Victorian themed wedding... guests need Victorian themed clothes

[LiesDoNotBecomeUs]

I'm not sure if this is the right place (I might be 150 years too late for this style advice).

I'm invited to a September wedding with a Victorian theme. (The family celebrating are Victorian society members in a city with proud Victorian-heritage.)

I need a 'Victorian-ish' outfit for the occasion but am mature, apple-shaped (tall -but size 16 and mostly belly).

I can improvise for children's book day events and things like that but this is a serious adult occasion - in a church - and my sewing skills are poor to appalling. (I'm known for messy injuries with sissors and stitching my -several years in the making- apron to my own skirt.)

Worst of all, I've a horrible idea that Victorian-ish means tight waist (I've never seen mine) and ballooning skirts.

I'm going to look like an appropriately themed traditional boiled pudding aren't I?

Can anyone help on how I can go about this? What style could pass for Victorian and not get me placed on the desserts table with custard?
(I've even considered arriving as a ghost.)

I feel sorry for a lot of brides and grooms who get mentioned on here but I’m finding to a completely ridiculous.

If you want people to wear something so specific in my opinion you need to be able to fund it and help your guests source it. I don’t see anything wrong with saying ‘we’re having a Victorian themed wedding so feel free to dress for the period if you have the available clothing, add a Victorian style nod to your outfit or come as you are etc’ as then people have the option on it but in insisting on it is wrong.

I don’t believe that you’re the only one in the couples friends/families who isn’t involved in their hobby and it seemed even more rubbish of them at a time when there’s a cost of living and environmental crisis to insist on expensive period clothing that won’t exactly be worn again. And I say all this as somebody who is a big history/vintage clothing lover. It’s a wedding - not a play. Especially as Victorian apparently isn’t enough and you’re expected to have a mid-19th century outfit of the right social class etc given by your comments about not being allowed in the church.

That said I would reconsider looking into local theatre companies. Most am dram groups will have people of all shapes and sizes so you might be happily surprised. I belong to a group where we could sort a Victorian outfit for somebody tall and plus sized. Even professional theatres/hire places may well have capes, accessories etc that could be paired with a high waisted skirt/Victorianna blouse (although that’s not the right silhouette for the mid-1800s) to give off the right vibe.

You could also go for a Victorian-esque modern dress (maybe a high lace neck, button details etc) with lace up heeled boots and go all out on your hair - middle parting, elaborate braiding/curls incorporated into a bun. You can pick up some very pretty jet jewellery on sites like Etsy to complete the look. There’s actually a surprising amount of Victorian accessories for sale on Etsy/in vintage shops - you could see if you could get hold of some opera glasses, embroidered evening bags etc to add a genuine touch.

If you genuinely want to invest the time and money then I think a dress maker who specialises in historical dress is the way to go (although be prepared for it to be incredibly expensive for the fabric alone let alone the construction).

Also, OP, for what it's worth I think this a dreadful thing for your friends to do and I'm a historical re-enactor 😂So sorry you're having to look for something so specific that might make you feel uncomfortable :( When we got married a lot of people asked if we were recreating a time period but we didn't want to force our friends to have to rent costumes so we just went with modern cocktail attire.

These are probably made of very cheap material but are an easy option.

Full length skirt, ankle boots high necked blouse and choker necklace. The skirt should be easy to find online, ditto any modern ankle boots, blouse may take more searching but appear to be in fashion.

Could you go as Dr Who? Just got out of the tardis to find that aliens are invading a Victorian church wedding in Wiltshire.

I love fancy dress but this all sounds a bit too serious for me.

Gentleman Jack ?

I once hired a fabulously over the top dress with crinoline from a local Am Dram society for a very modest fee. It my be worth seeing if there's something similar near you and seeing if there's something that would fit/suit you.

Look at this blouse:

www.laredoute.co.uk/ppdp/prod-350227753.aspx

Great idea. 🤣🤣

I've got a corset for a victorian 'line' when I dress up for a annual victorian event. I don't wear it authentically tight but it gives me the right outline, which I then emphasise with other clothes (flat front to skirt large skirt, cropped jacket)

Some friends of ours had a medieval wedding and asked us all to dress in costume. But the difference was that the medieval hall where they got married had a costume room! So we all arrived in casual clothes and then chose what we were going to wear for the day. So much fun and no stress.

Tell them you have TB, measles, typhoid or syphallis and save yourself the bother

You could go all out and wear a white wedding dress. It was Queen Victoria herself who popularised it to the point it became the default for brides, so the perfect Victorian tribute if you will?!! 😂

"They are aiming for mid 1800s."

In which case they're aiming for a lot of people wearing something else or not attending! Mid 1800s means a huge crinoline skirt - a ridiculous thing to ask people to source / make.

Perhaps you could get back to them and ask how they think you'll find an 1850s dress? If you find something, you'll probably want a large cape or shawl (which was fashionable in the mid 1800s) to cover your middle.

I'd ask them to be more flexible as the late 1800s is much more practical and achievable (see my previous post).

Edited to add that you don't have to show your waist with a skirt. Wear a short cape or a shawl over the blouse.

My DD who is 9 went in something similar for Victorian day at school:
Floral wide skirt (it was actually a sundress of mine)
Enormous white blouse (also mine, I put elastic round the sleeves to hold them up, and ribbon round the waist).
Knitted shawl - you could definitely get something from Vinted, this one would fit the bill:

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4027093945-pretty-mantaray-shawl?referrer=catalog

By late Victorian times there were women working in offices or factory girls would also wear skirts and blouses.

Wow I can't believe they've had anyone say yes to attending. Totally inappropriate to dictate guests' clothes

The parlour-maid outfit on that Morph Suits site looks flattering and easy to wear, no huge bustle or anything. And a straw hat decorated with flowers would be perfect to dress it up for the maid’s day off.
https://www.morphsuits.co.uk/womens-old-time-maid-costume

OP, you lucky duck - I LOVE dressing up daftly and would relish this chance! Don't go half-arsed, what the feck is 'Victorian-ish' anyway?? c1980's Laura Ashley? You will just end up looking frumpy without remotely looking the part. I'd go to a costume rental place and I'm absolutely sure they will have all sizes. As CMOT said, corsets are fab and actually not uncomfortable if they fit properly. You might not get a 24" waist but you'll get a waist again, it'll look great.

OP wow you are so lucky! No idea where I would start with this but now I'm wondering who my secret Victorian friends are and why they haven't had Victorian themed weddings!!
please do update us with what you end up wearing!

I must admit I'd love it too - much more fun than Bombshell or Phase 8.

1860s was 'artistic dress', which was a forerunner of the later aesthetic and rational dress movements.

Weirdly, I have only recently come across this site and also posted it on another thread.... Victorian but wearable.

I’d love it if the happy couple were going to pay for it/help source it but asking me to recreate an elaborate historical style of dress that requires lots of fabric, correct undergarments and skill to get right (and doesn’t easily come off the peg) with my own time and money definitely does not appeal…

I would google bridgerton style dress and go from there! Victorian dresses skim over the stomach and just flow from the breasts down so you should be fine in that regard. I’m jealous I’d love to attend a Victorian themed wedding!

Nope you're thinking Regency.