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What screams frumpy?

995 replies

bradpittsbathwater · 05/03/2024 08:30

What makes something/someone frumpy? It's hard to define. I know MN can get upset at this word.

OP posts:
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krustykittens · 06/03/2024 13:51

Leather jackets? Yep. Ankle boots with skinny jeans? Yep. Don't give a fuck? Yep. I wear what suits me and what reflects me, as well as what I find comfortable.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 06/03/2024 13:52

CaveMum · 06/03/2024 12:18

Genuine question, if cardigans are considered “frumpy” what do women wear to keep themselves warm?! I work in an office, dress code is smart but not quite as formal as “business dress”. I like to wear dresses as it’s easier than coordinating separates, and I like wearing dresses, but our building is old and drafty, so I need an extra layer to keep warm!

My advice, which I've said before is that "frumpy" is a meaningless word used by people desperately trying to convince others their opinion is worth listening to. It generally won't be.

That's doubly true in the case of anyone trying to convince you wearing a cardigan is inherently "frumpy" and such people can be safely ignored.

Nopoppinginplease · 06/03/2024 13:54

I think ankle boots with anything look utterly awful and wrong.

4610J · 06/03/2024 13:58

Nopoppinginplease · 06/03/2024 13:54

I think ankle boots with anything look utterly awful and wrong.

I love chunky ankle boots with everything apart from a really posh dress.

NOWorNeverNowhere · 06/03/2024 13:59

Vohgue · 06/03/2024 12:57

Sorry but the majority of British high street is frumpy. I don't know how and where you all shop anymore but the obsession with cardigans, fat face, leather jackets (noone wears these anymore) and white stuff whatever/boden etc is so bad. Dull, jersey ditzy print floral = no good. Stuff you wore 5 years ago and think still looks good = no good. 80s maxis dresses = last year. Experiment a bit (with something you think may not suit you)! Wear some odd shaped denim or a dress you think should be worn by your mother in law. I dunno! Be brave.

Yet odd shaped denim... and MIL stereotypes... = "no good."

Helloandgoodmorning2 · 06/03/2024 14:00

As women we should all be supporting each other wearing what ever we bl**y well want if it makes us happy. I am short and fat and feel great in my floral dresses, coloured tights and boots. If you think I am frumpy then I am glad you are not my friends. Women are so cruel to other women just because they like different clothes/bags/houses/books etc etc etc.

Nopoppinginplease · 06/03/2024 14:01

4610J · 06/03/2024 13:58

I love chunky ankle boots with everything apart from a really posh dress.

I should have disclaimered that with I'm not remotely fashionable or stylish, I just hate ankle boots, especially with short skirt/dress, and even more so if it's a bare leg.

NOWorNeverNowhere · 06/03/2024 14:01

4610J · 06/03/2024 13:58

I love chunky ankle boots with everything apart from a really posh dress.

@Nopoppinginplease are you meaning all ankle boots including chunky/lace up etc? What on earth do you wear in Autumn/winter? Longer boots??

SusieKin · 06/03/2024 14:03

I always think tiered dresses look frumpy ( well on me anyway!)

4610J · 06/03/2024 14:03

Experiment a bit (with something you think may not suit you)! Wear some odd shaped denim or a dress you think should be worn by your mother in law. I dunno! Be brave.

I must film my DH's reaction as I walk down the stairs if I do this.

Nopoppinginplease · 06/03/2024 14:10

NOWorNeverNowhere · 06/03/2024 14:01

@Nopoppinginplease are you meaning all ankle boots including chunky/lace up etc? What on earth do you wear in Autumn/winter? Longer boots??

Unless you are young and thin I think they look awful, but I wear birkenstocks with socks so don't take my word for anything.

This image is taken from a fashion site entitled "12 ankle boots that go with anything". This is the height of frump for me.

What screams frumpy?
bradpittsbathwater · 06/03/2024 14:12

@Nopoppinginplease they look like horses hooves. I wear ankle boots with dresses but they go up higher than that.

OP posts:
NOWorNeverNowhere · 06/03/2024 14:23

bradpittsbathwater · 06/03/2024 14:12

@Nopoppinginplease they look like horses hooves. I wear ankle boots with dresses but they go up higher than that.

Me too, I love dresses, chunky boots/lace up, and tights. I haven't seen the ones pictured, but they are definately "interesting!"

FleurdeLiane · 06/03/2024 14:38

EcstaticMarmalade · 06/03/2024 13:29

I’m ND not a lightweight.

Sorry Comrade, I was joking (see previous exchange with @CaveMum).

Tiddlywinks63 · 06/03/2024 14:48

silvergarden · 06/03/2024 00:55

Maybe some of us don't want to look 'expensive'.

Can’t afford cos anyway. Much of their fashion reminds me of the Handmaidens Tale or Amish women for some odd reason.

DuskyBlueDepartingLight · 06/03/2024 14:49

BuddhaAtSea · 06/03/2024 11:43

I think the body shape makes us look frumpy more than anything. Menopausal belly becomes the centre of our attention and we just choose things that hide our middle.
Fast fashion makes us look frumpy. I’m thinking supermarket T-shirts, which have a shit cut, shit material and wash like a dishcloth.
Lack of time and money makes us frumpy. Long working days, long commute, COL, a couple of kids, ageing parents…one of a sudden the fact that you’re wearing a waterfall cardie means fuck all. You’re grateful for some warmth, something to hide the belly and it doesn’t break the bank.

It’s not the clothes’ fault, or our taste in things. It’s our lifestyle.

Seems like the word frumpy exists to shame women who, as per the dictionary definition mentioned earlier in the thread, do not keep up with fashion or make themselves sufficiently attractive (to the male gaze).

