Victorian themed wedding... guests need Victorian themed clothes

[LiesDoNotBecomeUs]

I'm not sure if this is the right place (I might be 150 years too late for this style advice).

I'm invited to a September wedding with a Victorian theme. (The family celebrating are Victorian society members in a city with proud Victorian-heritage.)

I need a 'Victorian-ish' outfit for the occasion but am mature, apple-shaped (tall -but size 16 and mostly belly).

I can improvise for children's book day events and things like that but this is a serious adult occasion - in a church - and my sewing skills are poor to appalling. (I'm known for messy injuries with sissors and stitching my -several years in the making- apron to my own skirt.)

Worst of all, I've a horrible idea that Victorian-ish means tight waist (I've never seen mine) and ballooning skirts.

I'm going to look like an appropriately themed traditional boiled pudding aren't I?

Can anyone help on how I can go about this? What style could pass for Victorian and not get me placed on the desserts table with custard?
(I've even considered arriving as a ghost.)

Bridgerton is 1813-1827

Victoria took the throne in 1837.

Waistlines got lower over the 30-40s and skirts fuller.

Sadly, those stomach skimming ones are regency. I would try Etsy. They have lots of Victorian-ish dresses.

Anne Lister died 1840, so just squeaks into mid 1800s.

Way off, I'm afraid.

Go on, wear an old nightie and a shawl and don’t wash your hair for a week and go as Mr Rochester’s first wife on an outing out of the attic!

I love this dress but would have nowhere to wear it AND IT'S ON SALE 😁

https://www.johnlewis.com/monsoon-valentina-velvet-and-lace-high-neck-midi-dress-black/p110778587?size=16&s_ppc=2dx_mixed_fashion_BAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=20480471915&cq_con=&cq_term=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_pos=&cq_plt=gp&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA_OetBhAtEiwAPTeQZxt6gCzfWHmQF8-rLSS9C0rU5STH2BrJ-Bq56e9DTEdehAKy1J1p3xoCuakQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I don't know how old OP is but if she is going to be one of the older guests I bet there were people then (as now) who never updated their style from the favourites of their younger days. You probably had some older ladies grumbling about corsets and how they'd have no truck with these modern nipped in waists and full skirts - extravagant and verging on the obscene! So I reckon she could get away with turning up as one of those ladies, but it would need a certain amount of confidence to pull it off.

🤣🤣🤣

I think this is very rude of the bride and groom. It’s a huge and very self-indulgent demand to make of your guests.

@LiesDoNotBecomeUs
Have a look at Holy Clothing. Based in America but deliver here too. There are skirts thst would work, even a few different designs of cloak!! Some lovely dresses but probably not vjctoran enough. Holy Clothing

You could get a smock to wear over the top of a dress, so as to look Victorian, but without the whole waistline issue. Something like this:

https://www.etsy.com/no-en/listing/929698442/garden-festive-prairie-dress-linen-dress?click_key=7005927b6c649853a243a35be67e9b8757fd6a96%3A929698442&click_sum=dd1910a9&ref=user_profile

@Rainallnight it's no more "indulgent" than expecting guests to wear something "smart" which I expect most couples getting married would expect their guests to wear.
Got to look "nice" in their photos and all that.

The bride and groom are lovely - and not being quite so 'precious'.
They are happy with Victorianesque or even just wedding wear... but they are fun to please and there will be lots of authentic costumes there. It would be good to fit in if possible.

Unfortunately, from your update it sounds like the look they're going for is full on crinoline. Uncomfortable, impractical, unflattering on many, not easy to source and lots of the options available will be quite Gothic and therefore black.

I may be wrong on this, but Victorian mourning rules were so strict that I'd imagine many women attending a wedding would have worn black, or one of the other mourning colours, depending on how long since the bereavement. So for a Victorian wedding black might be perfectly OK.

You've said you're tall with a 'belly' and don't wear skirts so what sort of dresses do you usually wear? We might be able to suggest some compromises if we know your size and style.

https://www.magicwardrobes.com/victorian-c-5.html?page=3

https://www.etsy.com/uk/market/reproduction_victorian_clothing

https://www.devilnight.co.uk/10-victorian?&p=6

Yes, Queen Victoria wore black at her son's wedding in 1863.

Me too. I hate dressing up & I'm not a huge fan of weddings. This would be my idea of hell

You could always take some inspiration from Queen Victoria herself - admittedly she was very very short but far from slim especially in her later years.

Holy shit. Just shows you there really is someone for everyone 😆

This is a useful site - details not just of the fashion but how to actually put together an outfit. And plenty on the accessories - a basic roughly-right dress thoroughly accessorised can be more effective and cheaper than going all out on the dress but wearing it with modern hair and all the wrong jewellery and makeup.

vintagedancer.com/victorian/1840-1850s-dickens-victorian-costuming-for-women/

She did, but I remember my (born Victorian) grandmother saying attending weddings in full mourning was considered bad luck, possibly why it's still thought to be a bit of a nono by some people today (although I wore black to my own😎)

I agree and I say that about any instructions on dressing.

If you're going, I'd think how a Chartist man might have dressed, it is mid 1800s after all. Oh that basis, you could wear pretty much anything that's worn out and might be hanging around the house still? Carry a banner about universal suffrage 😂

If that's unacceptable, just go for trousers and smoking jacket.

The actual wedding photo looks as depressing as hell!

You must be very stylish to wear black at your own wedding - I bet you looked stunning!