What screams frumpy?

[bradpittsbathwater]

What makes something/someone frumpy? It's hard to define. I know MN can get upset at this word.

Love Seasalt- great basics

Man that all sounds deadly. Yes give me Iris Aplin any day of the week

"and a woman I see on the school run on her way to work who has her hair in a basic ponytail, a fringe that doesn't suit her, square glasses from about 20 years ago and plain black badly cut trousers and a plain white v neck top, a little heavier than she prob should be for her height and dress sense.
Nothing wrong with any of this of course and I'm hardly miss fashion 2024"

A random woman with a 'basic ponytail' that has done nothing wrong other than not update her look. You were on the money from the start @CurlewKate

And before anyone tells me this is what S&B is - it's not.

I admire so many posters on S&B. There are so many informed, clever, thoughtful posters that will spend time researching options for a lovely flattering outfit etc or just those that just revel in the love a beautiful bag/haircut/whatever. I think those posters are great. What they link to might not be my cup of tea but I bloody love the enthusiasm and the desire to make someone feel good.

This thread is just a pop at women who - for whatever reason, and there can be a million reasons why a woman might not feel ready or willing to change her look - don't measure up.

@Notonthestairs I keep coming back to this thread- I probably shouldn't as so much of it is, sorry, but absurd, but that's a great comment.

Well, that sounds boring. 🙁Thank goodness I couldn't care less if others consider me well dressed or not.

😂😂

This thread is just a pop at women who - for whatever reason, and there can be a million reasons why a woman might not feel ready or willing to change her look - don't measure up

With respect I put some of the things that make ME feel frumpy. And I was really clear in explaining that.

I was making no pop at anyone. I totally respect the fact that we are all different and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. Imho there's no blanket approach. A case in point see 'camel ' above.

Also I really think you can discuss the idea of what is frumpy without it being a pop at anyone in particular. You can acknowledge that we are all different and these things are only a matter of opinion.

There are also many occasions in my life when I fall heavily into the frumpy camp. As you say lots of reasons. And during those times I am no worse a mother, friend or wife. It has no bearing. I still measure up in the ways that count. It's only clothes.

Why is it a no go area to discuss a subject like this?

Nobody's having a go, I stated in my post there was nothing wrong with the way the woman was dressed. She dresses smartly, she may well look at me and think I'm a scruff. Opinions and thoughts are allowed.

I can acknowledge your posts @sunglassesonthetable but also recognise the broader themes on this thread.

I started reading the thread from the beginning. I've read every post. IMO many posts are not about self reflection or well meant advice.

As I said there are a million reasons why a woman might not want or be able to update their clothes/hair/makeup - it's not just about money but having the time to apply thought to something else.

And if you (You meaning anyone posting) are happy to describe other women as frumpy - and there seem to be plenty of people willing to describe friends/family/random women as such - then you should also be able to accept criticism in return.

S&B is a brilliant arena to discover stuff or get targeted advice. It's one of my favourite sections. But that doesn't give every thread a free pass. So I'll stand by my original post.

Of course you were having a go. At least have the guts to own your judgemental attitude. The half hearted qualifier about "nothing wrong with that" really doesn't work.

"Frumpy" is meaningless. It's lazy thinking. Said it before on this thread, it's nothing more than trying to make subjective " I don't like" into an objective fact.

There's nothing wrong with disliking a particular style of dressing or individual items. I really dislike jeans. I really dislike trainers. To my eyes trainers just look ugly and I'd never wear them.

There's a big difference between that and saying anyone who does wear jeans and trainers is "frumpy".

I love clothes. I love looking at what people are wearing. I do it all the time. And people divide into 2 camps - those wearing clothes which I like, which I often will compliment them on, and those I don't. The ones I don't just pass me by; it's none of my business.

I can't begin to imagine paying so much attention to an ordinary person, going about their every day business wearing ordinary, everyday clothes but which I don't happen to like, to write a detailed description about them.

I like the sound of this person you know. She sounds awesome.

Tunic dress with leggings
Bulky cardigans
Quilted jackets
Nondescript oversized shapeless clothes
Skinny jeans with ankle boots
Too much polyester
Bland leisurewear
Bright red lipstick

I can't begin to imagine paying so much attention to an ordinary person, going about their every day business wearing ordinary, everyday clothes but which I don't happen to like, to write a detailed description about them

What about the clothes that make YOU feel frumpy?

Perhaps if the OP was phrased differently this might be a subject that could be discussed freely.

Grandmacore like other ironic or 'ugly' fashion only really works on the young as it's the incongruity or contrast between the beauty of youth and the otherwise frumpy clothes. It's like a beautiful woman wearing androgynous clothing like a tuxedo. It only serves to magnify the beauty.

I think people look utterly ridiculous in grandmacore, so to me it doesn't magnify beauty. Although beautiful people can get away more with wearing ugly clothes, just as beauty is rewarded in most areas of life.

This thread has made me people watch a bit and I don't think frumpy and outdated are the same thing at all. I can see why skinnies and ankle boots could be outdated - they've been around for years and aren't a new, fashionable look. But I think they've become a classic look and women who wear well fitting skinnies and flattering boots, looked great to me. Same with the knee high boots - not height of fashion maybe, but not frumpy.

This thread has made me people watch a bit and I don't think frumpy and outdated are the same thing at all.

Agree

The 'frumpy' dress that I ordered (and was excited about) arrived yesterday:

https://www.stories.com/en_gbp/clothing/dresses/midi-dresses/product.collared-midi-shirt-dress-beige.1167200004.html

It was a synthetic, ill-fitting mess! Maybe I need to go through this thread for tips. I'd hoped to be frumpy and fabulous - sadly not.

@tittybumbum I see what you mean. I don't think I'm unattractive but I certainly look like I'm in my 30s so I don't think that fashion would work for me 😂 I'm guessing it's a bit like when I was young and teens wanted to look like avril lavinge so wore baggy clothes, ties and sweatbands. Looked ok someone at 15 but wouldn't have worked on my 35 year old mum!

I had walking boots, skinny jeans and an outdoor coat on yesterday for an 8 mile dog walk. Did get changed when I got home.

I think there’s a big difference between wearing outdoor clothing for outdoor pursuits, dog walking, hill hiking, gardening, versus wearing it for lunch in a cafe with friends for example. There’s maybe then an element of frumpy to inappropriate clothing for the activity 🤔

Sleeveless dresses are a no go for me. Instant frump. I love that dress though.

Was out for lunch with friends. In our late 50s mostly and one at 70. The stylish one of us who loves clothes, 56, wearing skinnies, great ankle boots and nice top, I had on skinny jeans and a top, and 70 year old was absolutely rocking it in leopard print leggings, bizzare coloured top and bright pink hair….

a lot of it is confidence and attitude. Confident is rarely frumpy.

Going for a coffee with a friend this morning. I will be wearing boots over leggings and a waterproof parka because we will be walking in the rain.

However, I will be wearing a nice jumper in a colour that suits me and scarf (which I will probably remove once there)

@PoweredByFairdust
The photo you used, is an outfit my student DD will wear, it's a young style and they carry it off, same as when grunge was teen cool, your mum wouldn't have worn it.
Styles suit different ages.
I always admire how my DD looks, youth, confidence and not caring what anyone thinks is always a winner.