My hairdresser is good - but don’t feel comfortable with him.

[HeyJudeStart]

I found an excellent hairdresser a couple of years ago. He knows exactly what I want to achieve and is really good at it (and also in demand).

However, I don’t feel comfortable with him. Just something, not sure what. One example, he is definitely a bit full of himself, but it’s something more than just being confident. Last time I saw him I actually felt terrible the rest of the day, even though the cut was as good as ever!

The hunt for a new hairdresser is not easy at my age …

Anyone experienced this? I haven’t before. A hairdresser who can do my hair I usually get on with.

WWYD?

PS. I went somewhere else last time but it wasn’t as good. Decisions, decisions.

Feel your pain!

Do you know anyone else that uses him (or would like to?)? Could you book back-to-back appointments and go together? I go with my Mum?

Why did you feel awful after your appointment with him? It might help you get advice.

Why did you feel terrible? Was it something he said or did?

Can you request a silent appointment, and take a book/earphones and podcast? I hate mindless chat and just want to get the job done and leave.

I just left my very local, very decent hairdresser. He was a terrible gossip, so indiscreet about his clients. Odds on he was probably taking behind my back too. Goodbye, Billy!

Can you give us more detail ? What did he say ? Was he talking about other clients?

Thanks.

@purplecorkheart I can’t put my finger on it. He rather snobby/superior I suppose. But that kinda mentality doesn’t usually phase me. But it’s just a general ick feeling. I walk out - even though the haircut is great - feeling like the back of someone’s shoe. It’s very strange. I even dread going 😆. He’s my age. Maybe I’m also just too old to talk to hairdressers now. I should wear my “vow of silence” medallion on those days.

I think I’ve answered my own question. I most likely need to find someone new.

@sprigatitosilent appointment! I’ve never heard of that phrase - sounds a great idea. I can ask for those in future when I find somewhere. However with him, even in silence I don't think it would work. He doesn’t gossip or anything.

I am putting up with a dentist like this because unlike hair, teeth don't regrow and it's eyewateringly expensive and actually physically painful when it goes wrong. I can't imagine tolerating a whole day of a heavy feeling for a hairdresser.

Silent appointments are very acceptable these days, I’m sure the stylists love it too.

I’m 53 and have started to feel quite uncomfortable with hairdressers in general recently.

Do you normally have just a cut?
For an hour's cut I would probably nod vacantly and ignore most of what he was saying - take a book and tell him you just want to zone out.

If it's a 3-4 hour colour appointment, it would be harder!

I think it’s like with anyone. If they make you feel bad, stay away. People’s energies can really affect us just as ours affect them. I have a friend who makes me feel ill after I see her. She’s incredibly negative and I’ve stopped seeing her.

I remember there were posts about the most amazing guy who worked from
his beautiful house in Dulwich I think. I’m always tempted to look him up. Am never happy with my hair!

To be honest I would probably stick with him if I liked his hair cut or anything. However I would probably stick with him. However I would zone out or if it didn't affect my cut be on my phone doing something constructive like unsubscribing to junk email etc. My attitude is I am not going to like everyone and everyone is not going to like me, however if I am paying them for a service and they are providing that service well and are not rude then I will stick with them.

Mark Anderson

I went to him once, he was indeed both fabulous and lovely (as long as - assuming we're talking about the same one - you won't be embarrassed by the large photo of a semi-tumescent man in his beautiful cutting room).

Bit far for me for routine, unfortunately, or I would go every time.

I found quite early on that I never felt comfortable with male hairdressers, I felt as if I and my hair vaguely disappointed them, and only have female ones who are excellent. I don't chat and nor do they. Bliss

Take a photo of your hair now, exactly how you like it, to show the next hairdresser, then never go back to that man again.

@Abracadabra12345 Yes I do think there is something of the feeling of disappointment you describe, though it’s not obvious in any way. I think maybe he also wants me to be exciting and interesting in a way that he can relate to 😃. And I just don’t want to do that.

(I have had a couple of male hairdressers in the past when younger without this issue).

@MILTOBE I like your no-nonsence approach 🙂

I've put up with all sorts of crap over the years to get a good hair cut ,I used to grin and bear it. Only dumped one as he was really rough despite me keep telling him he was hurting me. I've had a fantastic hairdresser for the last 16 years, she's amazing. I feel your pain OP!

A hairdresser who cuts your hair really well is like gold. Find a way to make this work — just read while you’re in the chair! It’s not a social occasion. I like my hairdresser very much, but at least two thirds of the times I’m with her, I’m speed reading stuff for work. Talking isn’t necessary, and out of all the hairdressers I’ve ever gone to in 51 years in five countries, none of them have ever taken offence at me saying I wasn’t talking.

I know @DifferentAlgebra but I’m not sure even not talking would work. I did try that once with him - said I’m too tired - but I still felt the same when I left.

But how is he magically able to make you feel like shit if he doesn’t say anything, and you leave with excellent hair? You say it’s his air of superiority that gets to you — is he visibly sneering at you in the mirror or something?

I cannot explain it any more than my previous posts @DifferentAlgebra . But it’s real.

Anyway sone of the posts have been very helpful in clarifying.

Onwards and upwards!