What screams frumpy?

[bradpittsbathwater]

What makes something/someone frumpy? It's hard to define. I know MN can get upset at this word.

I wear supermarket clothing sometimes, but I have no problem if people talk about expensive clothing or brands on what is-after all- the S and B board.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow how is the comment I liked from @DetectiveDouche misogyny? Now I'm well and truly lost. It is for women, not against them.

I don’t really consider Mumsnet to be social media. It was around before any of the modern SM.. isn’t particular visual and is focused on discussions.

I expected it to be Anne. Who I dress most like. But the actress is way better looking and slimmer than me

That is like saying someone wearing a hearing aid is automatically frumpy? It isn't a nice thing to say and more importantly it isn't true.

In my head frumpy is shapeless, square & dull colours on me. Brown clothes instantly look frumpy on me. However they could look classy, stylish & elegant on someone else.

But someone may see me in an outfit that I feel great in & think 'what a frumpy old bat'. 😱

If anyone else thinks anything about your clothes who you don’t know. That’s their issue and I actually think most people are too consumed in their own issues anyway. If a friend is saying something behind your back about your dress sense then she/he’s not your friend. If someone asks me face to face what they think about an outfit then that’s asking me personally, I will be honest but kind. So many women (me included) have a way of judging ourselves harder than anyone else ever does.
Clothes are clothes. People you don’t know aren’t important and they don’t usually care that much. If you have a feeling you need help with what to wear then there’s lots of professionals who can help with that. Stylists, even shop assistants.
Wear what you want! If you like a colour wear it. a style wear it. If you feel unsure and insecure ask for advice perhaps? 🤔

Funnily enough they don't seem keen to put photos of themselves on here, or even tells us what they are wearing.

Me sat here in my dressing gown as cannot sleep.

It's a rather ableist comment isn't it.

*threads like this ALWAYS get peoples backs up. Some posters seem to feel personally attacked. And that it's bitchy. As if it's some sort of no go area. And directed at other women rather than how you might feel about yourself.

Personally I think discussing an OP like this is totally reasonable on a Style& Beauty Board. And quite interesting.*

It's a great topic to discuss on a style & beauty board, where people have an interest in fashion & style.

What I think a number of posters have got wrong is to demonise particular items of clothing. To me, the thing that separates frumpy from fabulous - and it can be fine line - is the ability to put an outfit together and wear it with confidence.

A cardigan isn't frumpy by itself, but the wrong cardigan with the wrong dress can make the person wearing it look tired and careworn.

Frumpy to me suggests baggy, floaty clothes unless worn on a young slim person. I love fat face and mountain warehouse so I’m clearly frumpy. Do I care? No.

I think it’s wearing the style of clothing that is normally worn by people 20 years older than you are.

Nah, it's the semantics of the word frumpy as a description of a woman which offends feminist sensibilities.

We could discuss clothes that are dated looking, and avoid the woman-shaming?

You may as well just buy and wear what you like....frump be damned!

Alot of the stuff that is trending as fashionable now I can remember as being the height of frumpiness when I was younger (oversized blazers, the current jumper styles, mom jeans for example).
So even if you invest in expensive 'fashionable' pieces now your wardrobe will be Frump City in a few years and then what?.....chuck it all out!?

So invest in clothes you love and that suit you.....and every 10 yrs or so you be the absolute height of fashion!!LOL😆

I don't think he is.

I think frumpy is when clothing is designed purely with function in mind and no thought is given to how it will look on a person's real life body. So for me, it's things like knee length shorts, fleece jackets. Perfectly functional but not at all about appearance.

Sometimes the designer will try to put some weird detail to make it look more interesting, but it's badly thought out and a bit random - so those black plain ankle boots with a wrinkle effect across the top or when M&S puts frills and buttons and shit on otherwise plain but okay clothes. Those details that don't add anything that makes an item look better.

Mostly clothes are made for slim, well proportioned women - it is much harder to dress a big bust, especially on a budget because clothes are made as cheaply as possible now and aren't cut for women with more shape.

I suppose I think of frumpy dressing as wearing something ill fitting just because it covers you, even if the trousers are saggy or the hems too short and not caring about this.
And I think it might be in wearing a formulaic look, so that you don't have to think about your own individual style - I think the patterned dress/leather or denim jacket/trainers look has spilled into this now. It's a way of being invisible almost. And that's what I think frumpy might be - trying to not be noticed or stand out in any way.

For men it's jeans/trainers/t shirt that don't have any thought put into the design - just bland cover up clothes.

FWIW I don't think expensive branded sportswear is better than lots of unbranded equivalents - it all just looks better on fit, toned, slim bodies, regardless of where it's from.
And I love skinnies and ankle boots.
But to avoid 'frumpy' I think you do have to consider body shape, colouring, the items that you personally feel happy in and a little bit of what is fashionable.

I think of frumpy as a very neat and tidy way of dressing, constrained and conservative, almost self-consciously invisible.

I disagree.
I prefer to look neat rather than scruffy.

@LadyBird1973 I think what you are describing would be classed as unflattering rather than "frumpy".

A few years ago I saw a thread where someone asked the question along the lines of what items should I buy to make my wardrobe look a bit more contemporary?

You'd think that was a pretty standard question on S&B.

The absolute kick off!!

"I'll wear what I want "
" No one's telling me"
"Bitches"
"Misogynist"
"I don't give a fuck"
They can fuck off"
"Fashion is for losers, shallow "etc

It was extreme.

Why is a thread like this one or that one such a trigger?

This could be minimalism though. Which when done right is uber stylish.

I don’t think it’s all about the clothes, but a mix of clothing and the attitude of the wearer.

surprised by many of the comments in this thread - skinny jeans & frumpy would never fit in the same picture for me… but also from reading these I think I may have become frumpy without realising 😂

Bit off-tangent but I had to look up waterfall cardigans as had never heard of them and now they are popping up on all my feeds and haunting me!
(And seem perfectly inoffensive.)

People do suit different shapes of jeans, sonce we don't all have identical bodies, so I also don't understand the notion that skinny jeans are frumpy. Surely how skinnies or bootleg or flares look, is down to individual proportions and how they are styled?
That's not to say that at different times one shape is considered more fashionable than another, but I wouldn't say a woman in skinnies and boots is frumpy if those items fit well and suited her shape.

Nah, it's the semantics of the word frumpy as a description of a woman which offends feminist sensibilities.

We could discuss clothes that are dated looking, and avoid the woman-shaming?

I'm not sure if you realised I was quoting part of a previous post as the formatting didn't work?

FWIW I completed agree with you re not woman shaming. My point is that no individual item of clothing is frumpy and nothing should be a no go area. (Well except Mary Jane's on anyone over the age of 6.)

Most of the items that have been suggested as frumpy look perfectly fine as part of a co-ordinated outfit.