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Modest / Conservative bridesmaid/ groomsmaid dress for SIL

103 replies

DolbyAtmosMax · 11/03/2024 12:54

Hello all,

Looking for any recommendations that any fashionable Mumsnetters can suggest!

Background context – my BIL and his fiancé (SIL 1) are getting married and his sister (SIL 2 for ease) will be a member of the wedding party as a groomsmaid / bridesmaid, she is his half-sister which is relevant. My BIL and SIL are having more of a ‘combi’ wedding part where both sides ‘maids and mans’ on the day will be grouped together but the organisation of clothing etc. is being generally sorted by each specific side. SIL 2 I has grown up in a different country and will be flying to attend the wedding in the UK. My BIL and SIL 1 will be purchasing their wedding parties outfits and my BIL and SIL 1 are having a little trouble finding something for SIL 2 so I am trying to help!

SIL 2 comes from an area and background in her home country which is generally very conservative and she will need an outfit that reflects this, SIL 2 is not religious at all but her dress sense reflects the norms of the country and culture. For ease BIL and SIL 2 will be buying her outfit here, she will be coming over for a holiday before the wedding anyway and the outfit can hopefully be sorted.

Any suggestions would be very helpful to start researching! The wedding will be both ceremony and party in a very lovely (and pricey) historic venue with a big party and dress code will be formal but also quite glamorous. If relevant SIL 2’S style more secular and ‘Western/ European’ rather than maybe other modest style dress based on religious restrictions. SIL 2’s outfit needs to:

· Not be fitted at the waist AT ALL– this is where we are stuck as so many dresses that cover the other criteria are 1950’s style with a very fitted waist or ‘skimming’. The ideal shape is a big triangle or very A- line so fitted at the shoulders with lots more fabric and volume going down. Other styles like tea dresses, bias cut gown, skimming slip dresses etc. are still too fitted.
· Have a collar that comes to the neck
· No cleavage, back or shoulders showing
· Be at least knee length
· Arms on the dress to at least the elbow, if the dress is sleeveless BILs mother is an excellent sewer and can add arms to a sleeveless dress

Budget is negotiable really (any suggestions at the moment) and any colour as long as not white or brown! Luxury fabric or colours are all good! We have founds some dresses from brands like Bernadette or Molly Goddard but my BIL or SIL 1 don’t dress like this generally so have no idea of what is ‘good’ or not.

Disclaimer - I know that the above criteria is quite specific so just to say SIL 2 is fab and not causing any issues. BIL and SIL 1 are very excited to have her in the wedding and for her to have an outfit that she is comfortable in. SIL 2 won’t, and doesn’t, wear clothing that doesn’t match above but looks great day to day and for events in her home country, it’s just quite different from experience of the usual wedding gear that BIL and SIL 1's family have.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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VenusClapTrap · 11/03/2024 14:40

This is not dissimilar to the green one you posted, op, but might need a modesty panel to make the neck higher.

https://www.wolfandbadger.com/uk/long-satin-dress-i/

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 11/03/2024 14:45

We have founds some dresses from brands like Bernadette or Molly Goddard but my BIL or SIL 1 don’t dress like this generally so have no idea of what is ‘good’ or not.

Not heard of Bernadette, love Molly Goddard although don't own any. But having looked at Bernadette, if you like it and Molly Goddard you could have a look at Klements or maxi dresses on Sister Jane.

Klements

Sister Jane

Dresses

Dresses

We hand paint our unusual prints and make our womenswear ethically in England. We believe in slow fashion. Buy less but when you do buy, make it pieces you will be wearing forever. Our silk and cotton dresses and scarves are the perfect Keeper pieces,...

https://klements.co.uk/collections/dresses

BlossomBlossomBlossom · 11/03/2024 15:02

But … What you describe is exactly what is currently the most fashionable shape for dresses, @DolbyAtmosMax. (Assuming you’ll allow a waist seam, without waist definition?)

The loveliest are by Cecilie Bahnsen, but if your SIL is not keen on Molly Goddard she won’t like those either.

But have a look at these shops / brands for fashionable interpretations. There’ll surely be something suitable amongst them. Very varied prices.