What's awful is that the quoted post makes it clear that just by virtue of ageing, gaining weight & having less time & money, women are told they're inadequate.

(Younger women are also told they're inadequate regardless of their looks because it's essentially about putting women down in order to control them.)

I mean, how dare women present themselves in public whilst their anatomy & physiology follows the typical lifespan pattern for their sex. Not sexy because you'd rather be warm, get back inside where you can do all the unpaid domestic & caring work.

Fashion, style & beauty require time & money.

And if you're interested in fashion, visual art & design principles applied to clothes? Superficial & high maintenance. That money could've been spent better, you're so selfish.

Femininity is both compulsory (enforced by legal, social & economic consequences) & devalued because of misogyny.

And yes, I dress well & I'm rewarded for my compliance / social conformity. But I can still see that it's harmful to women & not empowering to 'meet' beauty standards.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 06/03/2024 15:07

And if you're interested in fashion, visual art & design principles applied to clothes? Superficial & high maintenance. That money could've been spent better, you're so selfish

Ahem. I’ve got a degree in fashion. It’s an ART AND DESIGN degree. The textile industry is a massive employer in the U.K. and Britain produces the best design degree graduates in the world. Saying that fashion ‘is superficial and high maintenance’ is just… well superficial.

Fadhion is a reflection of society. I have an MA in fashion and anthropology. Even those who see fashion as ‘superficial’ are saying something. Fashion is basically social history in the making.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/03/2024 15:09

Vohgue · 06/03/2024 13:17

Err.. ok. For casual wear:

Linen or cotton blend boyfriend shirts, black or white or blue. Satin shirts. Embroidered crop blouse. Pyjama style hip length tops.

Hip/crop length knitted jumpers. Crochet tops/ skirts. Matching sets.

Maxi denim skirts. Cargo skirts. White mini skirts. Straight leg jeans (I don't suit wide leg or would wear these). Straight leg cropped leather trousers.

Waxed cotton trench, cropped puffer jacket, wool duster jacket.

Rib dresses or skims type jersey dresses and skirts.

Well you obviously have a very different body shape to me ! And suspecting you are a whole lot younger .

If I was to put my post-menopausal, size 16, 5'3" body into a skims ribbed dress or crop shirt people would be pleading for me to get back into my skinny jeans and oversized sweatshirt - which are both comfy and happen to suit me. Better looking frumpy than totally ridiculous.

DuskyBlueDepartingLight · 06/03/2024 15:10

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 06/03/2024 15:07

And if you're interested in fashion, visual art & design principles applied to clothes? Superficial & high maintenance. That money could've been spent better, you're so selfish

Ahem. I’ve got a degree in fashion. It’s an ART AND DESIGN degree. The textile industry is a massive employer in the U.K. and Britain produces the best design degree graduates in the world. Saying that fashion ‘is superficial and high maintenance’ is just… well superficial.

Fadhion is a reflection of society. I have an MA in fashion and anthropology. Even those who see fashion as ‘superficial’ are saying something. Fashion is basically social history in the making.

I like fashion. I don't think it's superficial.

My point is that women are damned if they do, damned if they don't according to misogynistic social norms.

HesterRoon · 06/03/2024 15:12

We’re discussing frumpy because it’s on a style and beauty thread so people are interested in fashion and looking good. It’s not that deep.

StarlightLady · 06/03/2024 15:14

Itsanothermanicmonday · 06/03/2024 09:05

😂 I just read that as Kickers and thought we were talking footwear. Thats my failing eyesight. I better go and get frumped up to go out.

Incidentally, one of my old bosses had umpteen pairs of colourful DM’s and still wears these in her late 60’s. She was a short colourful lovely funny warm feisty and stylish character and about as far away from funky as you could imagine.

I totally get the eyesight thing! These days l even have sex with my glasses on 🤓

GoodnightAdeline · 06/03/2024 15:14

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 06/03/2024 15:07

And if you're interested in fashion, visual art & design principles applied to clothes? Superficial & high maintenance. That money could've been spent better, you're so selfish

Ahem. I’ve got a degree in fashion. It’s an ART AND DESIGN degree. The textile industry is a massive employer in the U.K. and Britain produces the best design degree graduates in the world. Saying that fashion ‘is superficial and high maintenance’ is just… well superficial.

Fadhion is a reflection of society. I have an MA in fashion and anthropology. Even those who see fashion as ‘superficial’ are saying something. Fashion is basically social history in the making.

I agree.

It’s part of art, culture, psychology and history. Would we enjoy watching period dramas as much if they didn’t wear such different and interesting clothing? Would we feel mentally ready for our job interview in jogging bottoms and a t shirt? Would the fans of KISS enjoy the performance as much if the band decided to sing in jeans and a jumper? Would iconic moments in history be captured accurately without punk, hippy or grunge fashions?

If you couldn’t care less about fashion and mean it then these threads wouldn’t interest you enough to click on them, let alone bother you. But to make out fashion doesn’t have a place in society because it’s reserved for superficial, high maintenance types is just unobservant.

FleurdeLiane · 06/03/2024 15:21

HesterRoon · 06/03/2024 15:12

We’re discussing frumpy because it’s on a style and beauty thread so people are interested in fashion and looking good. It’s not that deep.

Speak for yourself.

It's quite possible to enjoy dressing/playing with personal aesthetics and be fascinated by fashion as a social phenomenon, including all its awful aspects.

JaneJeffer · 06/03/2024 15:24

I just hate ankle boots, especially with short skirt/dress, and even more so if it's a bare leg.
Yeah one bare leg would look strange alright.

afdtyujnb · 06/03/2024 15:27

Anyone involved with the school PTA. Reliably frumpy, bossy battle axes in my experience.

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