they flat out refuse! Maybe I need to re-train as a hairdresser and do my own... 😄

You can achieve that cut yourself really easily. It's the one where you gather your hair up onto a ponytail where the base of the tail is on your forehead and then you just snip straight across and bingo you get a pointy ended cut.

My hair is the same as yours. During lockdown, I had to cut it myself. I used the unicorn method.

My hair has never looked better. I will do it as long I am physically able. 😀

For first time, I would only take a very small amount off, just in case you don't like it.

This is the one I followed.

Did you mean cut in a V shape from behind?Not a hairdresser but have the same knotty issue when it's all cut one length, so always ask for long layers and specify by how much to reduce misunderstanding as discovered in the past with layered hairstyles the top layer still needed some weight to hang well. Then they shape/layer round the face so has some movement.

My hair seems to be changing its texture mix and getting wavy as I get older, I'd only get waves by ears or wispy face bits if it rained before . You may also find the Charlotte Rich wavy FB group useful, sadly I'm too lazy to follow things fully but having just switched to some products they've listed has helped with the condition of my hair and its mainly affordable products i could find locally rather than just expensive ranges.

Thank you @ickky and @OSU I might just have to resort to that soon!

I was really nervous, but honestly, I will never go back to a hairdresser if I can help it.

It makes it go to a v shape at the back and depending on how acute the angle of cut is, it layers it too. The more acute, the longer the layers.

I tried the DIY unicorn cut but found i ended up with a big step in layers which looked weird, luckily I had been cautious with amount lopped off and long hair so could cut the bottom shorter to blend it better but I had to get a friend to sort out the wonky back. These DIY cuts often don't show how tricky it is when need to cut thick hair, I definitely appreciate hairdressers skills and when you get a good cut compared to average one, it makes it much less work to style as it falls into the right place.

You need to ask for face framing layers and show her where you want the layers to start. I know it's not what you wanted but I actually like the hair cut you got, it makes your hair look very full and healthy.

It can be difficult for very thick hair, I use a razor for the bulk cut and then use proper hair cutting scissors to cut into the end of the hair to thin it out.

I will take a pic later and put it on here so you can see.

I have a longer version of what you have and I have always asked for my heart to be feathered into my face and I usually have longer layers cut in for taking some of the weight out.

You want a long layered cut with feathered ends and shaped round your face and lots of weight cut out.

I do find you need to find a hairdresser who is brave with the thinning shears.

How old is the stylist? I got sick of explaining to younger stylists how I wanted my hair styled, I’m 57 I know my hair and what can and can’t be done. I’ve had some really shitty cuts and colours.

I’ve finally found a stylist that listens and does exactly what I’ve asked for, and she’s not a youngster. It also transpired that one of my previous stylists hadn’t even studied all of the modules in training.😲 She told me she couldn’t perm hair, my current VERY experienced stylist said that if she’d trained in all modules she would be able to do it 🤷‍♀️. It’s a really grey area, how do we know how qualified they are. My new stylist is in her 40’s and brilliant. For years when I’ve got home I have to tinker with the crappy cuts, the youngsters just don’t have all the skill set.

what I love about my current hair salon is it’s lovely and relaxing, I was getting very stressed at the thought of going, I honestly would sooner go to the dentist, I’m not joking. My current salon has trainees, I only hope that they study all the modules. The stylists are all mature, their clientele are mixed, you get a bloody good service. I actually look forward to going, which I’m surprised that I’m actually saying that.

I have heard this called a 'V-cut' and a 'foxtail'. I would take a picture that you like from the back (rather than the side), that clearly shows this shape.

My hairdresser does this for me – with long layers that she does with a razor... so it can be done!

Looking at the style you want, it's just layers with some of the weight chopped out. Pretty basic hairdressing!
I have a couple of friends with very thick hair, and they will only go to one particular stylist who has hair like that herself and knows what to do with it.

I've done the DIY "unicorn" method, it's pretty good.

I have had a very similar experience. I'm 59 and until recently my 88 year old mother was still dealing with my hair because it seemed to me no-one knew how to cut hair properly anymore! Sadly she died in the New Year and six months on I decided I really needed a hair cut. I reluctantly went to a salon that was recommended to me but sadly I was right. My hair is terrible! The cut didn't look bad on the face of it, but after a couple of washes it simply doesn't hang right. There's no movement in my hair at all, it just sits there like wig. I have long, straight hair and she's just ruined the lay of it. I think they don't train hairdressers how to cut all the different hair types now because the money's in the coluring and ballyaging. all the different, My poor friend has really curly hair and no-one will tackle it, even though my Mum could work wonders. So frustrated because I know what a good haircut should look like.

You can ask for it to be thinned with thinning scissors which is what I have. If you end up with a triangle shape for d someone else who can cut hair properly as they sound like they do t know that they're doing.

The photo is layered around her face , ask for long layers and then use the thinning scissors.

OP where are you getting your hair cut? Try a Vidal Sassoon trained stylist - IMO they are the best at cutting hair.