Casey Casey
Rendezvous
Horror Vacui
Karolina Ozolinsiute
Teurn Studios
Sister Jane
Kemi Telford
Colenimo
Envoy of Belfast
Alemais
Community Clothing
Klements
Mouki Mou
Apres Paris
Co
Cawley Studio
Cos

BlossomBlossomBlossom · 11/03/2024 15:03

Not all those brands make obviously wedding-y clothes - but their stock is ever-changing so it’s worth keeping an eye on any places she likes the general idea of.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 11/03/2024 15:22

Casey Casey and Egg Clothing do beautiful clothes which would fit the remit.

BlossomBlossomBlossom · 11/03/2024 15:29

I knew there was somewhere I’d forgotten! Grin

NotFastButFurious · 11/03/2024 15:38

Ghost Fiona Ruched Satin Midi Dress, Black at John Lewis & Partners (the back might be an issue but could probably be covered)

Gina Bacconi Polly Maxi Dress, Navy at John Lewis & Partners

BlossomBlossomBlossom · 11/03/2024 16:18

<Sigh> Not wedding-y (unless thoroughly dressed ‘up’,) and deeply unsuitable for anyone who emits even a drop of human sweat - but I do love the detailing on this dress:

https://rendez-vous-store.com/shop/women-selection-discover-our-selection-rendez-vous-store/women-dresses-rendez-vous-store/ricorrrobe-pbd-dress-fine-cotton-twill-khaki/

The sleeves …

similarminimer · 11/03/2024 17:34

This seems bonkers - isnt she much more likely to find a suitable outfit at home?

Raccaccoonie · 11/03/2024 17:34

I would love to waft around in that purple scallop LEEM dress @Comefromaway !

Raccaccoonie · 11/03/2024 17:46

OP when you say 'Have a collar that comes to the neck' do you mean an actual collar (like on a work shirt or ruffly type thing) or just a neckline?

DolbyAtmosMax · 11/03/2024 17:52

Hi all, loads of suggestions thank you some really good places to look here! I’ll send these to SIL 1 and BIL who will speak to SIL 2.

SIL 2 does have her own clothes and shops that she likes but they aren’t quite the style that BIL and SIL 2 are after. Not to go to too much detail but also SIL 2, whilst not in any danger herself, her job and life has been affected by invasion of Ukraine and life is currently very busy and stressful as well as issues surrounding currency. She is attending the wedding happily but priorities are elsewhere at the moment so sorting and buying her wedding clothing is something that can be done here and hopefully a nice thing to do.

OP posts:
NewName24 · 11/03/2024 18:20

I've got nothing to add style wise, but I've just come to say how lovely it is that so many posters are taking the time and trouble to track down solutions for what is quite a niche challenge. Smile

I must remember this on the next of the regular threads started where new posters come on to have a moan about how horrible everyone on MN is.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 11/03/2024 18:49

NewName24 · 11/03/2024 18:20

I've got nothing to add style wise, but I've just come to say how lovely it is that so many posters are taking the time and trouble to track down solutions for what is quite a niche challenge. Smile

I must remember this on the next of the regular threads started where new posters come on to have a moan about how horrible everyone on MN is.

Tbh I expect BlossomBlossomBlossom her list on speed dial. I certainly have. It's not so much niche as dream wishlist.

Justlovedogs · 11/03/2024 18:52

Fandangoes · 11/03/2024 13:39

the green dresses you have shown as examples are beautiful, I would choose some fabric and ask a dressmaker to make you what you are looking for

I'd investigate this option. I had a dress made by a lady local dressmaker, no pattern, just asked for something similar to one I'd seen in a film. Wasn't anywhere near as expensive as I thought it would be and was beautiful.

R41nb0wR0se · 11/03/2024 18:53

For modest but very glam, Moonmaiden Gothic have some really lovely options in a range of styles and colours and make to order (with customisation options) for a very reasonable price

BlossomBlossomBlossom · 11/03/2024 18:57

I adore this dress, but its modesty is surely an ironic performance …

https://batsheva.com/en-gb/collections/new-arrivals/products/iva-dress-in-painted-rose-cotton?variant=44359970783481

BlossomBlossomBlossom · 11/03/2024 19:00

Speed dial?

Nah - just all saved to my screen. Grin

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